10-07-2019, 10:48 AM
Was just thinking about this yesterday. So far this team has been eerily similar to those classic 90's teams. Losing games we should win because of stupid mistakes and clueless coaches/management.
And you guys haven't even seen the worst part yet -- rock bottom will be week 13 when we lose to the Jets in a blowout, making us 0-12. Management will make some dumb move that means nothing, like demote Andy or fire a secondary coach. We'll look good in a close loss to the Browns in week 14, then beat the Pats in week 15! WooHoo! What a win! Another strong victory against the winless Fins in week 16, then we'll beat the Browns in a meaningless home game week 17. We finished strong! Won our last 3! We were competitive! Guys are finally learning the system! Can't change anything. MB loves what ZT is doing; holds a press conference to support him and everything. Plus we have the second pick in the draft! Will get a really talented player! And guess what? We're bringing back a former coach! Jay Gruden? Nah, he went to the raiders. Welcome back Hue Jackson as special assistant to the head coach/head adviser to long snapper! You know that we had our most successful offense when he was in the fold, right Butch?
In the offseason, we let AJ walk (old, injured), who promptly joins the Pats and has 4 more all-pro seasons. Andy is let go, too, because we believe in Finley! Trade Price for a 5th (never panned out); Price goes on to make 2 pro bowls. With the second pick, we draft Jerry Jeudy, continuing to ignore the lines. We need AJ's replacement! Second round, we draft a DIII CB that no one's ever heard of, then a TE in 3 (Eifert's replacement!).
LB help? We're happy with our group, but we picked up a slow run stopper in 7. We love Hart, but to be safe let's pick up a backup OT who's been cut by 5 different teams. He's familiar with the system, you know. During the season, Finley gets sacked at a historic rate, can't get the ball to Jeudy, who's ACL explodes in game 5. Ross too. Mixon wants out. WJIII wants out. It's OK, we're building ... getting better week by week ... competitive, plus we'll have a high pick next draft ... Huber was an All Pro! ... injuries ... unlucky ... we have talent, just can't get it on the field together ... Missed out on Trevor Lawrence? That's OK, we like Finley better. We'll pick Justyn Ross, WR, Clemson. Pair him with Jeudy, stretch the field, that's our problem, you know ...
Welcome to the 90s, Bengals fans! Now I'm gonna go out back and shoot myself ...
And you guys haven't even seen the worst part yet -- rock bottom will be week 13 when we lose to the Jets in a blowout, making us 0-12. Management will make some dumb move that means nothing, like demote Andy or fire a secondary coach. We'll look good in a close loss to the Browns in week 14, then beat the Pats in week 15! WooHoo! What a win! Another strong victory against the winless Fins in week 16, then we'll beat the Browns in a meaningless home game week 17. We finished strong! Won our last 3! We were competitive! Guys are finally learning the system! Can't change anything. MB loves what ZT is doing; holds a press conference to support him and everything. Plus we have the second pick in the draft! Will get a really talented player! And guess what? We're bringing back a former coach! Jay Gruden? Nah, he went to the raiders. Welcome back Hue Jackson as special assistant to the head coach/head adviser to long snapper! You know that we had our most successful offense when he was in the fold, right Butch?
In the offseason, we let AJ walk (old, injured), who promptly joins the Pats and has 4 more all-pro seasons. Andy is let go, too, because we believe in Finley! Trade Price for a 5th (never panned out); Price goes on to make 2 pro bowls. With the second pick, we draft Jerry Jeudy, continuing to ignore the lines. We need AJ's replacement! Second round, we draft a DIII CB that no one's ever heard of, then a TE in 3 (Eifert's replacement!).
LB help? We're happy with our group, but we picked up a slow run stopper in 7. We love Hart, but to be safe let's pick up a backup OT who's been cut by 5 different teams. He's familiar with the system, you know. During the season, Finley gets sacked at a historic rate, can't get the ball to Jeudy, who's ACL explodes in game 5. Ross too. Mixon wants out. WJIII wants out. It's OK, we're building ... getting better week by week ... competitive, plus we'll have a high pick next draft ... Huber was an All Pro! ... injuries ... unlucky ... we have talent, just can't get it on the field together ... Missed out on Trevor Lawrence? That's OK, we like Finley better. We'll pick Justyn Ross, WR, Clemson. Pair him with Jeudy, stretch the field, that's our problem, you know ...
Welcome to the 90s, Bengals fans! Now I'm gonna go out back and shoot myself ...
