Since this happened back during training camp, I was gonna post the video in the Media Vault...but I figured it might generate some entertaining discussion. Watching this video, after the season they had, I couldn't help thinking that it would have been nice to have Kalmon put the entire organization under...and give them some helpful instructions.
So, if the front office, coaching staff and roster was put under hypnosis and you could offer a few 'suggestions'...what would they be?
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Step down, Mike Brown.....Mediocre Marv, you will go to the Stoolers and make them mediocre.....Piano Man, you have been invited to the Philharmonic, full time, vacate the building immediately!
Assuming no one can be told to quit or step down...
1. Mike Brown: Hire a qualified GM, expand your scouting department to normal NFL levels, build a practice facility, stop placing profit and nepotism over wins, appreciate your fans and players, and stop saying goofy words like "keen". It makes you sound like a doosh.
2. Marvin Lewis: Stop playing not to lose in 4th quarters, when you get a lead, and in playoff games. Show some fire and don't muzzle your players. No clapping.
3. Paul Alexander: Try to mimic what a different o-line coach does. Stop offering input on draft day.
4. Pacman: You're not in the ghetto anymore. You're a millionaire with a family. You're way too old to be "clubbing" anyway.
5. Burfict: Stop leading with your head. Tone down the dirty stuff.
6. Ogaboo: Team with Bodine to start a breakfast restaurant called "the reverse pancake machine". Ask the piano guru to be benched so you can focus on your new business venture.
The training, nutrition, medicine, fitness, playbooks and rules evolve. The athlete does not.
(02-01-2017, 07:26 PM)Shake n Blake Wrote: Assuming no one can be told to quit or step down...
1. Mike Brown: Hire a qualified GM, expand your scouting department to normal NFL levels, build a practice facility, stop placing profit and nepotism over wins, appreciate your fans and players, and stop saying goofy words like "keen". It makes you sound like a doosh.
2. Marvin Lewis: Stop playing not to lose in 4th quarters, when you get a lead, and in playoff games. Show some fire and don't muzzle your players. No clapping.
3. Paul Alexander: Try to mimic what a different o-line coach does. Stop offering input on draft day.
4. Pacman: You're not in the ghetto anymore. You're a millionaire with a family. You're way too old to be "clubbing" anyway.
5. Burfict: Stop leading with your head. Tone down the dirty stuff.
6. Ogaboo: Team with Bodine to start a breakfast restaurant called "the reverse pancake machine". Ask the piano guru to be benched so you can focus on your new business venture.
There all really good Shake, but my fav is the reverse pancake machine. Hahahahaha!
Hey buddy, RUN TO THE HOLE!!! make one cut and haul ass up field with everything you've got. Your linemen, even the ones who can block, have no idea where you're going.
Paul Alexander.. You're getting sleepy, sleepy, just as sleepy as your OL development the past 10 years. You need to make a decision, get with the times, or retire...
Volson is meh, but I like him, and he has far exceeded my expectations
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