How to deal with a one upper?

[WeezyBengal]

I have worked at a company for nearly 9 years now. I do software development and we hired a guy about a year ago to do PC support. That guy has recently switched over to the dev world and has been doing it for about 3 months now.

To put it short, he is driving me insane. He is constantly trying to one up. He schedules meetings, sets up webinars, and basically tries to act like hes smarter/above everyone else. Almost like he runs the department.

For example yesterday he sent an email out trying to get people to go to this user group in Clifton. He was the only one that ended up going and this morning he sent notes out about it to everyone that couldn't make it. Its almost like he did it just to let everyone know that he attended and that he was better than us all.

I just walked over to ask my co worker a question that this guy has NO IDEA about and he tried to answer the question even though he is completely ignorant to what it was about. He got the question wrong, of course.

This guy is just driving me insane. Its like hes trying to compete with me and out do me in everything. How do you go about dealing with someone like this? I try to ignore it the best that I can but it just eats at you.

[CKwi88]

I had a guy like that in my last job. We both got promoted to the same position (academic coordinators of an ESL school) and he was a real try hard. He would get up in meetings and talk about all the stuff he was doing, all these great ideas that he had. Would come to work in a suit and tie (this was not a suit-worthy job) and it seemed like the promotion went to his head.

I obviously don't know the ins and outs of your job and office, but in my case all I really could do was ignore it. His work didn't affect mine at all (we worked at different branches of the same school) and I decided to just let my work speak for itself and take care of the school I was working at and the team that I had. Most people see through these types anyways.

Now if his work has a direct affect on yours that might be a different story. I hear ex lax in the coffee is a good way to go.

[WeezyBengal]

(09-22-2017, 12:00 PM)CKwi88 Wrote: I had a guy like that in my last job. We both got promoted to the same position (academic coordinators of an ESL school) and he was a real try hard. He would get up in meetings and talk about all the stuff he was doing, all these great ideas that he had. Would come to work in a suit and tie (this was not a suit-worthy job) and it seemed like the promotion went to his head.

I obviously don't know the ins and outs of your job and office, but in my case all I really could do was ignore it. His work didn't affect mine at all (we worked at different branches of the same school) and I decided to just let my work speak for itself and take care of the school I was working at and the team that I had. Most people see through these types anyways.

Now if his work has a direct affect on yours that might be a different story. I hear ex lax in the coffee is a good way to go.

Lol we work together in the same department. We both do kind of the same thing, but have our own projects we work on. We are in a ton of meetings together and he has (shockingly) tried to take over as a project lead type of guy even though he has just started working on this stuff for less than 3 months now. 

[Sabretooth]

This reads like the perfect opportunity for a "mental bye Felisha ".
The guy may enjoy bugging others and if so will continue that behavior.
Ignore him when not necessary to interface with him on work related projects.
Hoping he gets fired or burns out maybe fruitless. Don't go postal.
Discuss with his boss the disrupting work habits, perhaps the boss will define his job parameters and expectations.
Don't waste any mental energy fretting about him ( that may get under his skin, which is a good thing - I'm big on passive revenge )
When you go to the bathroom you can name your bowel movements after him ( for a secret chuckle ).
Don't let him live free in your head- that is valuable property

[XenoMorph]

(09-22-2017, 11:42 AM)WeezyBengal Wrote: I have worked at a company for nearly 9 years now. I do software development and we hired a guy about a year ago to do PC support. That guy has recently switched over to the dev world and has been doing it for about 3 months now.

To put it short, he is driving me insane. He is constantly trying to one up. He schedules meetings, sets up webinars, and basically tries to act like hes smarter/above everyone else. Almost like he runs the department.

For example yesterday he sent an email out trying to get people to go to this user group in Clifton. He was the only one that ended up going and this morning he sent notes out about it to everyone that couldn't make it. Its almost like he did it just to let everyone know that he attended and that he was better than us all.

I just walked over to ask my co worker a question that this guy has NO IDEA about and he tried to answer the question even though he is completely ignorant to what it was about. He got the question wrong, of course.

This guy is just driving me insane. Its like hes trying to compete with me and out do me in everything. How do you go about dealing with someone like this? I try to ignore it the best that I can but it just eats at you.

Let him put his foot in mouth.... and don't help him get it out

[treee]

Just keep being good at what you do and the rest will take care of itself.

[BengalHawk62]

(09-22-2017, 12:12 PM)Sabretooth Wrote: This reads like the perfect opportunity for a "mental bye Felisha ".
The guy may enjoy bugging others and if so will continue that behavior.
Ignore him when not necessary to interface with him on work related projects.
Hoping he gets fired or burns out maybe fruitless. Don't go postal.
Discuss with his boss the disrupting work habits, perhaps the boss will define his job parameters and expectations.
Don't waste any mental energy fretting about him ( that may get under his skin, which is a good thing - I'm big on passive revenge )
When you go to the bathroom you can name your bowel movements after him ( for a secret chuckle ).
Don't let him live free in your head- that is valuable property

What? 

















Challenge him to a duel out back after work.  If he doesn't like that, take the back of your hand and tap him, not so ever gently, right in his sack.  then turn around and run down the hallway laughing like a Hyena.  That'll get his attention. 

[Sabretooth]

(09-22-2017, 03:22 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: What? 

When on the way to the toilet Weezy could think to himself, I gotta take a " one uppers' name ".

Sorry not to have been clear on that BengalHawk62 .















Challenge him to a duel out back after work.  If he doesn't like that, take the back of your hand and tap him, not so ever gently, right in his sack.  then turn around and run down the hallway laughing like a Hyena.  That'll get his attention. 

[Bengal Dude]

Next time he tries to jump into something, just give him one of these.

[*PhilHos*]

(09-22-2017, 11:42 AM)WeezyBengal Wrote: I have worked at a company for nearly 9 years now. I do software development and we hired a guy about a year ago to do PC support. That guy has recently switched over to the dev world and has been doing it for about 3 months now.

To put it short, he is driving me insane. He is constantly trying to one up. He schedules meetings, sets up webinars, and basically tries to act like hes smarter/above everyone else. Almost like he runs the department.

For example yesterday he sent an email out trying to get people to go to this user group in Clifton. He was the only one that ended up going and this morning he sent notes out about it to everyone that couldn't make it. Its almost like he did it just to let everyone know that he attended and that he was better than us all.

I just walked over to ask my co worker a question that this guy has NO IDEA about and he tried to answer the question even though he is completely ignorant to what it was about. He got the question wrong, of course.

This guy is just driving me insane. Its like hes trying to compete with me and out do me in everything. How do you go about dealing with someone like this? I try to ignore it the best that I can but it just eats at you.

A friend of mine, named Banjaxed, had this philosophy that I swear by: got a problem? Pee on it.

In all seriousness, hit on him. Be subtle about it, but make it clear that you like him like him and you could be DTF. Assuming he's straight, he'll avoid you like the plague. If he's gay, he'll want to impress you with his listening skills and will shut up whenever you're talking.

Works every time like 90% of the time when it works 25% of the time or it doesn't work.

[BengalHawk62]

(09-22-2017, 04:24 PM)PhilHos Wrote: A friend of mine, named Banjaxed, had this philosophy that I swear by: got a problem? Pee on it.

In all seriousness, hit on him. Be subtle about it, but make it clear that you like him like him and you could be DTF. Assuming he's straight, he'll avoid you like the plague. If he's gay, he'll want to impress you with his listening skills and will shut up whenever you're talking.

Works every time like 90% of the time when it works 25% of the time or it doesn't work.

I like it! You got any of that Sex Panther piss over there you could loan Weezy?

[Millhouse]

The worst part in working with someone like this is that you never know if the boss or bosses like it. Hopefully most bosses will see right through it and are close to telling him to where his place is in the food chain of the company. But in my experiences though, some bosses didnt see the little things that annoyed the piss out of me like this sort of stuff. But seem to see that 'go getter attitude'.

I think when it comes down to it, knowing how his boss feels will help quite a bit, one way or the other. All in all though, just keep doing what you are doing.

And then remember this when he annoys you..

[Yojimbo]

Welcome to work. We have to deal with all kinds of personalities at our workplaces. I deal with it by just accepting people are different from me and that’s ok. Could be he’s just trying to make a good impression since he’s new and he’ll chill once he feels more secure in his job.

[StLucieBengal]

I think you should befriend the guy. Yes he is annoying but he has proven he will do anything and is willing to jump in on anything even when he may not know the subject matter. It's not a bad thing to have a real go getter in your corner. You can tone him down moreso by being a friend than you can h ignoring him. You also get to benefit but using his enthusiasm to allow you to spread your ideas.

Use this guy to help you. Enthusiasm at work is something that needs nurtured especially from a veteran coworker.

[packerbacker]

I have an Aunt and Uncle who are like that but this is outside of work so it may be off topic. My parents go to Arizona and they try to go to more tourism attractions to one up my parents. My parents got a new car and they got a new car right after, my folks got a new countertop and they got a new one right after. I mean they are always in competition with my parents. I would just let it go Weezy. Don't let him bother ya.

[HarleyDog]

Get him wasted. Always worked for me.

[Bengalzona]

(09-22-2017, 08:29 PM)Yojimbo Wrote: Welcome to work. We have to deal with all kinds of personalities at our workplaces. I deal with it by just accepting people are different from me and that’s ok. Could be he’s just trying to make a good impression since he’s new and he’ll chill once he feels more secure in his job.

(09-23-2017, 12:23 AM)StLucieBengal Wrote: I think you should befriend the guy.  Yes he is annoying but he has proven he will do anything and is willing to jump in on anything even when he may not know the subject matter.    It's not a bad thing to have a real go getter in your corner.    You can tone him down moreso by being a friend than you can h ignoring him.   You also get to benefit but using his enthusiasm to allow you to spread your ideas.    

Use this guy to help you.   Enthusiasm at work is something that needs nurtured especially from a veteran coworker.

Sound advice on both counts., and both have worked for me in the past.

In my experience, the guy who is trying the hardest to "put on a show" is generally the most insecure. And there are reasons for that insecurity. When you make an effort to befriend them, you can learn about what drives them. When you learn about what drives them, you can do one of two things: 1) You can help them with their insecurities and support them, or 2) You can betray them. I recommend the former. It is the wise move, good leadership, and you can develop a trusted friend and ally. Plan 1 works for the good of everyone. Plan 2 leaves you morally bankrupt and everyone mistrusts you (including yourself).

Ultimately, this isn't a test of what he can or can't do. It is a test of what you should or should not do.

[*bfine32*]

Tell him how you feel

[*michaelsean*]

(09-22-2017, 11:42 AM)WeezyBengal Wrote: I have worked at a company for nearly 9 years now. I do software development and we hired a guy about a year ago to do PC support. That guy has recently switched over to the dev world and has been doing it for about 3 months now.

To put it short, he is driving me insane. He is constantly trying to one up. He schedules meetings, sets up webinars, and basically tries to act like hes smarter/above everyone else. Almost like he runs the department.

For example yesterday he sent an email out trying to get people to go to this user group in Clifton. He was the only one that ended up going and this morning he sent notes out about it to everyone that couldn't make it. Its almost like he did it just to let everyone know that he attended and that he was better than us all.

I just walked over to ask my co worker a question that this guy has NO IDEA about and he tried to answer the question even though he is completely ignorant to what it was about. He got the question wrong, of course.

This guy is just driving me insane. Its like hes trying to compete with me and out do me in everything. How do you go about dealing with someone like this? I try to ignore it the best that I can but it just eats at you.

You think that's bad, I got two guys like that at work.

[grampahol]

One upper? I thought this thread was about dentures.. 
Just gaslight the guy.. Gaslighting is the practice of using stealth to drive someone else crazy.. Sometimes you just have to take preemptive measures and drive them crazy first.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting