If I had a hammer

[fredtoast]

I would NOT hammer in the morning.

Nor would I hammer all over this land.

There is no need for all of that.

[masonbengals fan]

But you're fine with an occasional evening hammering ?

[fredtoast]

I want to apologize for this thread.

I was hammered when I wrote it.

[Interceptor]

Just as long as you hammered out love between your brothers and your sisters.

[HarleyDog]

This song is now stuck in my mind the rest of the day. Damnit Fred.

[fredtoast]

(02-04-2022, 07:10 AM)Interceptor Wrote: Just as long as you hammered out love between your brothers and your sisters.

I live in Tennessee.

Not that hard to do down here.

[Bengalzona]

I used to work in Chicago in a department store. I used to work in Chicago. I don't work there anymore. A lady came in for a hammer, a hammer from the store. A hammer she wanted, but nailed she got.

I don't work there anymore.

[*Awful Llama*]

(02-04-2022, 08:58 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: This song is now stuck in my mind the rest of the day. Damnit Fred.

Well as long as we're talking all around it, I'll post this so the kids can have some context.  

This is my favorite version because it's more up-tempo.

[grampahol]

(02-05-2022, 01:03 AM)fredtoast Wrote: I live in Tennessee.

Not that hard to do down here.

You know what foreplay is in KY and TN?

pssst, sis...you awake? 
In some place foreplay is: Wake up you stupid mutt!  I'm referring to Drexel in the Dayton area for that one.. 

[grampahol]

A much more soulful version from Sam Cook..


 

And a rather lame version by Johnny Cash and June Carter.. 




...and let's not forget the version from Doctor Spock himself, Leonard Nimoy




I'm kind of surprised Captain Kirk, the master of murdering songs, William Shatner didn't leave his own mark on the song.. 

[*Awful Llama*]

(02-22-2022, 08:33 AM)grampahol Wrote: ...and let's not forget the version from Doctor Spock himself, Leonard Nimoy




I'm kind of surprised Captain Kirk, the master of murdering songs, William Shatner didn't leave his own mark on the song.. 

Sweet baby Jesus, that was horrible.  No, 'horrible' isn't quite the right sentiment. I think a small piece of my soul died.  Yes, that feels right.    

[*bfine32*]

(02-03-2022, 09:22 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I would NOT hammer in the morning.

Nor would I hammer all over this land.

There is no need for all of that.

I have a hammer and do some of my best hammering in the morning. 

[reuben.ahmed]

I use my nailgun at 2AM in the basement sometimes. Don't know how audible it is to the neighbor, but I am hammering all over that land.

[grampahol]

(02-23-2022, 08:29 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: Sweet baby Jesus, that was horrible.  No, 'horrible' isn't quite the right sentiment. I think a small piece of my soul died.  Yes, that feels right.    

I guess you missed all the Shatner renditions of every song he ever attempted.. He could make a bag of cats dying from being dropped from an airliner from a few hundred thousand feet sound downright musical.. 

[Tiger Teeth]

(02-03-2022, 09:22 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I would NOT hammer in the morning.

Nor would I hammer all over this land.

There is no need for all of that.

Would you hammer in a boat?

Would you hammer a goat?

Would wou hammer in a box?

Would you hammer a fox?

Or...would you hammer a gopher, instead?