Ghosting

[reuben.ahmed]

I ghosted my Ex, but I told her I was going to do it. I see no purpose in continue conversation with ex girlfriends when you are pursuing new women. I do think about contacting her sometimes, but that would result in nothing - since I was the one who was dumped. Don't stick yourself in an unhealthy "friendship". Can we still have everything we had, but no physical contact? I've gotten salty since then. "Ghosting" seems immature sometimes, but can also be seen as a mature act. I bluntly told her what am I supposed to tell any new girlfriend I have, that I'm still talking to my Ex?  And the amount of energy I'm spending being your "friend", shouldn't I be spending trying to find someone who wants to date me? (Haha)

Friendships are retained after someone gets married, I found, after they are fully "off the market".

When you are dumped, or are doing the dumping, it is different. I've spoken to hundreds of women since then and I don't find the same spark.

I don't understand "mutual breakups", that's made up. How can someone let a relationship go that long and both agree it's not working? Sounds like both people weren't serious to begin with. Relationships are hard to get on the same page sometimes. With my ex, I thought it was an issue that she couldn't say she loved me after a year of dating. Not saying she should be forced to, but she said if "she said it" it would "open her up to getting hurt." I said I'm not sure how that's fair to me or the relationship. That was the beginning of the end, lol.

It's not easy to go through a breakup that involves "ghosting", going from heavy contact daily to nothing at all, there's going to be crying on both sides for a bit.

I took this girl to Times Square for 5 days and Disney World for her birthday. I definitely overdid it, but it was fun. I took her to the airport once and she didn't know her destination (her mom got really mad about that, lol) - once we were boarding I gave her a little booklet of the things we were going to do, one of them being seeing the "biggest aquarium in the world" - in Atlanta.  Because it was long distance, any time we'd see each other we'd be attached by the hip 24/7. It didn't feel uncomfortable either, you know that best friend feeling. It worked, because I really don't do well with people hanging on me every day with a job that has me working long hours sometimes.

It was hard to travel again after that, it would always remind me of her. As anything, it just takes time to get through anything. She didn't give a good reason for dumping me (nobody is really strong enough to be honest, she was searching for random reasons). I was pretty clear why a ghost was going to happen, though. I really hate the silent treatment that women can give, I didn't want her to view it as the silent treatment - it was a clear decision to cut off when being dumped.

There is so much more of an online presence nowadays (facebook, texting, etc) - going the old fashioned route will always get you the girl (or at least, the right one).

I thought everything was going perfectly, other than she had trouble with her words (lol) - so I am also still scarred that if everything is going well, it could be ended without discussion. She had depression that was something that had to be dealt with, but the magical combination of us going through changes and her depression hitting caused her to dump me, instead of trying to figure a way through it. I have become salty with women since, not wanting to put effort in anymore.

I dropped her off at the airport, she blew me a kiss goodbye. 2 weeks later, she dumped me over text. I called her and said that was disrespectful. She got angry and said it's not disrespectful to dump someone!! I said, but to do that over text after a year? We need to talk on the phone, just so you feel better about that in the longrun. (This is how it is nowadays folks!). She said she felt like shit doing it, so I said then why are you? Silence. (lol)

I booked a $600 trip to try and see her the next day. I told her to meet me on the docks. She said she didn't want to see me (mind you, this made no sense since she blew me a kiss the last time we saw each other in person, lol). I said fine, I'll be standing on the docks alone.

I never took the flight. Delta wouldn't refund me that quickly, so I ended up using $200 of it towards a trip to Scotland this year. The one regret I have is wondering if she ever did show up at that dock by her house. That's the worst feeling in a relationship, is to have regrets. That was my only regret. I drove 8 hours to take her out on our first date. That won't happen again, lol.