The Art of Listening

[GMDino]

(07-30-2019, 04:05 AM)Bengalzona Wrote: Did you ever think he was not going to vote for Trump? Did you think one conversation would change everything?

That doesn't seem realistic to me.


And since we are discussing Trump, I talked in depth with a lot of my friends who voted for him. Almost to a person, they stated the same things:
1) They did not like him.
2) They liked Hillary less.
3) If they had been offered a better choice than Hillary, they would have voted for that person.
3) They felt they were not being 'heard' by the Democrat Party. With this in mind, Trump is sort of a "taste-of-you-own-medicine" in their minds (Democrats don't listen to them = Trump doesn't listen to Democrats).
While I feel my friends were sincere about all of these points, I feel the fourth point had a particular resonance among them based upon how much active listening I had to do to reach that information. It was also a point that was hard for them to articulate (and a lot of these people are college educated). What this revolves around is a fear of being persecuted (like being called a racist, or a chauvanist, etc.) in public places for expressing certain thoughts or ideas.

To the bold first:  Just to look back at this thread I have agreed that listening is a good strategy.  My point has been that you can't "just" listen forever.  Soon or later you must get them to think beyond their own beliefs.  Yes Jim was going to vote for Trump no matter what.  So what would my conversation or ten conversations or 1000 conversations do if I just said "I always wondered why you thought the way you do."

I am totally on board with civil conversations.  I don't buy that it can happen with "no agenda" most of the time.

The people who voted for Trump because they didn't feel "heard" what are we do to do?  Listen to them say they wanted a different candidate?  We know that.  Now what?  

I'll accept the premise of listening as a general rule...but it will not bring change like is being presented.

That doesn't mean you call every Trump support a racist.  But you can show them how racist he can be and ask why they support that.

I apologize if that hurts their feelings and makes them not like Democrats for "not listening to them".

My best friend voted for Trump and he HATES him as a man.  He didn't rust Clinton and is an avowed conservative.  We can talk for hours about our differences of opinions and reach compromises or change our minds because we present arguments for why that should happen...not just passively listen.  People that are full entrenched like my BIL aren't GOING to change.  Period.  Listen, dont, doesn't matter.

Are your friends sorry they voted for DJT?  Will they vote for hm again if they don't like the Democratic nominee because THEY aren't being heard?  If that's the case then listening does nothing but reinforce what they already believe.


Change comes from challenge.  External or internal.