The Art of Listening

[GMDino]

(07-31-2019, 06:29 PM)Bengalzona Wrote: Active talking = none or very little listening

I disagree.  The good interviewer is engaged with their guest.

Active talking = drawing out the other person's words.  While that can come from an "agenda" (trying to "trick" someone into a mistake or saying something YOU want) it also comes from being a good listener.  Reacting to what the other person says and NOT just what you want to get across to them.

Asking my deceased BIL if he worked with any of these "lazy n******" is as loaded as asking "they weren't ALL lazy, were they?" becuase he DID work with some (one, five, who knows) and they are the ones he uses to defend his "belief" that they are lazy.  Seeing other examples of hard working black people didn't change that.  Why?  Because those examples were not WHY he was racist...they were just what he used to defend his racism.  "I've seen it" is the racist "I have a black friend" for people who want to say they AREN'T racist.  Speaking with him, even just listening to his stories only reinforced that what he "saw" reinforced what he "knew"...that blacks are lazy, welfare collecting good for nothings.  Without any other outside influence, say from someone questioning that "knowledge" with some outside facts and experiences, those will not change no matter how well anyone listened to him.

Once again, I am all for listening versus accusing and screaming,  I just have an issue with the never offering any kind of challenge.  At some point it must be presented to begin the change...if there will ever be one.