Cincinnati Bengals Message Board / Forums - Home of Jungle Noise
The Bacon Tree - Printable Version

+- Cincinnati Bengals Message Board / Forums - Home of Jungle Noise (http://thebengalsboard.com)
+-- Forum: Off Topic Forums (http://thebengalsboard.com/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums)
+--- Forum: Klotsch (http://thebengalsboard.com/Forum-Klotsch)
+--- Thread: The Bacon Tree (/Thread-The-Bacon-Tree)

Pages: 1 2 3

The Bacon Tree - BFritz21 - 06-11-2018

Lighten up the mood a bit on a Monday........

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.

They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell.

Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."

With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?

We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon?

Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.

He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly
a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.

Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:
"Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis... miamigo, what ees it?"

"Pepe ees not a bacon tree.
Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees... a ham bush."

SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this.
Just couldn't help it!

Little voices made me do it!

And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you?

RE: The Bacon Tree - Sabretooth - 06-12-2018

Best joke that will not be repeated

RE: The Bacon Tree - fredtoast - 06-12-2018

(06-12-2018, 12:59 AM)Sabretooth Wrote: Best joke that will not be repeated

I'll repeat it.  Just remove all the racist bull crap.  It is still a clever pun.

RE: The Bacon Tree - grampahol - 06-14-2018

There goes about 15 seconds of reading time I'll never get back .

RE: The Bacon Tree - BFritz21 - 06-14-2018

(06-12-2018, 12:18 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I'll repeat it.  Just remove all the racist bull crap.  It is still a clever pun.

What racist bull crap?

This should be entertaining because Fred’s trying to paint me as racist with his typical empty rhetoric.

RE: The Bacon Tree - Sabretooth - 06-14-2018

(06-14-2018, 09:46 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: What racist bull crap?

This should be entertaining because Fred’s trying to paint me as racist with his typical empty rhetoric.

Fred is not guilty of painting you as a racist, brother Brad, it was the joke that began with " two Mexicans ".
Hard nowadays to be PC.

RE: The Bacon Tree - XenoMorph - 06-14-2018

(06-14-2018, 09:46 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: What racist bull crap?

This should be entertaining because Fred’s trying to paint me as racist with his typical empty rhetoric.

you don't think making fun of two Mexican's is the least bit racist? 

I understand its a joke...  But many jokes are slightly racist.

RE: The Bacon Tree - fredtoast - 06-14-2018

(06-14-2018, 02:51 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: you don't think making fun of two Mexican's is the least bit racist? 

I understand its a joke...  But many jokes are slightly racist.

Not just Mexicans, but illegal border crossing Mexicans.

What did that detail add to the joke?

RE: The Bacon Tree - Interceptor - 06-14-2018

I'm wondering if this Mexican actress is feeling insulted everytime Jack Black speaks.....





RE: The Bacon Tree - fredtoast - 06-14-2018

Here is a funny joke.

One time there were two white slave owners who always got together to rape and brutalize their favorite female slaves.

While one was raping his favorite teenage negro he said "I have finally started writing that book about clocks."

The other who was bullwhipping his slave to a bloody pulp said "It's about time."

RE: The Bacon Tree - Tiger Teeth - 06-14-2018

This is one bizarre thread.

RE: The Bacon Tree - bfine32 - 06-14-2018

(06-14-2018, 05:00 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Not just Mexicans, but illegal border crossing Mexicans.

What did that detail add to the joke?

Most likely explained why they were in the dessert with no support system.

As to the joke. It was funny, I think the accent made the joke. Any further discussions of racism belongs in PnR.

RE: The Bacon Tree - HarleyDog - 06-14-2018

White jokes matter:

What is the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish Sheppard?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud" and a Scottish Sheppard says "Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe."
..........................."....................................................................
how do you kill a white chick?

put spikes on her shoulders and ask her a question.
................................................................................................

What is 12 inches long and white?

Nothing


Ninja

RE: The Bacon Tree - BFritz21 - 06-14-2018

(06-14-2018, 05:00 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Not just Mexicans, but illegal border crossing Mexicans.

What did that detail add to the joke?

Did it say all Mexicans are illegal border crossers?

RE: The Bacon Tree - Tiger Teeth - 06-14-2018

I feel a thread lock down, or deletion coming soon.

RE: The Bacon Tree - HarleyDog - 06-14-2018

(06-14-2018, 09:29 PM)Tiger Teeth Wrote: I feel a thread lock down, or deletion coming soon.

It’s really not P&R material. It’s just jokes and even though they are color coded, their not racist. So here’s one for ya:

So what do you call a tiger running a copy machine?

A copy cat.

[Image: hqdefault.jpg]

RE: The Bacon Tree - bfine32 - 06-14-2018

(06-14-2018, 10:48 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: It’s really not P&R material. It’s just jokes and even though they are color coded, their not racist. So here’s one for ya:

So what do you call a tiger running a copy machine?

A copy cat.
Let's try this one:

What's the difference between a bunch of smart midgets and a women's track team?

RE: The Bacon Tree - HarleyDog - 06-14-2018

(06-14-2018, 10:55 PM)bfine32 Wrote: Let's try this one:

What's the difference between a bunch of smart midgets and a women's track team?

I googled it. LOL

RE: The Bacon Tree - michaelsean - 06-15-2018

The joke never actually says they crossed illegally. Brad just change it to their car broke down in the desert.

RE: The Bacon Tree - BFritz21 - 06-15-2018

(06-14-2018, 05:00 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Not just Mexicans, but illegal border crossing Mexicans.

What did that detail add to the joke?

When did it say they crossed illegally?