Temper your expectations

[grampahol]

I almost expect the Bengals to appear on a dating site for lowered expectations. 
Likes long walks on beaches, etc..
Are you a fan of a team that has never won the super bowl and your best expectations are that your team may someday win A playoff game? 
Well, the Cincinnati Bengals may just be the team for you. 
Sure we're out of shape and our head coach has issues, but we're in it for the long haul and we won't show up at your kids birthday parties drunk, usually. 
Our team colors are perfectly matched for Halloween night and our offensive line is scary, but not so scary that your grandma will have a heart attack when she meets them for the first time. 
Yes, we like long walks on the beach despite the fact that Cincinnati is located along a big river instead of the ocean so as a fan there's no worries about games getting cancelled because of hurricane conditions. 
We may never win the super bowl, but as an added bonus we're not Cleveland. 
So relax and become a Bengals fan and never have to worry about losing in the last seconds of the super bowl again because consistency counts more than actually winning. We're extremely consistent with our post season record and what can be better than that? 

As you can tell, I've been thoroughly Bengalized and I'm darned proud of it.  By the way, don't date a woman who touts the benefits of sea breeze aromas.  The sea generally smells like dead fish. That should be the first clue.