The Art of Listening

[Bengalzona]

(07-30-2019, 09:43 AM)GMDino Wrote: To the bold first:  Just to look back at this thread I have agreed that listening is a good strategy.  My point has been that you can't "just" listen forever.  Soon or later you must get them to think beyond their own beliefs.  Yes Jim was going to vote for Trump no matter what.  So what would my conversation or ten conversations or 1000 conversations do if I just said "I always wondered why you thought the way you do."

I am totally on board with civil conversations.  I don't buy that it can happen with "no agenda" most of the time.

The people who voted for Trump because they didn't feel "heard" what are we do to do?  Listen to them say they wanted a different candidate?  We know that.  Now what?  

I'll accept the premise of listening as a general rule...but it will not bring change like is being presented.

That doesn't mean you call every Trump support a racist.  But you can show them how racist he can be and ask why they support that.

I apologize if that hurts their feelings and makes them not like Democrats for "not listening to them".

My best friend voted for Trump and he HATES him as a man.  He didn't rust Clinton and is an avowed conservative.  We can talk for hours about our differences of opinions and reach compromises or change our minds because we present arguments for why that should happen...not just passively listen.  People that are full entrenched like my BIL aren't GOING to change.  Period.  Listen, dont, doesn't matter.

Are your friends sorry they voted for DJT?  Will they vote for hm again if they don't like the Democratic nominee because THEY aren't being heard?  If that's the case then listening does nothing but reinforce what they already believe.


Change comes from challenge.  External or internal.

A talented listener can change someone's opinion just by leading the person to listen to and consider their own words they are speaking.  Dill pointed this out earlier. The more outrageous a person's position is, the more likely this is to happen. But that only happens when they trust the person they are speaking to.

Some of my friends are sorry that they voted for Trump.

You say change only comes from challenge. Perhaps. But don't you think the way the challenge is presented has merit? Has Rush Limbaugh's challenges to your beliefs been effective?