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So I'm writing a screenplay...
#61
(11-19-2017, 01:32 PM)jfkbengals Wrote: Not poisoned food, but poisoned beverages.  Antifreeze in sweet tea, to be exact.  As a going out of business sale, they will obviously be out of certain things, so the beverage options will be sweet tea, water, or coffee.  All you can eat is going to make you need a good amount of beverage to wash it all down.  Coffee and water drinkers wake up the next day, tea drinkers don't!

I like it.
http://www.reverbnation.com/leftyohio  singersongwriterrocknroll
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#62
I did not read the whole thread, but it sounds like you don't really have a story.  You need a conflict and a resolution.  

No matter how clever the deaths are it will get boring without a storyline being advanced.
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#63
(10-23-2017, 08:48 PM)oncemoreuntothejimbreech Wrote: I imagine Dale and Tucker vs. Evil meets The Hateful Eight and those two movies have an illegitimate love child; your manuscript.

Regarding how many deaths before it isn't funny: Everyone dies. Everyone.

When it comes down to the last two characters; one is killed and the other mortally wounded. The wounded character chains the case to their wrist, hops in a car and starts driving until the see the lights of a diner in the distance, pulls into the parking lot, struggles to a booth, inside the diner you got the same basic collection of characters in another BFE town as in the opening scene, before long they realize the stranger with the case is dead and someone asks, "I wonder what's in the case?"

Fade to black.

Rolling Stones Paint It Black plays as the credits roll.

This is not bad at all.
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