+- Cincinnati Bengals Message Board / Forums - Home of Jungle Noise (http://thebengalsboard.com)
+-- Forum: Off Topic Forums (http://thebengalsboard.com/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums)
+--- Forum: Politics & Religion 2.0 (http://thebengalsboard.com/Forum-Politics-Religion-2-0)
+---- Forum: P & R Archive (http://thebengalsboard.com/Forum-P-R-Archive)
+---- Thread: Parable Corner (/Thread-Parable-Corner)
Pages:
1
2
Parable Corner - xxlt - 06-17-2017
I really dug the way Jesus and many other teachers used to use parables to illustrate their teachings.
So, I thought it would be fun to share parables we had written ourselves, or favorite parables from other teachers or writers. People are welcome to discuss the parables as they see fit.
I'll start it off with one I wrote:
A Parable
Joe and Mary lived in Shelbyville for 8 years. Then they moved to Springfield. It was an exciting time. Their new neighbor was a man named Bob. They acknowledged each other as new neighbors do.
Each afternoon Bob would sit on his deck and read. When he walked onto or off of the deck or looked up from his book he could not help but see into his new neighbor’s yard, and each day there was Mary having intercourse with a man with long dark dark hair – the same man every day, who was most definitely not her husband Joe, who had short blonde hair.
Bob ignored this for several months. It was none of his business. Maybe Joe and Mary had an open relationship. But finally one day his conscious wouldn’t let up so he flagged down Joe in the driveway and said, “Look we don’t know each other that well, and it’s none of my business – maybe you and Mary have an open marriage – but I just thought you should know – if you don’t already - that she has sex out in your yard every afternoon with some guy with long dark hair. I just thought you should know.” Bob turned to walk away, taking no pleasure in having delivered the painful news, but hoping he had done the right thing.
Joe called after him to come back. Bob went back to where Joe was standing. Joe said, “Bob, as a matter of fact we don’t have an open marriage, and I want to thank you for telling me about this man who is fornicating with my wife. I was not aware of it. But let me tell you what I am really sore about. For the last eight years when we lived over in Shelbyville she was fornicating every day with some bald-headed son of a *****. Now, let me tell you about that!” Joe proceeded each day to tell Bob more details from the sad story of how his marriage was compromised by the 8-year affair with the bald-headed man in Shelbyville, all the while ignoring the affair Mary was now having with the man with long dark hair in Springfield.
Draw your own conclusions.
RE: Parable Corner - SunsetBengal - 06-17-2017
So, what was the moral of the story supposed to be?
RE: Parable Corner - HarleyDog - 06-17-2017
(06-17-2017, 10:06 AM)SunsetBengal Wrote: So, what was they moral of the story supposed to be?
A ho is a ho no matter where you take her slurping ass!
RE: Parable Corner - Millhouse - 06-17-2017
That bald guys get lucky like long haired ones?
RE: Parable Corner - Yojimbo - 06-17-2017
(06-17-2017, 11:30 AM)Millhouse Wrote: That bald guys get lucky like long haired ones?
Not true. Trust me.
RE: Parable Corner - Benton - 06-17-2017
The moral of the story: the grass is always greener.
And so is your penis when your cheating wife brings home the clap.
RE: Parable Corner - HarleyDog - 06-17-2017
Grass isnt usually greener, you just tend to favor someone else's situation when yours sucks at that moment in time. Everyone has bullshit in their lives. Changing the scenery without changing the substance leaves you prettier shit, but it's still shit.
I once had a wife that cheated. We got divorced and several months later she came to me pleading for my forgiveness and that she had made the worst decision of her life. Since we had a daughter together, I saw this as a chance to be back in her daily life again. My heart said dont trust her, but was blinded because I wanted back in my daughters life more than just an every other weekend scenario.
***** cheated 3 weeks after I took her back. That was 20yrs ago. Karma made her ugly and fat. I however, am the guy now, I would have envied back then. My grass became greener because I took the shit and fertilized my grass. I learned and grew wiser. Now I have the best, beautiful wife and family I could only have dreamed about and a pretty nice yard.
RE: Parable Corner - Dill - 06-17-2017
(06-17-2017, 08:40 AM)xxlt Wrote: I really dug the way Jesus and many other teachers used to use parables to illustrate their teachings.
So, I thought it would be fun to share parables we had written ourselves, or favorite parables from other teachers or writers. People are welcome to discuss the parables as they see fit.
I'll start it off with one I wrote:
A Parable
Joe and Mary lived in Shelbyville for 8 years. Then they moved to Springfield. It was an exciting time. Their new neighbor was a man named Bob. They acknowledged each other as new neighbors do.
Each afternoon Bob would sit on his deck and read. When he walked onto or off of the deck or looked up from his book he could not help but see into his new neighbor’s yard, and each day there was Mary having intercourse with a man with long dark dark hair – the same man every day, who was most definitely not her husband Joe, who had short blonde hair.
Bob ignored this for several months. It was none of his business. Maybe Joe and Mary had an open relationship. But finally one day his conscious wouldn’t let up so he flagged down Joe in the driveway and said, “Look we don’t know each other that well, and it’s none of my business – maybe you and Mary have an open marriage – but I just thought you should know – if you don’t already - that she has sex out in your yard every afternoon with some guy with long dark hair. I just thought you should know.” Bob turned to walk away, taking no pleasure in having delivered the painful news, but hoping he had done the right thing.
Joe called after him to come back. Bob went back to where Joe was standing. Joe said, “Bob, as a matter of fact we don’t have an open marriage, and I want to thank you for telling me about this man who is fornicating with my wife. I was not aware of it. But let me tell you what I am really sore about. For the last eight years when we lived over in Shelbyville she was fornicating every day with some bald-headed son of a *****. Now, let me tell you about that!” Joe proceeded each day to tell Bob more details from the sad story of how his marriage was compromised by the 8-year affair with the bald-headed man in Shelbyville, all the while ignoring the affair Mary was now having with the man with long dark hair in Springfield.
Draw your own conclusions.
I conclude it was a political parable. Someone is still criticizing Obama.
RE: Parable Corner - Nebuchadnezzar - 06-17-2017
What does today have to do with Gerrald Ford and Billy Carter?
RE: Parable Corner - Westwood Bengal - 06-17-2017
My favorite parable (by DFW, a favorite author of mine):
There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet
an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says
"Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a
bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes
"What the hell is water?"
RE: Parable Corner - SunsetBengal - 06-17-2017
There once was a man from Peru
He fell asleep in his canoe...
RE: Parable Corner - Westwood Bengal - 06-17-2017
(06-17-2017, 05:47 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: There once was a man from Peru
He fell asleep in his canoe...
Get that limerick out of here.....
RE: Parable Corner - Dill - 06-17-2017
(06-17-2017, 05:44 PM)Westwood Bengal Wrote: My favorite parable (by DFW, a favorite author of mine):
There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet
an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says
"Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a
bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes
"What the hell is water?"
LOL another good political parable.
RE: Parable Corner - Nebuchadnezzar - 06-17-2017
Ok ok, I'll finish the parable
So Bob calls Joes old neighbor in Shelbyville named Tom and Tom says, "I know, Joe is weird like that, he has always been and always will be like that. Here's the kicker though, it's the same guy she's cheating with, he lives in their basement. Seriously, it's the same guy. He just wears different wigs."
RE: Parable Corner - ballsofsteel - 06-17-2017
Howdy fellows.
A bull and his son came upon a field full of cows. Jr. said "hey dad, lets run down there and F one of those cows". Dad replied, "son how about we walk down there and F them all".
RE: Parable Corner - HarleyDog - 06-17-2017
(06-17-2017, 07:43 PM)ballsofsteel Wrote: Howdy fellows.
A bull and his son came upon a field full of cows. Jr. said "hey dad, lets run down there and F one of those cows". Dad replied, "son how about we walk down there and F them all".
Robert Duval in "colors!" Took me awhile to get that back then.
RE: Parable Corner - wildcats forever - 06-17-2017
(06-17-2017, 07:43 PM)ballsofsteel Wrote: Howdy fellows.
A bull and his son came upon a field full of cows. Jr. said "hey dad, lets run down there and F one of those cows". Dad replied, "son how about we walk down there and F them all".
It's 'parable', not pair of bulls
RE: Parable Corner - ballsofsteel - 06-18-2017
(06-17-2017, 11:10 PM)wildcats forever Wrote: It's 'parable', not pair of bulls
Opps, sorry, my bad!
RE: Parable Corner - michaelsean - 06-19-2017
Well my life has changed after reading this thread. Benton's green penis really did a number on me.
RE: Parable Corner - Bengalzona - 06-19-2017
There once was a man from Kent, whose d**k was so long it was bent. But he got into trouble when he stuck it in double and instead of c**ming, he went.