04-01-2024, 02:41 PM
(04-01-2024, 02:32 PM)CJD Wrote: I appreciate the thoughtfulness and candor. I understand why you are saying what you are saying. When you see a group of people who find something offensive, the natural instinct is to try to do something to relieve their outrage, especially if the solution can be framed as "harmless" or "no work," like moving a holiday just this one time.
But I agree with your point about enabling people. If you move this holiday, then you've set an expectation that you'll do other "harmless" things to appease them and their outrage, even if it isn't legitimate or reasonable, just to be a "peacekeeper."
This may sound like a non-sequitur (and it may be to a degree), but I am an engineer for a living, and I was asked to give my input to a design issue on a project. It was not my project and I was not involved otherwise, but I thought, "Oh, it's just an hour of my time. That's no big deal. I can meet with them, give my expert opinion, and then they'll take it from there."
It's been 2 months now, and I've probably answered 50 emails about this single problem because it kept expanding, and the people who asked a "quick favor" from me have kept deferring to me at every turn, unwilling to do any work to resolve their problem.
If you give an inch, they'll take a mile.
But maybe I'm just frustrated about work :)
I feel your pain. Don't get me started on the number of people who've asked me to have "a quick talk" with their kid or their friend's kid. One woman tried to turn me into a surrogate dad, friggen endless phone calls.
