(09-20-2019, 04:47 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Bengals at Bills
Dalton. Goes. Off. Frustrated by the lack of a running game to offset the passing game, Dalton takes matters into his own hands and sets an NFL record RUSHING for 324 yards and half a TD. Not to be outdone, Dalton throws for a pedestrian 600 yards and 5 TDs.

Mixon and Gio both throw TD passes since they are unable to run the ball in.

Buffalo seeing this offensive display ends up seeing every player taking a dive, faking an injury. Buffalo mounts a comeback as they field a team filled with drunk fans, but alas they fall short.

Cincinnati wins 52.5 to 10

Ravens at Chiefs
Laughter fills the air as all the fans at Arrowhead and even the announcers find it side-splitting hilarious when the Ravens come out hyped and thinking they have a chance at winning the game.

Patrick Mahomes completes 100% of his passes while throwing 8 TDs and EVERY SINGLE PASS he throws, he does it while looking directly at Lamar Jackson. Jackson tries to do the same thing but because he's only a RB pretending to be a QB, he ends up throwing 4 INTs before he decides to try looking where he's throwing.

After going into halftime leading 105 to -7, the Chiefs decide to cut the Ravens some slack and play Len Dawson at QB for the 2nd half (Len came out of retirement for 1 day just for this game). Len ends up throwing for 5 more TDs as the Chiefs go on to win the game with a final score of 140 to 0.75

SHITsburgh at San Francisco
At first, Mason Rudolph plays like an actual QB and the game is close going into the half (score is 10-7 SF leading). After halftime, it's revealed that Ben Roethlisberger had raped, bound and gagged Garrapolo and raped him again before donning Jimmy's jersey and playing for San Fran intentionally playing poorly to try to help the Steelers win. He was discovered in the lockerroom trying to rape the water fountain ("It wanted me. Bad" Ben would later remark. Grammar Nazis everywhere cringed)

Garrapolo starts the 2nd half and proceeds to throw 4 TDs and 4 INTs. Interestingly enough, on every Garofalo INT, the Steelers fumble the ball right back after losing yardage on the INT return.

Chiefs win 38-7

Rams at Browns
Browns suck. They will lose infinity to zero.

(09-20-2019, 04:47 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Bengals at Bills
Dalton. Goes. Off. Frustrated by the lack of a running game to offset the passing game, Dalton takes matters into his own hands and sets an NFL record RUSHING for 324 yards and half a TD. Not to be outdone, Dalton throws for a pedestrian 600 yards and 5 TDs.

Mixon and Gio both throw TD passes since they are unable to run the ball in.

Buffalo seeing this offensive display ends up seeing every player taking a dive, faking an injury. Buffalo mounts a comeback as they field a team filled with drunk fans, but alas they fall short.

Cincinnati wins 52.5 to 10

Ravens at Chiefs
Laughter fills the air as all the fans at Arrowhead and even the announcers find it side-splitting hilarious when the Ravens come out hyped and thinking they have a chance at winning the game.

Patrick Mahomes completes 100% of his passes while throwing 8 TDs and EVERY SINGLE PASS he throws, he does it while looking directly at Lamar Jackson. Jackson tries to do the same thing but because he's only a RB pretending to be a QB, he ends up throwing 4 INTs before he decides to try looking where he's throwing.

After going into halftime leading 105 to -7, the Chiefs decide to cut the Ravens some slack and play Len Dawson at QB for the 2nd half (Len came out of retirement for 1 day just for this game). Len ends up throwing for 5 more TDs as the Chiefs go on to win the game with a final score of 140 to 0.75

SHITsburgh at San Francisco
At first, Mason Rudolph plays like an actual QB and the game is close going into the half (score is 10-7 SF leading). After halftime, it's revealed that Ben Roethlisberger had raped, bound and gagged Garrapolo and raped him again before donning Jimmy's jersey and playing for San Fran intentionally playing poorly to try to help the Steelers win. He was discovered in the lockerroom trying to rape the water fountain ("It wanted me. Bad" Ben would later remark. Grammar Nazis everywhere cringed)

Garrapolo starts the 2nd half and proceeds to throw 4 TDs and 4 INTs. Interestingly enough, on every Garofalo INT, the Steelers fumble the ball right back after losing yardage on the INT return.

Chiefs win 38-7

Rams at Browns
Browns suck. They will lose infinity to zero.

(09-20-2019, 04:56 PM)ballsofsteel Wrote: Smell this

(09-20-2019, 05:34 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Am I supposed to scratch it first?

(09-20-2019, 05:55 PM)ballsofsteel Wrote: You can scratch it or sniff it, which anyone you normally do.

(09-20-2019, 06:11 PM)PhilHos Wrote: I feel like this sentence is missing some words.

(09-20-2019, 07:24 PM)XsandOs Wrote: Yes, because HE is also missing something - BALLS!

(09-21-2019, 07:01 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: Don't get mad cupcake.
Is Phyllis your wife? A husband and wife team posting together on a message board. Far out.

(09-21-2019, 10:59 PM)BmorePat87 Wrote: Ravens remain in 1st place while the Bengals and Steelers remain winless.

(09-21-2019, 11:08 PM)XsandOs Wrote: Thank you Captain Obvious

(09-22-2019, 01:11 AM)BmorePat87 Wrote: Wait, you had to edit this post?

(09-22-2019, 08:02 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: I predict Phyllis and XO will tie the knot in the near future.

(09-22-2019, 08:02 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: I predict Phyllis and XO will tie the knot in the near future.

(09-21-2019, 01:05 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: How did the Chiefs win the Pitt-SF game?

(09-22-2019, 02:28 AM)XsandOs Wrote: Emoji didn't translate.

Again, thank you Captain.