"Now there's a happy little scotch!"

Stress
 
You pick up a hitchhiker...
A young, sexy, beautiful girl.
Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and
you take her to the hospital.
Now that's stressful.
  
But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and
congratulate you that you're going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
This is getting very stressful!
 
You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.
After the tests are completed,
The doctor says the test shows you're infertile,
And probably have been since birth.
You're extremely stressed but relieved.
 
On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home.

Redneck BBQ

Redneck A/C - gotta admit, this was creative....dumb, but creative...

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."
Dr."Young", who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
This is what transpired:
Dr. Young: --- "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth." can you please help me ??
Dr. Geezer: --- "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: --- Aaagh !! -- "This is gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Oh no you don't, -- that's gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see !!!!
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so -- " Here's your $1000 back."
Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer

(07-15-2015, 06:32 PM)Bengalzona Wrote:

That's gotta chafe...

Challenge accepted..

Rough school, eh. They decided not to shoot senior pictures since the Police Station had a complete set already.