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Double fail.
#1
I recently made a horrible mistake because I misunderstood something my friend told me. He had set me up with a woman he knew from work. We had only had a couple of dates when she invited me to meet some friends of her friends who were taking her out for her birthday. I felt I should bring a present so I asked my friend for a suggestion. He said she like Firkins, but I thought he said "merkins" so I bought her a nice one. Needless to say, she was shocked when she opened it in front of her friends. In fact I did not get a chance to explain the misunderstanding because I had to flee for my safety. Women's shoes can do a lot of damage.

So to try and make it up to her I ordered her a nice oak firkin from The Country Porch and sent it with a note of apology.

Unfortunately she was a huge fan of guitarist Michael Lee Firkins, and did not even know that a "firkin" was a small wooden cask. So she just thinks I am really weird.

I wonder if she kept the merkin?


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#2
(06-11-2019, 03:30 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I recently made a horrible mistake because I misunderstood something my friend told me.  He had set me up with a woman he knew from work.  We had only had a couple of dates when she invited me to meet some friends of her friends who were taking her out for her birthday.  I felt I should bring a present so I asked my friend for a suggestion.  He said she like Firkins, but I thought he said "merkins" so I bought her a nice one.  Needless to say, she was shocked when she opened it in front of her friends.  In fact I did not get a chance to explain the misunderstanding because I had to flee for my safety.  Women's shoes can do a lot of damage.

So to try and make it up to her I ordered her a nice oak firkin from The Country Porch and sent it with a note of apology.

Unfortunately she was a huge fan of guitarist Michael Lee Firkins, and did not even know that a "firkin" was a small wooden cask.  So she just thinks I am really weird.

I wonder if she kept the merkin?

Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake! Mellow
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#3
I can't tell if this is real as I don't know what any of those things are.
Summer is the yearly promise of things that never quite materialize.

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#4
(06-12-2019, 09:15 AM)michaelsean Wrote: I can't tell if this is real as I don't know what any of those things are.

I didnt either. I thought it was a pair of shoes. However, a merken is a wig for the pubic area. Oh the power of Google. LOL 

It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"
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#5
(06-11-2019, 03:51 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake! Mellow

Hilarious
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#6
(06-12-2019, 09:21 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: I didnt either. I thought it was a pair of shoes. However, a merken is a wig for the pubic area. Oh the power of Google. LOL 

It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"

Glad someone looked it up, because I was like what the hell is a firkin merkin!
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#7
(06-12-2019, 10:57 AM)sandwedge Wrote: Glad someone looked it up, because I was like what the hell is a firkin merkin!

You know, it's a merkin.  It goes around your firkin parts..
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#8
(06-11-2019, 03:51 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake! Mellow

Rep.


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#9
(06-12-2019, 09:21 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"


Just a little something I came up with while munching on some gherkins.


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#10
(06-12-2019, 01:40 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Just a little something I came up with while munching on some gherkins.


Or jerkin your gherkin?


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#11
I like eating at Perkins. Give me the Dirty Dozen please.
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Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female, Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.

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#12
Unfirkinbelievable.
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#13
Wait...a woman actually went out with you Fred? Will miracles never cease.. No accounting for bad taste or is it that "bad taste is timeless"? Anyone remember that bit of graffiti in the Oregon district in Dayton from the 70s and 80s? 
My key to long life: Get old or die! There are no further options available at this time.

Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse, but the one comfort we have is Cincinnati sounds worse. ~Oliver Wendal Holmes Sr.


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#14
Command landing strips are my "go to" for a perfect merkin gift.
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