Posts: 2,351
Threads: 94
Reputation:
9381
Joined: May 2015
Location: Tampa
Mood: None
Last night I was grocery shopping.
As I rounded the bend of an aisle and headed up the next one a buxom lady was pushing her cart toward me.
As she got closer I noticed her t-shirt, which, in addition to straining to contain what looked like two blue ribbon winning melons from the country fair, had some writing on it.
The writing said, "Choose Joy!"
Here are my questions:
1. What is the over/under on how many times a day she is asked which melon is Joy?
2. How disappointed are you in me for not asking?
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
Posts: 2,511
Threads: 33
Reputation:
28632
Joined: May 2015
Location: Where there are no bad days
Mood: None
(04-07-2017, 12:08 PM)xxlt Wrote: Last night I was grocery shopping.
As I rounded the bend of an aisle and headed up the next one a buxom lady was pushing her cart toward me.
As she got closer I noticed her t-shirt, which, in addition to straining to contain what looked like two blue ribbon winning melons from the country fair, had some writing on it.
The writing said, "Choose Joy!"
Here are my questions:
1. What is the over/under on how many times a day she is asked which melon is Joy?
2. How disappointed are you in me for not asking?
The answer to your first question is likely in direct proportion to the IQ level in the immediate area. Remember, whoever said 'more than a mouthful is wasted' is an idiot.
As for your last question, well....you could have just said "Thank you for wearing that shirt. It really makes your eyes dance"
Some say you can place your ear next to his, and hear the ocean ....
Posts: 2,351
Threads: 94
Reputation:
9381
Joined: May 2015
Location: Tampa
Mood: None
(04-07-2017, 12:57 PM)wildcats forever Wrote: The answer to your first question is likely in direct proportion to the IQ level in the immediate area. Remember, whoever said 'more than a mouthful is wasted' is an idiot.
As for your last question, well....you could have just said "Thank you for wearing that shirt. It really makes your eyes dance"
So are you saying I was too dumb to ask or too smart to ask?
I think it made my eyes dance more than hers. And I think they would have been dancing no matter what shirt she wore.
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
Posts: 5,810
Threads: 159
Reputation:
19883
Joined: May 2015
Location: Ohio
Mood:
You should have explained how much joy can be gleaned from motor-boating.
Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk
Posts: 2,351
Threads: 94
Reputation:
9381
Joined: May 2015
Location: Tampa
Mood: None
(04-07-2017, 01:53 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: You should have explained how much joy can be gleaned from motor-boating.
Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk
And this is why I really should put you on speed dial.
By the way, I bought some bacon on my grocery trip. I was saddened not to see, "Made in Coshocton" on it. Wasn't it Oscar M. y'all are slicin' and dicin' up there?
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
Posts: 5,810
Threads: 159
Reputation:
19883
Joined: May 2015
Location: Ohio
Mood:
Yes.
The establishment number would be 537G, if it's ours.
Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk
Posts: 2,351
Threads: 94
Reputation:
9381
Joined: May 2015
Location: Tampa
Mood: None
(04-07-2017, 03:24 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: Yes.
The establishment number would be 537G, if it's ours.
Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk
Well, shit. Once I broke out the microfilm reader to see the code and the use by date (seriously, could they make that information more obscure on the packaging?) I thought for a brief second... but no. The numbers matched but the "G" had "K" in front of it and a "B" behind it. This means I am eating meat that was produced by some poor sap behind the iron curtain who was dumb enough to work when everyone else got the same as him for laying in their cell and playing with their peter. And the used by date was December 1991, but hey, it was only $9 a pound so all in all a good deal right?
Disappointed, but at least I am not living out the fantasy of certain other board members and eating your meat. People already hate me because I am beautiful, I don't need hate for that too.
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
Posts: 5,810
Threads: 159
Reputation:
19883
Joined: May 2015
Location: Ohio
Mood:
(04-08-2017, 09:35 AM)xxlt Wrote: Well, shit. Once I broke out the microfilm reader to see the code and the use by date (seriously, could they make that information more obscure on the packaging?) I thought for a brief second... but no. The numbers matched but the "G" had "K" in front of it and a "B" behind it. This means I am eating meat that was produced by some poor sap behind the iron curtain who was dumb enough to work when everyone else got the same as him for laying in their cell and playing with their peter. And the used by date was December 1991, but hey, it was only $9 a pound so all in all a good deal right?
Disappointed, but at least I am not living out the fantasy of certain other board members and eating your meat. People already hate me because I am beautiful, I don't need hate for that too.
I'm sorry you ended up with an inferior product. (Kidding, of course)
If it makes you feel any better, know that the meat was processed at my plant and sent out for packaging.
Sales were booming and we had yo outsource to meet demand.
Things went back to normal about 2-3 weeks ago.
Bellie prices went up, so hopefully you don't have to pay $10/lb next time.
They may hate you for being beautiful, but at least now they know you're not a Moose Lamb.
Posts: 2,351
Threads: 94
Reputation:
9381
Joined: May 2015
Location: Tampa
Mood: None
(04-08-2017, 10:48 AM)Rotobeast Wrote: I'm sorry you ended up with an inferior product. (Kidding, of course)
If it makes you feel any better, know that the meat was processed at my plant and sent out for packaging.
Sales were booming and we had yo outsource to meet demand.
Things went back to normal about 2-3 weeks ago.
Bellie prices went up, so hopefully you don't have to pay $10/lb next time.
They may hate you for being beautiful, but at least now they know you're not a Moose Lamb.
All my life I've been Moose Lamb trapped in a Gyro!
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
Posts: 5,810
Threads: 159
Reputation:
19883
Joined: May 2015
Location: Ohio
Mood:
(04-08-2017, 03:19 PM)xxlt Wrote: All my life I've been Moose Lamb trapped in a Gyro!
Sounds hawt !
Posts: 5,810
Threads: 159
Reputation:
19883
Joined: May 2015
Location: Ohio
Mood:
Posts: 8,553
Threads: 297
Reputation:
70903
Joined: Jan 2016
Location: Kettering, Ohio
Mood:
I'm just glad she got that off her chest.
Posts: 2,351
Threads: 94
Reputation:
9381
Joined: May 2015
Location: Tampa
Mood: None
(04-09-2017, 11:49 PM)Fan_in_Kettering Wrote: I'm just glad she got that off her chest.
But a little sad she kept me off it, too.
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
|