Candidate Profiles

[CKwi88]

Some of these are pure gold. Had me rolling.

[BmorePat87]

Former Florida governor Jeb Bush announced his candidacy Monday for the Republican nomination in the 2016 presidential election, putting one of the early frontrunners in the polls officially into the race. Here are some key facts to know about Jeb Bush:

Birthplace: Shadow of his father and brother
Heritage: Seventh-generation Establishment
Languages: Fluent in both rich and poor
Connection To Hispanic Community: Checks out
Number Of Public Battles Over Coma Patients’ Right To Die That He’d Like To Have Back: 1
Biggest Obstacle To GOP Nomination: Has publicly acknowledged the humanity of illegal immigrants
Greatest Qualification: Already knows White House layout pretty well
Greatest Liability: O, what fickle hand of fate! ’Tis the very same privileged background that elevated him to such prominence in the first place!
As A Child Was Traumatized After Walking In On His Mother, Barbara Bush, Stepping Out Of The Shower: Possibly

[StLucieBengal]

When I hear his name all i can think of is lil bush cartoon .

[BmorePat87]

Billionaire real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump announced Tuesday plans to run in the 2016 presidential election, marking the first time he will formally seek the Republican nomination after floating the idea in several previous election cycles. Here are some key facts to know about Trump:

Wife: Unsatisfied
Net Worth: 3-4 presidential elections
Claim To Fame: First to refer to ISIS as “bozos”
Role: Billionaire who will have smallest impact on presidential race
Campaign Promise: Will turn America into an opulent destination for only the most exclusive citizens
Campaign Slogan: “I’m Going To Do This Every Four Years Until I Die”
Credentials: Proven job creator for desperate people who will do anything to be famous
Potential Liability: American people may not yet be progressive enough to elect mentally ill man
Vision For Presidency: 50 Miss USA finalists lined up along White House portico
Are We Just Enabling Him: Yes

[JustWinBaby]

[GMDino]

(06-16-2015, 03:58 PM)BmorePat87 Wrote:

Billionaire real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump announced Tuesday plans to run in the 2016 presidential election, marking the first time he will formally seek the Republican nomination after floating the idea in several previous election cycles. Here are some key facts to know about Trump:

   Wife: Unsatisfied
   Net Worth: 3-4 presidential elections
   Claim To Fame: First to refer to ISIS as “bozos”
   Role: Billionaire who will have smallest impact on presidential race
   Campaign Promise: Will turn America into an opulent destination for only the most exclusive citizens
   Campaign Slogan: “I’m Going To Do This Every Four Years Until I Die”
   Credentials: Proven job creator for desperate people who will do anything to be famous
  Potential Liability: American people may not yet be progressive enough to elect mentally ill man
  Vision For Presidency: 50 Miss USA finalists lined up along White House portico
   Are We Just Enabling Him: Yes

I thought his plan was just to have the country file bankruptcy like he does? 

[StLucieBengal]

I like that you do these pat. thanks

[BmorePat87]

The Onion struck gold with Jindal's




Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal declared Wednesday his candidacy for the 2016 presidential nomination, although the Rhodes Scholar and one-time Republican rising star faces difficult odds in a jam-packed primary field. Here’s what you need to know about Jindal:

Previous Occupation: LSU Tigers DE Coach/Asst. Defensive Coordinator (2003-2005)

Platform: To bring coastal wetlands restoration program he implemented in Louisiana to rest of country

Current Approval Rating: Nowhere to go but up

Education: Pretty impressive for a man who questions evolution

Career Accomplishments: Has for years dutifully served the people of a state he desperately wants to abandon

Biggest Strengths: Somehow least electable Catholic candidate in field that also includes Rick Santorum; as a child of immigrants, understands what it takes to keep them out of country; candidate best able to connect with Indian Americans who make up 65 percent of Republican primary voters

Foreign Policy Experience: Has already been publicly discredited by David Cameron and other European leaders

What Sets Him Apart: Brings diversity to bottom third of GOP candidate polls

Days He Has Left As Young Political Hotshot: 29

Will Most Likely Be Remembered For: Endorsing Jeb Bush after Iowa caucus

[BmorePat87]