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Double fail.
#1
I recently made a horrible mistake because I misunderstood something my friend told me. He had set me up with a woman he knew from work. We had only had a couple of dates when she invited me to meet some friends of her friends who were taking her out for her birthday. I felt I should bring a present so I asked my friend for a suggestion. He said she like Firkins, but I thought he said "merkins" so I bought her a nice one. Needless to say, she was shocked when she opened it in front of her friends. In fact I did not get a chance to explain the misunderstanding because I had to flee for my safety. Women's shoes can do a lot of damage.

So to try and make it up to her I ordered her a nice oak firkin from The Country Porch and sent it with a note of apology.

Unfortunately she was a huge fan of guitarist Michael Lee Firkins, and did not even know that a "firkin" was a small wooden cask. So she just thinks I am really weird.

I wonder if she kept the merkin?


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#2
(06-11-2019, 03:30 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I recently made a horrible mistake because I misunderstood something my friend told me.  He had set me up with a woman he knew from work.  We had only had a couple of dates when she invited me to meet some friends of her friends who were taking her out for her birthday.  I felt I should bring a present so I asked my friend for a suggestion.  He said she like Firkins, but I thought he said "merkins" so I bought her a nice one.  Needless to say, she was shocked when she opened it in front of her friends.  In fact I did not get a chance to explain the misunderstanding because I had to flee for my safety.  Women's shoes can do a lot of damage.

So to try and make it up to her I ordered her a nice oak firkin from The Country Porch and sent it with a note of apology.

Unfortunately she was a huge fan of guitarist Michael Lee Firkins, and did not even know that a "firkin" was a small wooden cask.  So she just thinks I am really weird.

I wonder if she kept the merkin?

Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake! Mellow
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#3
I can't tell if this is real as I don't know what any of those things are.
Summer is the yearly promise of things that never quite materialize.

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#4
(06-12-2019, 09:15 AM)michaelsean Wrote: I can't tell if this is real as I don't know what any of those things are.

I didnt either. I thought it was a pair of shoes. However, a merken is a wig for the pubic area. Oh the power of Google. LOL 

It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"
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#5
(06-11-2019, 03:51 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake! Mellow

Hilarious
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#6
(06-12-2019, 09:21 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: I didnt either. I thought it was a pair of shoes. However, a merken is a wig for the pubic area. Oh the power of Google. LOL 

It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"

Glad someone looked it up, because I was like what the hell is a firkin merkin!
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#7
(06-12-2019, 10:57 AM)sandwedge Wrote: Glad someone looked it up, because I was like what the hell is a firkin merkin!

You know, it's a merkin.  It goes around your firkin parts..
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#8
(06-11-2019, 03:51 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake! Mellow

Rep.


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#9
(06-12-2019, 09:21 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"


Just a little something I came up with while munching on some gherkins.


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#10
(06-12-2019, 01:40 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Just a little something I came up with while munching on some gherkins.


Or jerkin your gherkin?


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#11
I like eating at Perkins. Give me the Dirty Dozen please.
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Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female, Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.

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#12
Unfirkinbelievable.
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