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Worst name for a business?
#1
What is the worst name for a business? Please note if your nominee is a real business or a made up one. For example, I think Lard Lad is a great name for a doughnut shop, but it is also a fictitious name - from The Simpsons.

So, worst name for a business, real or fake?

Real I am going to go with, "Ruth's Chris Steak House." Someone else lays out the case for my nominee here:

http://noellehancock.blogspot.com/2008/02/because-ruths-retardedly-named.html

Here is what Noelle had to say in that little diatribe:

Because "Ruth's Retardedly Named Steak House" Was Already Taken?


I’ve always had a violent reaction to the meathouse franchise name Ruth’s Chris Steak House. What the hell does that even mean? How does one have a “Chris” steak house? Since when is Chris an adjective? What makes you so special, Chris??? My girl Skyler and I recently delved into our ex archives and determined that between the two of us, we’d dated nine Chrises over the years and all of them sucked. This led us to make the sweeping generalization that all Chrises are terrible. See, the equation goes like this:

Christ - Chris = T.
Therefore: T minus Christ = negative Chris
So if T equals time, between now and the time of Christ, the world has consisted of negative Chrises. One might even say that they are the Anti-Christ. Especially if you’re me, you would say that.

Listen, I don't make the rules. If you don't believe me, check out this website for the Ruth's Chris Steak House in Toronto with the disturbing sound of sizzling meat playing on a loop in the background. If that's not the very sound of Hell, you need to revisit the Book of Revelation, friend.

My brother Jeff had this to say about it: “I think everyone understands that name to be fundamentally wrong and upsetting. It's the unspoken thread that holds modern American culture together.”

And so I present Alternate Names For Ruth's Chris Steak House courtesy of McSweeney's:

Lil's Sam Steak House
Nellie's Ray Steak House
Mabel's Steve Steak House
Esther's Carl Steak House
Sara's Bill Steak House
Roxy's Bert Steak House
Kate's Keith Steak House
Hallie's Tom: A Place for Steak
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
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#2
Smokin' Butt.....a real BBQ joint, I shit you not. Mellow


BBQ aficionados get the gist, but to the casual passerby?  Not so sure.

"Better send those refunds..."

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#3
(03-22-2017, 04:04 PM)Wyche Wrote: Smokin' Butt.....a real BBQ joint, I shit you not. Mellow


BBQ aficionados get the gist, but to the casual passerby?  Not so sure.

Interesting results in that google image search.
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
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#4
There is a Japanese place across the street from my house.

It's called Shiitake but the font is tough to read. If you look casually at it, it looks like Shitface. So I call it Shitface.
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#5
(03-22-2017, 04:48 PM)bengal_fan_in_toronto Wrote: There is a Japanese place across the street from my house.  

It's called Shiitake but the font is tough to read.  If you look casually at it, it looks like Shitface.  So I call it Shitface.

I gotta ask. How does it look when you're shitfaced?

You should write a Yelp review of it... "So, I was shitfaced a few nights ago and so I wouldn't have to drive I walked across the street to this place called Shitface. The menu said most of the foods included shitface in them, so I knew I had come to the right place!..."
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
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#6
(03-22-2017, 04:19 PM)xxlt Wrote: Interesting results in that google image search.



Of that, I have no doubt!  I stumbled across it on Facebook.

"Better send those refunds..."

[Image: 4CV0TeR.png]
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#7
(03-22-2017, 04:19 PM)xxlt Wrote: Interesting results in that google image search.

I found this one hilarious!

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#8
http://www.coxssmokeoutlet.com/

Cox's Smokers
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#9
Wang...which was a computer company. Was a Chinese family's name, but still....

I believe it is defunct now, unable to attain market penetration
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#10
There's a comedy club in Buffalo called The G Spot. Or, maybe that's a good name. It doesn't matter, I hear it's hard as hell to even find the place.
“We're 2-7!  What the **** difference does it make?!” - Bruce Coslet
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#11
I don't know if you'd call it bad...  or funny(which I found it to be).

There is a storage place in town called Kram-It.

Here's the sign.

[Image: wxczayGD4Q6ZGxPxNXAKpwctes6Al1jjqNvWhYHm...75ffffffff]
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#12
Try My Nuts


It's around the corner from my work. As I'm afraid to find out, I do not know if they sell cashews or testicles.
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#13
(03-22-2017, 07:46 PM)bfine32 Wrote: http://www.coxssmokeoutlet.com/

Cox's Smokers

Saw that place in Louisville.



- - - - - - - - - - 
Fake:
[Image: hqdefault.jpg]



Real:
I saw a Bar-B-Q place called "The Meat Pit" once. Even more hilarious, it was "Closed for Plumbing" at the time.
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#14
(03-22-2017, 09:01 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: There's a comedy club in Buffalo called The G Spot.  Or, maybe that's a good name.  It doesn't matter, I hear it's hard as hell to even find the place.

Strip club here has same name, and is also really difficult to access. Hilarious
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
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#15
(03-23-2017, 02:09 AM)xxlt Wrote: Strip club here has same name, and is also really difficult to access. Hilarious

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#16
There's a new donut shop that just opened up here in West Des Moines called Hurts Donut Company.  They actually have good donuts, pricey but good.

http://www.hurtsdonutco.com/


Come to find out, they are a chain out of Mizzu that is expanding into different states.  Maybe someday Cincy will be lucky enough to get a Hurts Donut shop in town. 
[Image: Zu8AdZv.png?1]
Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female, Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.

[Image: 4CV0TeR.png]

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#17
(03-23-2017, 12:59 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: There's a new donut shop that just opened up here in West Des Moines called Hurts Donut Company.  They actually have good donuts, pricey but good.

http://www.hurtsdonutco.com/


Come to find out, they are a chain out of Mizzu that is expanding into different states.  Maybe someday Cincy will be lucky enough to get a Hurts Donut shop in town. 

Saw a bumper sticker on a car today for the Stinky Fingers Bait Company.
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
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#18
I don't know how bad it is, but Kum & Go always made me laugh. I used to have several lighters from them that I would take to parties back when I was a smoker. I think part of the humor I found in the name had to do with an activity I participated in at such an establishment.
"A great democracy has got to be progressive, or it will soon cease to be either great or a democracy..." - TR

"The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little." - FDR
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#19
(03-23-2017, 04:46 PM)Belsnickel Wrote: I don't know how bad it is, but Kum & Go always made me laugh. I used to have several lighters from them that I would take to parties back when I was a smoker. I think part of the humor I found in the name had to do with an activity I participated in at such an establishment.

Please tell me there isn't a sheisse video of you out there. That's what this ^ sounded like. Nervous
JOHN ROBERTS: From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice... I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
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#20
(03-23-2017, 04:48 PM)xxlt Wrote: Please tell me there isn't a sheisse video of you out there. That's what this ^ sounded like. Nervous

Definitely not. No one wants to see video of me in any porn, let alone Schieße porn.
"A great democracy has got to be progressive, or it will soon cease to be either great or a democracy..." - TR

"The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little." - FDR
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