A bullying fine?

[*Nately120*]

(05-13-2016, 10:59 AM)fredtoast Wrote: Here is a true story about bullying from my own life that shows how stupid it can be.

I grew up in a small town (Franklin).  Back in the 70's when I was riding the bus to school I was on a route that took a wide sweep around some of the outer edges of the school district.  So I rode the same bus with kids from the other side of town.   For some reason unknown to me there was a dispute form a part of town they called "Hollywood" and the place where I lived, Pennyroyal Hill.  The problem was I was the only male student from my part of town that rode the bus.  I was constantly getting picked on.  They stole my hats.  They stole my homework.  I even got into a couple of fights.  The only thing that helped was my parents complaining to the school about the lack of control on the bus.  The bus driver was forced to give assigned seats and establish more discipline on his bus.  But even then the disputes carried over to the schoolyards, but there was always more adult supervision at school.  

And I had to go through all of that just because of WHERE I LIVED.  It was insane.  I was even stronger and smarter than average for my age growing up, but some of these kids were years older than me and there was a group of them.

How would you have had me deal with that situation, Lucie?  How could I have handled that problem without help from adult supervision?

Actually, I'd present the possibility that Lucie's (and other like-minded parents') brand of "stand up for yourself" is what led to those from the oppressed part of town lashing out at you in the first place.  I had some friends who worked some of those awful "wrap around" jobs right out of college and the amount of time they spent with kids who were told by their parents that they need to stand up for themselves by fighting back or lashing out was just saddening.

Personally, my old man taught me that self confidence was being able to avoid a conflict by letting some ignoramus think he is right (I do that in person, but I'm obviously not doing it on internet message boards, hardy har) but other kids are taught that self-respect is standing up for your part of the town, your race, your class, your friends, yourself, etc. and  not being afraid to "take a punch" and so on.

Our culture, from its very bottom to the very top seems to have misconstrued offense with defense.  Maybe those kids on the bus figured beating you into a pulp was going to prevent you from assembling your own posse from the other side of town and starting your own conflict.  Who knows.  What I do know is that children are being programmed to believe that fighting is some sort of honorable thing and that those who avoid is are cowards, lack self-respect, or are going to grow up to be wimps.

Long story short, I'd wager those kids bullying you were just doing what they were taught was the right thing to do and saw it as a manly defense of their part of town.  Can you really have pride in your own side without actively berating/attacking the opposition?  Different strokes for different folks.  

I don't wear Bengals stuff around Pittsburgh because total strangers will actively start antagonizing me based on nothing more than my affiliation (some people feel absolutely compelled to do these things).  It wouldn't occur to me to give grief to a guy in a Steelers jersey, not because Bengals fans are better/wimpier than Steelers fans, but because I was raised to believe antagonizing strangers was stupid at best and dangerous at worst.