Viral video reignites corporal punishment school debate

[GMDino]

Quote:




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MONTICELLO, GA. - A young mother of two is accusing school administrators of abusing her five-year-old son in their attempts to paddle him on Wednesday.

The mother, Shana Marie Perez, posted video on her Facebook page of the principal and assistant principal of her son’s school, Jasper County Primary School in Monticello, trying to paddle him.

The boy resisted and struggled to avoid being spanked with a wooden paddle on his bottom.  It was the way that administrators tried to position him to receive the spanking that Perez believes constituted abuse.

Perez told 11Alive News that she has been in a long-running dispute with the principal over her son’s attendance this year.  She says he’s been out sick with a medical problem for a total of 18 days, so far this school year.  But she says the school had her arrested for truancy, accusing her of not having her son in school.

Perez says she is out of jail on bond, and on Wednesday was at the school when the administrators tried to paddle her son once, for a discipline issue.

According to Perez, the principal told her that if Perez tried to intervene, her son would be suspended, and Perez feared that if her son missed another day of school her bond would be revoked and she would have to go back to jail, miss work, and be unable to care for her children.

ew with mother of paddled child
So Perez pretended to text on her phone while the administrators were preparing to paddle her son, but she was really making a video of what they were doing, and that is the video that she posted on her Facebook page.



The video had been viewed about half-a-million times by Thursday afternoon, with hundreds of comments.

Perez says she has a meeting scheduled with administrators on Friday.  She told 11Alive News that at the beginning of the school year she signed a form stating that she was not giving the school permission to administer corporal punishment, but that administrators are saying they did have permission to do so.

Officials from the Jasper County Schools posted a statement on their website late Thursday in response to inquires about the incident: 

Quote: 
The Jasper County School District is aware of the video released by Ms. Perez. Unfortunately, the District is barred by State and Federal law from commenting about the specifics of this incident. The District respects every student's right to privacy. However, we can speak generally about the District's code of conduct which allows corporal punishment as one of the consequences for behavior. That code of conduct is provided to all parents. When corporal punishment is used, it is with parental consent. The District is investigating the incident and looking into its' discipline policies at this time.

http://www.11alive.com/news/education/viral-video-reignites-corporal-punishment-school-debate/133105594

[*Nately120*]

I never found a problem that couldn't be solved by hitting it.

[GMDino]

(04-19-2016, 03:58 PM)Nately120 Wrote: I never found a problem that couldn't be solved by hitting it.

Probably how she ended up with a kid in the first place.  

[Griever]

(04-19-2016, 04:04 PM)GMDino Wrote: Probably how she ended up with a kid in the first place.  

ba-dum tssss

[Benton]

I'm not a fan of it as it doesn't fix anything. At least it didn't with me growing up. Guilt was a better deterrent or an incentive.

But... this mom is a moron. If she was there and didn't intervene, that gives the administrators implied consent, regardless of what she signed. And if she was really worried about the kid, stop the paddling. If someone was going to do something I perceived that would harm one of my kids, I'd deal with that problem first and worry about the fallout later.

[Belsnickel]

(04-19-2016, 04:13 PM)Benton Wrote: I'm not a fan of it as it doesn't fix anything. At least it didn't with me growing up. Guilt was a better deterrent or an incentive.

But... this mom is a moron. If she was there and didn't intervene, that gives the administrators implied consent, regardless of what she signed. And if she was really worried about the kid, stop the paddling. If someone was going to do something I perceived that would harm one of my kids, I'd deal with that problem first and worry about the fallout later.

Yeah, my thoughts exactly. How about put down your ***** phone and stop the shit show?

[Au165]

Obviously, correcting behavior is best done by hitting people. That is why when you mess up at work your boss punches you, and when you get pulled over for speeding the cop slaps you. That is what I never understood about spanking, or any other form of physical punishment. If it is such a good option, why don't we continue it throughout life?

[GMDino]

(04-19-2016, 04:13 PM)Benton Wrote: I'm not a fan of it as it doesn't fix anything. At least it didn't with me growing up. Guilt was a better deterrent or an incentive.

But... this mom is a moron. If she was there and didn't intervene, that gives the administrators implied consent, regardless of what she signed. And if she was really worried about the kid, stop the paddling. If someone was going to do something I perceived that would harm one of my kids, I'd deal with that problem first and worry about the fallout later.

I can understand her hesitation though given the whole situation.

This wasn't me or you...this was a woman free on bond, worried about losing her job and her kid being told by the school they would suspend him and that would affect her and the child.

If I felt helpless to stop it I'd do the same and try to document it and then make my case when I was out of the situation.

[Benton]

(04-19-2016, 04:38 PM)GMDino Wrote: I can understand her hesitation though given the whole situation.

This wasn't me or you...this was a woman free on bond, worried about losing her job and her kid being told by the school they would suspend him and that would affect her and the child.

If I felt helpless to stop it I'd do the same and try to document it and then make my case when I was out of the situation.

I'd slap the principal and ask her how she liked it (location of said slap depends on the hotness), then take my kid and go buy him/her a beer.

[fredtoast]

I oppose corporal punishment, but this is not a good case against it.

This woman sounds like a complete loser and I'll bet she signed the consent form at the beginning of the year.  Most schools are very careful about paddling kids without parental consent.

And there is no way she would get arrested just because the school suspended her son.  The school can not punish a parent for not having her kid in school when the school is the one saying he can't be there.  She is a moron.

Parents get lots of chances to get their kids to school before they actually get arrested.  She sounds like a massive screw up to me.

And why was she at the school in the principals office when this paddling took pace?

[fredtoast]

Simple answer for all people who don't want thier kids paddled at school. Don't give consent for the school to do it.

[GMDino]

(04-19-2016, 04:41 PM)Benton Wrote: I'd slap the principal and ask her how she liked it (location of said slap depends on the hotness), then take my kid and go buy him/her a beer.

[Rotobeast]

(04-19-2016, 04:35 PM)Au165 Wrote: Obviously, correcting behavior is best done by hitting people. That is why when you mess up at work your boss punches you, and when you get pulled over for speeding the cop slaps you. That is what I never understood about spanking, or any other form of physical punishment. If it is such a good option, why don't we continue it throughout life?

Dunno.....I'm all for the continuation.
Let's get it on !
(nothing sexual, SCS & Benton)

[GMDino]

(04-19-2016, 04:35 PM)Au165 Wrote: Obviously, correcting behavior is best done by hitting people. That is why when you mess up at work your boss punches you, and when you get pulled over for speeding the cop slaps you. That is what I never understood about spanking, or any other form of physical punishment. If it is such a good option, why don't we continue it throughout life?

When our two kids were younger they got spanked if the were bad.  Not beat.  But a swat or two on the butt.

When they got a little older I would give them to the count of three before the spanking.  I don't think I ever got to three.

When they were a little bit older still I would just sarcastically say "Oh!  You want a spanking before you do what you were told to do anyway!"  Never had to spank them.

Our daughter was a door slammer when she got mad.  One day she yelled about something preteens yell about and stomped through the house.  As she got to her room I never looked up from the computer but calmly said "If you slam that door one more time it comes off the hinges and there will be no door to slam again...forever."  There was a second or two of silence and then a door quietly being shut.  

The last time I spanked either of them was probably 6 years ago or so.  Our daughter was being a real PITA and kept pushing and pushing. She was around 11 or 12 at the time.  We were in the kitchen and she was doing something by the fridge and I was behind her making a sandwich.  She dropped something and rather than squat down to get it she bent at the waist and the feeling just got the better of me and she got one stinging swat on the rear.  She stood straight up, her face went red and the tears started.  I apologized but told her she deserved it!  

I have relatives who never spanked...their kids can be quite the handful.  Very disrespectful.  I believe in a firm but fair hand early to straighten the course before it gets too far out of hand.  But by the parents.  Although I have told my parents and a few other relatives watching them when they were younger that if they required a spanking to let me know before they did it.  That involves a lot of trust though.

[Au165]

(04-19-2016, 11:03 PM)GMDino Wrote: When our two kids were younger they got spanked if the were bad.  Not beat.  But a swat or two on the butt.

When they got a little older I would give them to the count of three before the spanking.  I don't think I ever got to three.

When they were a little bit older still I would just sarcastically say "Oh!  You want a spanking before you do what you were told to do anyway!"  Never had to spank them.

Our daughter was a door slammer when she got mad.  One day she yelled about something preteens yell about and stomped through the house.  As she got to her room I never looked up from the computer but calmly said "If you slam that door one more time it comes off the hinges and there will be no door to slam again...forever."  There was a second or two of silence and then a door quietly being shut.  

The last time I spanked either of them was probably 6 years ago or so.  Our daughter was being a real PITA and kept pushing and pushing. She was around 11 or 12 at the time.  We were in the kitchen and she was doing something by the fridge and I was behind her making a sandwich.  She dropped something and rather than squat down to get it she bent at the waist and the feeling just got the better of me and she got one stinging swat on the rear.  She stood straight up, her face went red and the tears started.  I apologized but told her she deserved it!  

I have relatives who never spanked...their kids can be quite the handful.  Very disrespectful.  I believe in a firm but fair hand early to straighten the course before it gets too far out of hand.  But by the parents.  Although I have told my parents and a few other relatives watching them when they were younger that if they required a spanking to let me know before they did it.  That involves a lot of trust though.

It is interesting. As you pointed out, later in life you didn't even need to reference physical pain as a way to get them to correct their behavior. My issue with spanking is how can you tell a kid as they grow up, don't hit someone just because they don't do what you want.....then hit them for not doing what you want them to do. I just think it sends a sometimes confusing message to kids. Like you said, I know people who spank and their kids are complete A**holes and they just have to keep spanking away. I know ones who don't spank and their kids are fine. I don't think casual observations by any of us show one works better than the other. I think both routes work, it's just a matter of how you want to approach it.

[fredtoast]

To me there is ONE big rule to corporal punishment, and it is harder to follow than many want to admit.

Most of the time when a child has done something bad enough that you feel they need a spanking you are very angry.  And the worst thing you can do is spank a child when you are in a rage.  The only way corporal punishment will work properly is if you are able to do it in a cool and controlled manner.  Otherwise you are just sending the message that it is okay to hit someone when you lose tour temper.

The child has to be able to see the difference between "punishment to enforce legitimate rules" and "hitting someone when you get mad".  And this is where most parents fail when it comes to corporal punishment.

[GMDino]

(04-20-2016, 09:02 AM)Au165 Wrote: It is interesting. As you pointed out, later in life you didn't even need to reference physical pain as a way to get them to correct their behavior. My issue with spanking is how can you tell a kid as they grow up, don't hit someone just because they don't do what you want.....then hit them for not doing what you want them to do. I just think it sends a sometimes confusing message to kids. Like you said, I know people who spank and their kids are complete A**holes and they just have to keep spanking away. I know ones who don't spank and their kids are fine. I don't think casual observations by any of us show one works better than the other. I think both routes work, it's just a matter of how you want to approach it.

And that is why I seldom if ever criticize another parent's "style" of parenting.  All I can do is judge the outcome.

(04-20-2016, 10:33 AM)fredtoast Wrote: To me there is ONE big rule to corporal punishment, and it is harder to follow than many want to admit.

Most of the time when a child has done something bad enough that you feel they need a spanking you are very angry.  And the worst thing you can do is spank a child when you are in a rage.  The only way corporal punishment will work properly is if you are able to do it in a cool and controlled manner.  Otherwise you are just sending the message that it is okay to hit someone when you lose tour temper.

The child has to be able to see the difference between "punishment to enforce legitimate rules" and "hitting someone when you get mad".  And this is where most parents fail when it comes to corporal punishment.

The last time I spanked my daughter I was angry.  And I felt very bad about it because I was angry.  But I whenever I tell that story I look back and realize I showed immense control up to that point AND after.  

And she knows she deserved it!  LOL!

[Rotobeast]

I spank my daughter (rarely).
I think it is important to hug them afterwards and explain exactly why (or have them explain why) the situation came to that and discuss the possible negative outcomes of unruly behavior.
I always tell her that I love her and do not want to do it, but it's because of that love that I need to make sure that she makes good choices.