+- Cincinnati Bengals Message Board / Forums - Home of Jungle Noise (https://thebengalsboard.com)
+-- Forum: Off Topic Forums (https://thebengalsboard.com/forum-5.html)
+--- Forum: Klotsch (https://thebengalsboard.com/forum-22.html)
+--- Thread: fredtoast goat saga (/thread-7271.html)
Pages:
1
2
fredtoast goat saga - fredtoast - 08-16-2016
Back at the first of the year I moved from the house I had been living in for the last 15 years into a house I had been using for rental property. Since I am divorced and my daughters live with my wife I no longer needed the large house, plus the rental house was almost a half hour closer to where my daughters live.
The house that I moved from had a 3.5 acre lot and I mowed more than an acre. So, of course I had a lawn tractor to mow it. The home I live in know is ion downtown Knoxville and has a very small yard. Unfortunately I have an arthritic knee that makes it difficult for me to even mow a small lot with a push mower. I intended to haul the lawn tractor back and forth to keep my lawn mowed, but that was just too much trouble. So I paid a guy a few bucks to keep my front lawn mowed, but since no one can see my backyard due to a six foot privacy fence I decided to just let it grow and only mow it once a month or so with my lawn tractor. However I was too busy (lazy) to get around to mowing it so eventually the grass was close to waist high.
When I lived in my old house my daughters always asked me to get them some pet goats. So one day while they were teasing me about the tall grass in my backyard they suggested that I get some goats to eat it down. They were not really serious, but I thought it was a good idea. I figured that sonce my neighbors could not see into my back yard they would not care if I had goats. So I bought a couple of kids and put them back there.
First thing I learned was that even two small goats produce a lot of goat droppings. And for some reason they preferred to poop on my deck instead of in the yard. Goat droppings are small round balls, so it was not problem to sweep them off the deck, but it was more work to do every day. Then one of them got the scours and my deck was covered with goat diarrhea. This happened right after my father died back in June and I was spending most of my time staying with my mom. So one day I stooped by my house and the sick goat was gone. turns out the scours had been so bad that it killed it, but the worst part was that it had crawled into a very small space under my deck to die. So I had to crawl through dirt and goat diarrhea to remove a bloated goat corpse. Then I has to haul it up to my moms farm to dispose of. even though I had it wrapped up in multiple layers of plastic it seemed like my car smalled like dead goat for days.
The goat that lived was kind of freaked out so he was running around the yard bleating loudly. I bought another kid to keep him company, but from that day on he was always bleating and crying and making a lot of noise. i assumed that the neighbors would not like this, and sure enough one of them complained and I came home to find a notice from animal control stating that I had 24 hours to remove the goats. Luckily there was no fine I had to pay, but since I did not have a truck I had to put the goats in the trunk of my car to haul them to the other house that I still own (it has been a very slow process getting it fixed up enough to sell). Even though I put down a tarp to line my trunk again it seems like my car smells like goat.
Now I have to sell the goats, but I am going to borrow my moms truck to haul them to market.
Moral of the story. It is cheaper to pay someone to mow a small yard than buy goats.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - Wyche'sWarrior - 08-16-2016
This is not where I envisioned this tale going at all....
RE: fredtoast goat saga - SunsetBengal - 08-16-2016
I would have thought that as highly educated a man as you are, you would have been able to think that through and see where it would lead..
RE: fredtoast goat saga - fredtoast - 08-16-2016
(08-16-2016, 02:42 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: I would have thought that as highly educated a man as you are, you would have been able to think that through and see where it would lead..
I have actually had goats before. When I originally bought tha house on 3.5 acres I used goats to clean up a good portion of the property that ws overgrown with brush and vines. They kept pretty quiet. I never thought I would get one that cried and made noise all the time. I don't think my neighbors would have minded if that one did not make so much noise.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - BengalHawk62 - 08-16-2016
I miss Tennessee. Me n the wifey sure do need to get back there. Loved the cabin up in the Smokey mountains. We was real close to you Fred, just down near Pigeon Forge. We could have meet you at the Blue Moose. Best wings in town, I thought.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - bfine32 - 08-16-2016
Add "not being Fred's neighbor" to the list of things I am thankful for.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - fredtoast - 08-16-2016
(08-16-2016, 02:55 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: I miss Tennessee. Me n the wifey sure do need to get back there. Loved the cabin up in the Smokey mountains. We was real close to you Fred, just down near Pigeon Forge. We could have meet you at the Blue Moose. Best wings in town, I thought.
I used to work in the judicial district that included Sevier County and was often in court in Pigeon Forge.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - treee - 08-16-2016
Goats - 1, Fred - 0
RE: fredtoast goat saga - BmorePat87 - 08-16-2016
A buddy who grew up on a farm told me that they're escape artists.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - fredtoast - 08-16-2016
(08-16-2016, 05:10 PM)BmorePat87 Wrote: A buddy who grew up on a farm told me that they're escape artists.
They are.
If there is a brace against a corner fence post or a gate post they will walk up it to get out.
And they can jump like deer.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - Sabretooth - 08-17-2016
(08-16-2016, 02:42 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: I would have thought that as highly educated a man as you are, you would have been able to think that through and see where it would lead..
Education and common sense are not the same.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - Nebuchadnezzar - 08-17-2016
I know someone who is diabetic and one day she went out in the morning to feed the goats. Well, she was sick, is a diabetic and just trying to do too much and passed out in the barn. When she woke up, her pants were gone except for a small piece she saw one of the goats eating. THE GOATS ATE HER PANTS!
Moral of the story...don't pass out or fall to sleep in a barn that houses goats.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - bfine32 - 08-17-2016
(08-16-2016, 05:10 PM)BmorePat87 Wrote: A buddy who grew up on a farm told me that they're escape artists.
He's most likely not holding onto it tight enough
RE: fredtoast goat saga - Awful Llama - 08-17-2016
(08-16-2016, 04:29 PM)treee Wrote: Goats - 1, Fred - 0
I'm not sure it was that close.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - masterpanthera_t - 08-17-2016
(08-16-2016, 03:12 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I used to work in the judicial district that included Sevier County and was often in court in Pigeon Forge.
I didn't realize how beautiful Tennessee was until I drove through there from Virginia ending about an hour west of Knoxville. I passed through downtown Knoxville on 40 W and then back again. The mountains there are just as beautiful as the Shenandoah (maybe better).
RE: fredtoast goat saga - Rotobeast - 08-17-2016
(08-17-2016, 02:54 PM)bfine32 Wrote: He's most likely not holding onto it tight enoughAmateurs....
Everyone knows you point them towards a cliff, so they keep backing up.
Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk
RE: fredtoast goat saga - Beaker - 08-17-2016
(08-17-2016, 04:34 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: Amateurs....
Everyone knows you point them towards a cliff, so they keep backing up.
Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk
Or put their back feet inside your boots so they can't run away.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - Rotobeast - 08-18-2016
(08-17-2016, 11:08 PM)Beaker Wrote: Or put their back feet inside your boots so they can't run away.Let's not do the secret handshake in front of the rest.
[emoji83]
Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk
RE: fredtoast goat saga - fredtoast - 08-18-2016
(08-17-2016, 11:08 PM)Beaker Wrote: Or put their back feet inside your boots so they can't run away.
Goats are too short for this to work.
RE: fredtoast goat saga - Rotobeast - 08-18-2016
(08-18-2016, 12:24 AM)fredtoast Wrote: Goats are too short for this to work.You have to wear thigh-highs.
[emoji12]
Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk