04-20-2016, 09:02 AM
(04-19-2016, 11:03 PM)GMDino Wrote: When our two kids were younger they got spanked if the were bad. Not beat. But a swat or two on the butt.
When they got a little older I would give them to the count of three before the spanking. I don't think I ever got to three.
When they were a little bit older still I would just sarcastically say "Oh! You want a spanking before you do what you were told to do anyway!" Never had to spank them.
Our daughter was a door slammer when she got mad. One day she yelled about something preteens yell about and stomped through the house. As she got to her room I never looked up from the computer but calmly said "If you slam that door one more time it comes off the hinges and there will be no door to slam again...forever." There was a second or two of silence and then a door quietly being shut.
The last time I spanked either of them was probably 6 years ago or so. Our daughter was being a real PITA and kept pushing and pushing. She was around 11 or 12 at the time. We were in the kitchen and she was doing something by the fridge and I was behind her making a sandwich. She dropped something and rather than squat down to get it she bent at the waist and the feeling just got the better of me and she got one stinging swat on the rear. She stood straight up, her face went red and the tears started. I apologized but told her she deserved it!
I have relatives who never spanked...their kids can be quite the handful. Very disrespectful. I believe in a firm but fair hand early to straighten the course before it gets too far out of hand. But by the parents. Although I have told my parents and a few other relatives watching them when they were younger that if they required a spanking to let me know before they did it. That involves a lot of trust though.
It is interesting. As you pointed out, later in life you didn't even need to reference physical pain as a way to get them to correct their behavior. My issue with spanking is how can you tell a kid as they grow up, don't hit someone just because they don't do what you want.....then hit them for not doing what you want them to do. I just think it sends a sometimes confusing message to kids. Like you said, I know people who spank and their kids are complete A**holes and they just have to keep spanking away. I know ones who don't spank and their kids are fine. I don't think casual observations by any of us show one works better than the other. I think both routes work, it's just a matter of how you want to approach it.
