Parents of U.K. teen killed in crash say they felt ambushed during Trump meeting

[Dill]

(10-16-2019, 09:33 PM)BmorePat87 Wrote: I think the "ambush" part was first meeting with Trump (NPR said they were told it would be with a senior official) and then being told that the person who killed their son was in the next room and they could bring her into the room. I guess the family was not ready to see her on a whim, especially not with staff photographers in the room.

(10-17-2019, 10:00 AM)Crazyjdawg Wrote: I think this is a scenario where Trump was trying to be helpful. He just doesn't seem to understand human interactions and what is and is not appropriate.

But I give him points for at least trying to do the right thing - getting these two parties to meet, even if he did it in one of the most absurd and inappropriate ways you could think of.

Agree that Trump was probably trying to be helpful, as doing so would appear to help him.

Bpat has the "ambush" part right, though. Trump set this up because, lacking empathy and the internalized social norms that regulate normal citizen's behavior, he doesn't really see all the ramifications of messing with grieving parents this way. 

This is somewhat similar to other "ambushes"--e.g., bringing four Clinton accusers to a public debate. That was not "trying to be helpful," but it flows from the same sense of PT Barnum/pro-wrestling understanding of shock publicity and an absence of the aforementioned social norms which prevent others from generating and reveling in such spontaneous drama. Reality TV, only this time the EMCEE is the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES FOLKS!

What is a parent supposed to think in this case?  Imagine you've come to the US to get justice for your son. You are exploring the legal/political landscape to see what can be done.  You score a meeting with a "high-level" official. Looks like progress.

SUDDENLY you are in a room with the president of the US, cameras whirring, and he tells you the woman who killed your son is in the next room.  Do you want to meet her with cameras in your face?  In the chaos could you possibly say or do something that hurts your chances of getting justice? Break down in anger? Walk out? Shake hands, "forgive" the woman? Then you're back on the plane to Gatwick watching the news on the back of the seat in front of you--"Trump reconciled grieving parents and . . . etc."  Your claim has been settled. At some level you probably recognized the whole scene is being staged for the president's purposes, not your own. And the memory of your son is turned into a kind of show/PR ploy.

No time to think. Tremendous STRESS. Yes. And, fundamentally, DISRESPECT.  Ambush is the right term.