Formula of Embarrassment.

[jfkbengals]

(04-12-2022, 02:12 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Dude - When I was going through my last divorce and really didn't give a shit about anything but alcohol, I had a similar incident. I was the only one staying at my house and half the furniture and shit was gone. Every night when I would drive home from work (4 beer drive), when I would enter into the living room (in the dark) I kept hitting a dang spider web with my head. After 3-4 consecutive nights, same door, same walk into, I was still having no luck locating the damn spider that kept creating the damn web. I took a broom nightly after the incidents and brushed it on the doorway and above it hoping it wouldn't happen again. But it kept going on. Then, the weekend came and with traffic there were no more webs and I forgot about it.

That Monday when I returned to work, I swear. This damn spider must have recruited some damn friends because they webbed together a thick ass web that I walked into. I swear I felt like I had stop cables wrapped around my head off an aircraft carrier. This spider was on me but I didnt know it. I was brushing my hands through my hair and across my shoulders to get rid of the web. Then, after grabbing a cold one, I felt something on my neck and that ***** ran fast into my hair. I looked like a damn idiot running and jumping around. Then out of the corner of my eyes I seen something fall to the floor and that big bastard took off. I ran after him screaming and stomping. Probably made two or three stomps before I finally squished his big juicy ass. Never forget that little bastard and the terror he wreaked on me that week.

(04-12-2022, 04:53 PM)grampahol Wrote: Wait'll you step face first into an orb spiders web with a 3" spider in it.. I've gotten used to them since we have hundreds around the place in the summer time, but these gigantic roaches some people call palmetto bugs that suddenly appear in the shower while I'm standing there butt naked that'll make me want to dirty up the shower floor really fast.. Those f*ckers are miniature dinosaurs..Every now and then one will climb in bed with us.. My wife thinks I've completely gone batshit crazy when that happens..  In fact I do just that.. 

There's a lesson here.

No matter WHO you are, or WHERE you are, you are GOING to run face first into a web at some point or another!