The Get Off My Lawn Vent about the 4th of July

[BengalHawk62]

This has been brewing for a few years, but I realized yesterday that Independence day is not my favorite U.S. Holiday. I feel very un-American so I have been faking it for years, but I will out myself.

1) It's on a specific date and not a Monday. So 3 out of 7 years it's in the middle of the week. All Fed/Bank holidays should be on Mondays or Fridays - easy boon to the economy as well.

July 4th on a Tuesday? - I stare at the walls and do laundry.
July 4th on a Monday? - I take a 3 day weekend somewhere: buy airfare, stay in hotels, eat in restaurants.

2) Fireworks ain't all that. Never truly got the appeal. If I'm outside on a muggy night where it's 85 degrees at 9pm and I am being eaten alive by mosquitoes...sure...better to watch fireworks than not. But I'd rather be inside saying "screw that".

3) Fireworks start late because...well...it's got to be dark. That means it totally screws doing anything else that night. 

4) Kids who are used to being sound asleep by 9:30 don't get to bed until 11pm. Self explanatory for any parent. This is a nightmare on the 4th and the next morning.

5) The next morning is a workday.

6) Sparklers suck. At least when I was a kid you could buy an illegal cherry bomb and your crazy uncle would blow stuff up. I was shooting bottle rockets at cars a few streets away from behind a tree when I was a teenager. Now you can get sparklers and roman candles and things that bounce.

7) The 4th of July is always hot. I don't like the outdoors when it's hot. I want to be in a pool or on a boat. I do not want to be walking around town or putting a lawn chair down for a band concert or waiting for fireworks.

8) No fun for pet owners. Heard the last distant firework go off at 3:00am. 


On the positive side, I do enjoy typical 4th of July food and grilling out. I like the patriotism. I just wish the founders had signed the Declaration of Independence on a Monday or a Friday in October.

[*Wyche'sWarrior*]

6.)  Whaaaaaattt? You can't get the good stuff in Iowa?  Man, we get the artillery shells and all around here. I even have a connection for next year for the 4" shells they let off at the "big shows".  That certainly makes it a bit more tolerable.

I agree, it should be situated around a weekend, and the dog doesn't know whether to shit or go blind (well, not now, she's almost deaf at 15), and screw that humid heat.....but otherwise, I try to do it up right.  Back when you couldn't get the good stuff here, we used to make trips to Tennessee to get it.

[Au165]

(07-06-2017, 02:24 PM)Wyche Wrote: 6.)  Whaaaaaattt? You can't get the good stuff in Iowa?  Man, we get the artillery shells and all around here. I even have a connection for next year for the 4" shells they let off at the "big shows".  That certainly makes it a bit more tolerable.

I agree, it should be situated around a holiday, and the dog doesn't know whether to shit or go blind (well, not now, she's almost deaf at 15), and screw that humid heat.....but otherwise, I try to do it up right.  Back when you couldn't get the good stuff here, we used to make trips to Tennessee to get it.

You're gonna stand there, ownin' a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser?

[BengalHawk62]

(07-06-2017, 02:33 PM)Au165 Wrote: You're gonna stand there, ownin' a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser?

Apparently you can get those whistlin' bungholes in Tennessee, Mr. Dirt.  :)


This is the first year Iowa has allowed fireworks.  So pretty much all day since Friday night, cuz Saturday and Sunday is the weekend, and no one worked on Monday and Tuesday was the actual 4th, the whole town sounded like WWIII had just started.  So for about 5 days straight fireworks until all hours of the day n night.  Whatever happened to being respectful and going around and telling your neighbors, "Hey we're having a few folks over tonight, we're gonna hoot n holla and drink some beers and blow some shit up tonight.  You and the old lady are more than welcome to stop over and partake in the shenanigans."   nope, not a peep.  I don't know.  the older I get the more I feel the world has changed or left me behind. 

And no one in town blew their fingers off like I was praying for starting around Sunday at 4pm.  Dammit!

[CageTheBengal]

As soon as I got a dog that was petrified of fireworks it pretty much turned into the day I have a 60 pound chicken following me around.

Couldn't imagine leaving her alone during all of the firework shows.

[grampahol]

Twere the night all the drunk, idiot parents let the little kids shoot off fireworks then have to go to the ER DRUNK and explain why they were stupid enough to let their 3 year old blow his fingers off and little Silly went blind..  Oh gosh..the good old days.. 

My favorite all time 4th was when my DUMBASS neighbor decided to use the hood of his new truck as a fireworks platform then tried to blame ME that his hood was burnt to a crisp.. lol 
WHY, he begged, DIDN'T I STOP HIM!??
Answer: I was inside watching TV..STFU..

[*Wyche'sWarrior*]

(07-06-2017, 02:53 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Apparently you can get those whistlin' bungholes in Tennessee, Mr. Dirt.  :)


This is the first year Iowa has allowed fireworks.  So pretty much all day since Friday night, cuz Saturday and Sunday is the weekend, and no one worked on Monday and Tuesday was the actual 4th, the whole town sounded like WWIII had just started.  So for about 5 days straight fireworks until all hours of the day n night.  Whatever happened to being respectful and going around and telling your neighbors, "Hey we're having a few folks over tonight, we're gonna hoot n holla and drink some beers and blow some shit up tonight.  You and the old lady are more than welcome to stop over and partake in the shenanigans."   nope, not a peep.  I don't know.  the older I get the more I feel the world has changed or left me behind. 

And no one in town blew their fingers off like I was praying for starting around Sunday at 4pm.  Dammit!

Yeah, that is bad.  We ALWAYS set them off on the weekend of the 4th, regardless what day the actual holiday falls on, so we are not disturbing people like ourselves that have to work during the week.  I don't have to ask my neighbors, all of my immediate ones are there.  We usually start around 930, and are finished no later than 1130.  We also do not get blind drunk and mess with this stuff.  It's dangerous enough as it is.  I enjoyed them as a kid, and now my kids enjoy them....and to me, that's what it's all about.

[rezolve11]

I've never been a big fan of the holiday myself. I understand!

[SunsetBengal]

Inre: Bengalhawk.. Get off my lawn?? Isn't that what Iowa fans have had to resort to pretty much since Hayden Frye was around? Lol, just had to poke at ya.

Anyway, now that the kids are grown, I don't get nearly as involved with the 4th of July antics, as I used to. Growing up in Ohio, we didn't have access to the "good stuff", but when I moved to 'Carolina? Whoo boy! Just load 'em up! I made sure that when my son was in his adolescent years, that he was fully trained in the do's and don'ts of fireworks. By the time he was 14, I bought enough stuff to make a small town VFD blush, and let him handle the show. He did great. Now, that he's almost 22, it's out of his system. He now just enjoys taking his young cousins to the local displays.

[*bfine32*]

I think there needs to be a revamping of many Holidays. They got Thanksgiving right. Always on a Thursday and makes for a true Holiday weekend, Independence Day should be the first Friday of July. I have read the 2 July is actually the day we declared our Independence.

[StoneTheCrow]

(07-07-2017, 11:04 PM)bfine32 Wrote: I think there needs to be a revamping of many Holidays. They got Thanksgiving right. Always on a Thursday and makes for a true Holiday weekend, Independence Day should be the first Friday of July. I have read the 2 July is actually the day we declared our Independence.

And the day after the Super Bowl should be a holiday. Ridiculous it's not.

[HarleyDog]

(07-08-2017, 10:17 AM)StoneTheCrow Wrote: And the day after the Super Bowl should be a holiday. Ridiculous it's not.

Totally agree. Wont happen though because baseball is considered Americas pastime and they simply cant make holidays over a series of games. A perfect solution would be to move the SB to Saturday night instead of late Sunday evening.

[Millhouse]

July 4th and Christmas are the two holidays that I wish could be celebrated on a fixed day of the week. A Christmas or the 4th on a Wednesday is the worst too. But both on a Friday are the best.

And before anyone cackles at Christmas on a fixed day, the 25th is nothing more than pure tradition. So change it to a Friday!

[StoneTheCrow]

(07-08-2017, 11:37 AM)Millhouse Wrote: July 4th and Christmas are the two holidays that I wish could be celebrated on a fixed day of the week. A Christmas or the 4th on a Wednesday is the worst too. But both on a Friday are the best.

And before anyone cackles at Christmas on a fixed day, the 25th is nothing more than pure tradition. So change it to a Friday!

Basically had two hangover Mondays last week. It hurt.

[xxlt]

(07-06-2017, 12:54 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: This has been brewing for a few years, but I realized yesterday that Independence day is not my favorite U.S. Holiday. I feel very un-American so I have been faking it for years, but I will out myself.

1) It's on a specific date and not a Monday. So 3 out of 7 years it's in the middle of the week. All Fed/Bank holidays should be on Mondays or Fridays - easy boon to the economy as well.

July 4th on a Tuesday? - I stare at the walls and do laundry.
July 4th on a Monday? - I take a 3 day weekend somewhere: buy airfare, stay in hotels, eat in restaurants.

2) Fireworks ain't all that. Never truly got the appeal. If I'm outside on a muggy night where it's 85 degrees at 9pm and I am being eaten alive by mosquitoes...sure...better to watch fireworks than not. But I'd rather be inside saying "screw that".

3) Fireworks start late because...well...it's got to be dark. That means it totally screws doing anything else that night. 

4) Kids who are used to being sound asleep by 9:30 don't get to bed until 11pm. Self explanatory for any parent. This is a nightmare on the 4th and the next morning.

5) The next morning is a workday.

6) Sparklers suck. At least when I was a kid you could buy an illegal cherry bomb and your crazy uncle would blow stuff up. I was shooting bottle rockets at cars a few streets away from behind a tree when I was a teenager. Now you can get sparklers and roman candles and things that bounce.

7) The 4th of July is always hot. I don't like the outdoors when it's hot. I want to be in a pool or on a boat. I do not want to be walking around town or putting a lawn chair down for a band concert or waiting for fireworks.

8) No fun for pet owners. Heard the last distant firework go off at 3:00am. 


On the positive side, I do enjoy typical 4th of July food and grilling out. I like the patriotism. I just wish the founders had signed the Declaration of Independence on a Monday or a Friday in October.

Sir, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find Rev. Billy C Wirz song "Get Off My Lawn" pronto.

Wait, here you go. There's a bit of an intro but trust me, it is worth the wait... Listen, rinse repeat:

[xxlt]

(07-06-2017, 02:33 PM)Au165 Wrote: You're gonna stand there, ownin' a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser?

I will never not laugh at husker dos, husker dont's. One of the greatest lines ever.

[xxlt]

(07-06-2017, 03:18 PM)CageTheBengal Wrote: As soon as I got a dog that was petrified of fireworks it pretty much turned into the day I have a 60 pound chicken following me around.

Couldn't imagine leaving her alone during all of the firework shows.

Ever tried a thunder shirt? https://www.amazon.com/ThunderShirt-Anxiety-Jacket-Heather-Large/dp/B0028QK6EY?psc=1&SubscriptionId=AKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q&tag=duckduckgo-ffsb-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B0028QK6EY

[CageTheBengal]

(07-08-2017, 12:13 PM)xxlt Wrote: Ever tried a thunder shirt? https://www.amazon.com/ThunderShirt-Anxiety-Jacket-Heather-Large/dp/B0028QK6EY?psc=1&SubscriptionId=AKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q&tag=duckduckgo-ffsb-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B0028QK6EY

No but I've seen them and would be willing to give it a try. I'm always a little skeptical of things I've seen being sold on TV but it'd be worth the chance. She stresses during thunderstorms too and as she gets older I worry about the toll that might have on her. She's not as bad as some dogs but you can tell she's stressing.

[xxlt]

(07-08-2017, 12:22 PM)CageTheBengal Wrote: No but I've seen them and would be willing to give it a try. I'm always a little skeptical of things I've seen being sold on TV but it'd be worth the chance. She stresses during thunderstorms too and as she gets older I worry about the toll that might have on her. She's not as bad as some dogs but you can tell she's stressing.

I'm really lucky, neither of my dogs ever reacted to noise. So much so, people say, "Is your dog deaf?" and I quietly say her name (both dogs female) and she looks at me and I say, "No, did you see that?"

So, no first hand experience, but I have heard many testimonials from owners who say the thunder shirt was a great buy and a life changer. Hell, they've got a money back guarantee, I hope you give it a try.

[HarleyDog]

Our dogs get so nervous during thunderstorms they will piss on the floor if we don't watch them close enough. But on a clear sunny day if you knock on the door you would think 2 very brave ferocious dogs on the other side. I've got to stop getting drunk before walking into a shelter to adopt a dog. Looking at these two, I may have accidentally adopted 2 very muscular cats. Lol