Typical Luck Of Mine - Printable Version +- Cincinnati Bengals Message Board / Forums - Home of Jungle Noise (https://thebengalsboard.com) +-- Forum: Off Topic Forums (https://thebengalsboard.com/forum-5.html) +--- Forum: Klotsch (https://thebengalsboard.com/forum-22.html) +--- Thread: Typical Luck Of Mine (/thread-16243.html) |
Typical Luck Of Mine - BFritz21 - 06-25-2018 Tonight, I had a babe over. We're kissing and fooling around before we start the serious stuff and I'm like "hold on, I need to use the restroom first....... don't get up," and I climb over her. As I'm trying to bring my second leg over, I fall, hit my mouth on my power wheelchair, chip a tooth and cut my lip. Now, I have a chipped tooth and I'm spitting up blood. Hopefully, we can get it fixed soon so I don't look like a complete hillbilly. It pisses me off because my smile was the one thing that everyone loves about me. It's not the center tooth, but it's just off to the right, so it's not THAT bad, but still. Just the luck of the half-Irish cripple. RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - fredtoast - 06-25-2018 I came up with almost the exact same story the first time a woman punched me in the mouth. RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - bengalfan74 - 06-25-2018 You shoulda just said ahh that was nothing, wait till I start banging you on every piece of furniture in here. RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - Go Cards - 06-25-2018 (06-25-2018, 01:09 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I came up with almost the exact same story the first time a woman punched me in the mouth. Me too RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - BengalHawk62 - 06-25-2018 Back in high school, my girlfriend and I were out on the gravel roads, listening to the radio, making out, fooling around, doing the deed....well anyways, we were there a little too long (typical me) and my battery died. I couldn't get my car to start back up. I had to walk a mile to the nearest farm house, knock on the door, and ask to get jumped. This was at midnight too! I was so embarrassed. I pry would have gotten shot in today's age. But the nice farmer did help a guy out and jump my car so I could drop the g/f off before her curfew. RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - HarleyDog - 06-25-2018 Look at the bright side there Strahan. If you accidentally roll into a gay bar, your going to turn some head! RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - fredtoast - 06-25-2018 (06-25-2018, 03:08 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Back in high school, my girlfriend and I were out on the gravel roads, listening to the radio, making out, fooling around, doing the deed....well anyways, we were there a little too long (typical me) and my battery died. I couldn't get my car to start back up. I had to walk a mile to the nearest farm house, knock on the door, and ask to get jumped. This was at midnight too! I was so embarrassed. I pry would have gotten shot in today's age. But the nice farmer did help a guy out and jump my car so I could drop the g/f off before her curfew. One time in high school I was out with some friends in a van. I was making out with this drunk chick in the back when she said she had to puke. Instead of asking the driver to stop I just slid open the side door and held her while she hung her head out to puke. But I was too drunk to hold on and she fell face first out of a moving van. Nothing broken but half of her face looked like she had been attacked with a cheese grater. That ended our relationship. RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - michaelsean - 06-26-2018 (06-25-2018, 04:00 PM)fredtoast Wrote: One time in high school I was out with some friends in a van. I was making out with this drunk chick in the back when she said she had to puke. Instead of asking the driver to stop I just slid open the side door and held her while she hung her head out to puke. But I was too drunk to hold on and she fell face first out of a moving van. Nothing broken but half of her face looked like she had been attacked with a cheese grater. “God you look terrible. I think we need to break up.” RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - HarleyDog - 06-27-2018 (06-25-2018, 04:00 PM)fredtoast Wrote: One time in high school I was out with some friends in a van. I was making out with this drunk chick in the back when she said she had to puke. Instead of asking the driver to stop I just slid open the side door and held her while she hung her head out to puke. But I was too drunk to hold on and she fell face first out of a moving van. Nothing broken but half of her face looked like she had been attacked with a cheese grater. Should have stayed with her. You would have made a cute couple. RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - Sabretooth - 06-27-2018 (06-27-2018, 07:25 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: Should have stayed with her. You would have made a cute couple. Hit RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - Jason_NC - 06-27-2018 No such thing as luck. Everything happens under a sovereign plan. RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - BFritz21 - 06-27-2018 Went to the dentist and had it fixed today, so now my $50 smile is back and rockin Lip is still cut and hurts so I might need to go get that checked out, but I'm just hoping it heals on its own. RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - grampahol - 06-27-2018 (06-25-2018, 12:48 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: Tonight, I had a babe over.C'mon Brad.. You were just rude to her so she beat the crap out of you . Learn to be nice to women, man! RE: Typical Luck Of Mine - George Cantstandya - 06-28-2018 I think Brad and Fred should have used Google to find a more appropriate message board to post their twisted erotic short fiction. |