10-04-2016, 12:02 PM
(10-03-2016, 10:19 PM)treee Wrote: I don't really know what to post on here but I figure we could talk about our life and get to know each other. I'm 24, currently working and going to the local community college part time. My dad died earlier this year. I'm really missing all of my friends that I've lost touch with. I'm coming up on 2 years out of a relationship with an emotionally manipulative person. I'm dating someone right now which is kinda cool but we live kinda far apart and only see each other every couple weeks so I think I need to find someone to date who is closer to me. I'm having trouble with debt, bills, and bureaucracy. I'm currently in something called SOP-1 which is something for people with potential substance abuse issues. I take medicine to help me sleep because for some reason I can't sleep at normal times. The biggest thing I have trouble with is that I have no people in my life that I'm actually close to. Part of it is because that is how I made my life, but I feel like part of it is out of my control. I wish I had more inspiration in my life but maybe that is something that you have to find rather than wait to come to you. Life is just feeling kinda shitty lately. I know I have it alright and so I feel shitty for feeling shitty which makes it even worse ha. I'm pretty much a shut-in these days and it is taking a toll on me in a lot of ways.
Anyways, this thread isn't just for me to type giant walls of text at you guys. Feel free to tell me about how your life is going too. I'll do my best to have an open ear and be a good friend.
I'm 24 and lost my dad when I was 4. He had a sudden heart attack and his 40's and we learned he had the heart of a 90 year old man. While It sucks you lost your father hold on to the memories you do have because I spend a lot of my time wondering who my dad was as a person and how he could've effected my life. Luckily I have a Mom who has gone out of her way to help me understand that part of my life better but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a void there. We've been really unfortunate and I've spent way too much of my young life dealing with death. I had been to 9 funerals before I was even 18. I lost my oldest brother when I was 12 and that was the biggest blow and one that I struggle with everyday. He wasn't just someone I looked up to but my best friend as well. I've learned the hard way that if you don't deal with those kind of tragedy's emotionally it's not gonna just disappear. I spent too much time being numb to it all...
I'm currently struggling with feeling like I've been stuck in neutral for too long. I spend a lot of time alone because my handful of close friends have moved on and it's hard for me to get out and socialize without a car or have a job. At one point I really wasn't interested in socializing but that can take a toll real quick. I thought being alone would help me sort out my life but it didn't and I ended up just souring my social life and smoking a lot of pot. You can never underestimate what socializing can do for you. The most important thing for me is to find a career I actually enjoy if I can manage that I feel like everything else I want out of life will fall into place. I don't feel like I want much just a job I enjoy, a family and just a stable life. At times I just feel really anxious that I'm running out of time to get my shit together. There's a girl I went to school and we still stay in touch even though she's on the other side of the state and we lead totally different lives at the moment. Sometimes I think we could be a good couple and sometimes I think it's just loneliness kicking in. It would've been really easy for us to drift apart the way people do between being hours away and an ex-boyfriend who hated my guts but for some reason we're still in touch.
I've been working hard lately at avoiding a victim mentality and focusing more on what I can do to fix my situation rather then feeling bummed because of it. It has made me feel more empowered and less helpless. I also try to focus on what these times have taught me because I believe there is something you can learn from anything/anyone good or bad. Just try to keep perspective that you have control to make this just a chapter in your life rather then the whole thing. Having a hobby can help a lot. Even the littlest thing as long as you're improving at something it can make you feel better. Ive got like 20 hobbies right now and am starting to feel like the guy from 40 Year Old Virgin but it helps.
Hope things get better for you and remember it's always darkest before dawn.
