What do you look for in an offensive lineman?

[fredtoast]

I think we need more O-linemen with corn in their bed.  Those of the kind of guys you see on championship teams.

The nail-in-the-peehole type.

Not afraid to take a stick to a gopher.

[phil413]

They have to win their household's feat of strength to end a season of Festivus. Then if they can find the marble in the oatmeal they can cool off with a drink from the firehose. If they can't do both, they can't make it.

[fredtoast]

The best way to tell which players will make the best blockers is to watch how they change the batteries in a flashlight.

[SladeX]

Does he eat glass?

[Joelist]

https://youtu.be/GOJoLaxokzM

[Bengalstripes9]

I would rank strength highest, because without it you don’t have a chance. I would then say balance needs to be factored in with strength. Technique obviously is crucial as well. But you can have the best technique in the world and if you aren’t strong enough, you lose. By the same token, you can be the strongest guy in the world and suck if you don’t have good balance and technique. You really need all three. Intelligence is also a huge plus for any player.

[*Go Cards*]

Judge them by their beer bellies personally.

[Bilbo Saggins]

Gourdes in the barn.  More than he knows what to do with.

And a nice ass. 

...And by that I do mean a Donkey in his possession.


Broad jumps and oddly enough 40 times can be good indicators of physical ceiling.  Broad jump measurements are to humans what "cold cranking power" measurements are to car batteries.  When a 300-330 lb. fella can get all of their muscles working at once to produce a good broad jump...whoo hum dingy.  Ding dang dogs.  Or something like that.  I don't get the 40 times, but there's something to it.  Jonah had a great 40.  A lot of all pro type of guys registered good broad jumps and 40 times.


Oh **** it all.  Let's just get down to all that really matters: ARM LENGTH.  I want OL with the cro-magnon knuckles that literally drag on the ground.  I want OL like gumby.  Inspector f***ing gadget.  I want OL who look like they don't have any shins.  

[BurrowTheGoat]

I look for Andrew Whitworth.

[Rotobeast]

If they happen to be related to Big Jim Slade, they're a lock.

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[Tony]

As Kevin would say... "Blocking"...

[Tony]

(08-24-2022, 12:48 AM)fredtoast Wrote: The best way to tell which players will make the best blockers is to watch how they change the batteries in a flashlight.

That hasn't seemed to work out so far. I think Lael Collins got some in his back somehow....

[gman657]

Is this meant to be funny or a genuine question?

[740Bengal]

(08-24-2022, 12:30 AM)fredtoast Wrote: I think we need more O-linemen with corn in their bed.  Those of the kind of guys you see on championship teams.

The nail-in-the-peehole type.

Not afraid to take a stick to a gopher.

One a little more concerned about working hard than making cauliflower pizza. 

[OBX Bengal]

I judge them by how they handle a ketchup bottle.

[TheFan]

Does he have shit in his neck?

[BigPapaKain]

(08-24-2022, 02:17 AM)Bengalstripes9 Wrote: I would rank strength highest, because without it you don’t have a chance. I would then say balance needs to be factored in with strength. Technique obviously is crucial as well. But you can have the best technique in the world and if you aren’t strong enough, you lose. By the same token, you can be the strongest guy in the world and suck if you don’t have good balance and technique. You really need all three. Intelligence is also a huge plus for any player.

I've moved guys bigger and stronger than me by getting under their leverage point and moving them up and away.

Strength is important, sure - but technique is key.

[SladeX]

(08-24-2022, 04:30 AM)Rotobeast Wrote: If they happen to be related to Big Jim Slade, they're a lock.

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So I’m in, then!

(Doubt KFM gets made today. Hilariously “incorrect”)

[Ctfan73]

They’ve got to have sand in their craw.

[XenoMorph]

(08-24-2022, 01:14 AM)SladeX Wrote: Does he eat glass?

this causes Digestion issues