Choose Joy

[xxlt]

Last night I was grocery shopping.

As I rounded the bend of an aisle and headed up the next one a buxom lady was pushing her cart toward me.

As she got closer I noticed her t-shirt, which, in addition to straining to contain what looked like two blue ribbon winning melons from the country fair, had some writing on it.

The writing said, "Choose Joy!"

Here are my questions:

1. What is the over/under on how many times a day she is asked which melon is Joy?

2. How disappointed are you in me for not asking?

[*wildcats forever*]

(04-07-2017, 12:08 PM)xxlt Wrote: Last night I was grocery shopping.

As I rounded the bend of an aisle and headed up the next one a buxom lady was pushing her cart toward me.

As she got closer I noticed her t-shirt, which, in addition to straining to contain what looked like two blue ribbon winning melons from the country fair, had some writing on it.

The writing said, "Choose Joy!"

Here are my questions:

1. What is the over/under on how many times a day she is asked which melon is Joy?

2. How disappointed are you in me for not asking?

The answer to your first question is likely in direct proportion to the IQ level in the immediate area. Remember, whoever said 'more than a mouthful is wasted' is an idiot.

As for your last question, well....you could have just said "Thank you for wearing that shirt. It really makes your eyes dance"

[xxlt]

(04-07-2017, 12:57 PM)wildcats forever Wrote: The answer to your first question is likely in direct proportion to the IQ level in the immediate area. Remember, whoever said 'more than a mouthful is wasted' is an idiot.

As for your last question, well....you could have just said "Thank you for wearing that shirt. It really makes your eyes dance"

So are you saying I was too dumb to ask or too smart to ask?

I think it made my eyes dance more than hers. And I think they would have been dancing no matter what shirt she wore.

[Rotobeast]

You should have explained how much joy can be gleaned from motor-boating.

Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk

[xxlt]

(04-07-2017, 01:53 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: You should have explained how much joy can be gleaned from motor-boating.

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And this is why I really should put you on speed dial.

By the way, I bought some bacon on my grocery trip. I was saddened not to see, "Made in Coshocton" on it. Wasn't it Oscar M. y'all are slicin' and dicin' up there?

[Rotobeast]

Yes.
The establishment number would be 537G, if it's ours.

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[xxlt]

(04-07-2017, 03:24 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: Yes.
The establishment number would be 537G, if it's ours.

Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk

Well, shit. Once I broke out the microfilm  reader to see the code and the use by date (seriously, could they make that information more obscure on the packaging?) I thought for a brief second... but no. The numbers matched but the "G" had "K" in front of it and a "B" behind it. This means I am eating meat that was produced by some poor sap behind the iron curtain who was dumb enough to work when everyone else got the same as him for laying in their cell and playing with their peter. And the used  by date was December 1991, but hey, it was only $9 a pound so all in all a good deal right?

Disappointed, but at least I am not living out the fantasy of certain other board members and eating  your meat. People already hate me because I am beautiful, I don't need hate for that too. 

[Rotobeast]

(04-08-2017, 09:35 AM)xxlt Wrote: Well, shit. Once I broke out the microfilm  reader to see the code and the use by date (seriously, could they make that information more obscure on the packaging?) I thought for a brief second... but no. The numbers matched but the "G" had "K" in front of it and a "B" behind it. This means I am eating meat that was produced by some poor sap behind the iron curtain who was dumb enough to work when everyone else got the same as him for laying in their cell and playing with their peter. And the used  by date was December 1991, but hey, it was only $9 a pound so all in all a good deal right?

Disappointed, but at least I am not living out the fantasy of certain other board members and eating  your meat. People already hate me because I am beautiful, I don't need hate for that too. 

I'm sorry you ended up with an inferior product. (Kidding, of course)
If it makes you feel any better, know that the meat was processed at my plant and sent out for packaging.
Sales were booming and we had yo outsource to meet demand.
Things went back to normal about 2-3 weeks ago.
Bellie prices went up, so hopefully you don't have to pay $10/lb next time.

They may hate you for being beautiful, but at least now they know you're not a Moose Lamb.

[xxlt]

(04-08-2017, 10:48 AM)Rotobeast Wrote: I'm sorry you ended up with an inferior product. (Kidding, of course)
If it makes you feel any better, know that the meat was processed at my plant and sent out for packaging.
Sales were booming and we had yo outsource to meet demand.
Things went back to normal about 2-3 weeks ago.
Bellie prices went up, so hopefully you don't have to pay $10/lb next time.

They may hate you for being beautiful, but at least now they know you're not a Moose Lamb.

All my life I've been  Moose Lamb trapped in a Gyro!

[Rotobeast]

(04-08-2017, 03:19 PM)xxlt Wrote: All my life I've been  Moose Lamb trapped in a Gyro!

Sounds hawt !

[Rotobeast]

[Fan_in_Kettering]

I'm just glad she got that off her chest.

[xxlt]

(04-09-2017, 11:49 PM)Fan_in_Kettering Wrote: I'm just glad she got that off her chest.

But a little sad she kept me off it, too.