Over/Under Humor

[spazz70]

Will Brinson from CBS had an article on Over/Under wins for the season and this snippet from his article on the Bengals is hilarious.

2017 Result (8.5): Under

The year is 2085 and nuclear winter has enveloped the country while zombies and robots roam the planet, trying to snuff out the remaining human life on Earth. Marvin Lewis is still Bengals coach.

[depthchart]

(05-01-2018, 05:50 PM)spazz70 Wrote: Will Brinson from CBS had an article on Over/Under wins for the season and this snippet from his article on the Bengals is hilarious.

2017 Result (8.5): Under

The year is 2085 and nuclear winter has enveloped the country while zombies and robots roam the planet, trying to snuff out the remaining human life on Earth. Marvin Lewis is still Bengals coach.

Only possible if they find a way to keep his head alive in a jar of fluid like on the cartoon Futurama. 

The Bengals national reputation by many seems to be dismissive about their chances to win with jokes sometimes coming at the Bengals expense.

I do think, however, that the roster has had enough improvements on offense and defense for this Bengal team to make some noise, surprise people and improve their reputation. 

Then be taken more seriously.

The additions of Glenn, Price and Jessie Bates III stand out to me with additional benefits likely coming from Hubbard, Malik Jefferson & hopefully some of the other draft choices as they develop. A healthy Tyler Eifert and John Ross would help also. New coaches with different & possibly better styles/schemes could have this team flying under the radar and then surprising people. If Pollack can kick start Joe Mixon into becoming a centerpiece star with better, more aggressive line play, this team could become potent.

A much improved under the radar dark horse with potential is how I see this team right now.

[grampahol]

I lieu of actually winning anything more than a few games a year perhaps the Bengals should just create and star in their own fictional league where they always win every championship game.  It's not as if there isn't already plenty of people and fans who think the league is already fictional at its roots and the league already rewrites story lines to entertain the masses.
Just think of the names of players we could invent and we could have our own play by play announcer, Biff Barf pickin them up and barfing them right back at you..
Quarterback Studly Doright... Running back Tony Touchdown and WR Dan Dropable.. 
Ok, it MIGHT not go over the way I'm envisioning.. 

[*PhilHos*]

(05-01-2018, 05:50 PM)spazz70 Wrote: Will Brinson from CBS had an article on Over/Under wins for the season and this snippet from his article on the Bengals is hilarious.

2017 Result (8.5): Under

The year is 2085 and nuclear winter has enveloped the country while zombies and robots roam the planet, trying to snuff out the remaining human life on Earth. Marvin Lewis is still Bengals coach.

Merv's playoff record by then: 0-65 

[leonardfan40]

(05-02-2018, 10:50 AM)depthchart Wrote: Only possible if they find a way to keep his head alive in a jar of fluid like on the cartoon Futurama. 

The Bengals national reputation by many seems to be dismissive about their chances to win with jokes sometimes coming at the Bengals expense.

I do think, however, that the roster has had enough improvements on offense and defense for this Bengal team to make some noise, surprise people and improve their reputation. 

Then be taken more seriously.

The additions of Glenn, Price and Jessie Bates III stand out to me with additional benefits likely coming from Hubbard, Malik Jefferson & hopefully some of the other draft choices as they develop. A healthy Tyler Eifert and John Ross would help also. New coaches with different & possibly better styles/schemes could have this team flying under the radar and then surprising people. If Pollack can kick start Joe Mixon into becoming a centerpiece star with better, more aggressive line play, this team could become potent.

A much improved under the radar dark horse with potential is how I see this team right now.

Mike Brown is too cheap to pony up for the jar needed to keep Marv’s head alive. Besides how could Marvin clap after every bad play if he’s just a head? Nah, Mike will just tie a couple strings to his hands and so he can make Marv clap and nobody will know the difference. Plus that way Mike won’t have to pay Marvin a salary... the more I think about it, Marv may want to watch his back around Mike...

[Hoofhearted]

Yeah, lots and lots of "odds-makers" are really slamming us. Granted, odds are like farting in a wind-storm.

[depthchart]

(05-02-2018, 03:09 PM)leonardfan40 Wrote: Mike Brown is too cheap to pony up for the jar needed to keep Marv’s head alive. Besides how could Marvin clap after every bad play if he’s just a head? Nah, Mike will just tie a couple strings to his hands and so he can make Marv clap and nobody will know the difference. Plus that way Mike won’t have to pay Marvin a salary... the more I think about it, Marv may want to watch his back around Mike...

I think the way it plays out is that the jar fluid technology is discovered just in time to keep Mike alive also with a buy 1 jar get 1 free deal negotiated by Mike. Marv then pays Mike for his extra jar.

Turns out that giggling is a necessary factor in keeping the heads alive so Mike has to start doing it often as well.

Big screens at the stadium show old footage of Marv clapping to cover that issue, with camera shots of his head in the jar giggling during games triggering the Big screen clap footage.

Players can then look at the clapping footage during games for motivation.

[yang]

(05-01-2018, 05:50 PM)spazz70 Wrote: Will Brinson from CBS had an article on Over/Under wins for the season and this snippet from his article on the Bengals is hilarious.

2017 Result (8.5): Under

The year is 2085 and nuclear winter has enveloped the country while zombies and robots roam the planet, trying to snuff out the remaining human life on Earth. Marvin Lewis is still Bengals coach as the city is still waiting for him to coach a playoff win.

Fixed.

[Neon Icon]

Me thinks our season will hinge on the health of Glenn and Eifert. Both have missed a lot of games over the past 2 years.

Glenns healthy now, but big 330 lb guys with foot issues don't always hold up well.