Why your team sucks 2021: Cincinnati Bengals

[Murdock2420]

It's also time for these yearly delights.

Of course the comments are always some of the most amazing things.

Such as: "I could hurl blame at Joe Montana or Joey Porter or Kimo von Oelhoffen or the Silverdome’s turf or the curse of Bo Jackson’s hip for the woes of my beloved Bengals during my lifetime, but ultimately this is my fault. I’m from Columbus. I could have chosen the Browns, or the Bears of my adopted hometown of Chicago. But, at the end of the day, I guess I’d rather pull for the team who skimps on scouting and employs a sentient Yeti cooler as a head coach. Zac Taylor has ten sportcoats in his closet and zero ties."

https://defector.com/why-your-team-sucks-2021-cincinnati-bengals/

[*Awful Llama*]

Thanks for posting. The comments are the best part.

Quote:We haven’t won a playoff game since college was affordable.

Quote:I met my future wife at a Bengals game. Meeting a cute girl at Paul Brown Stadium might be the biggest upset in sports history because Paul Brown Stadium is the beach in “Old.”

Quote:Every year I meet at least one person not from Cincinnati and with no lineage to Porkopolis (yes the city was once infested with pigs) that chose to be a Bengals fan. I feel two things simultaneously when learning this: “Cool, someone chose us”, and also “I do not trust this person’s judgement or general personality.” I avoid them like the plague the rest of the game while Dre Kirkpatrick gets abused by Ryan Fitzpatrick.

[Nicomo Cosca]

(09-06-2021, 05:09 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: Thanks for posting. The comments are the best part.

That first comment is disgusting.

[Truck_1_0_1_]

(09-06-2021, 05:31 PM)Nicomo Cosca Wrote: That first comment is disgusting.

Thank you.

[Nicomo Cosca]

(09-06-2021, 05:48 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: I disagree given the context, but to each his own.

You disagree that wishing death on a man (a father and grandfather) because you don’t like the way he runs your favorite football team is gross?

Well, you’re certainly a class act then.

[Nicomo Cosca]

(09-06-2021, 07:03 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: It was said in a forum where the idea is to top and out-funny everyone else.  Crossing the line is going to be inevitable.  And, while I would agree with you that randomly wishing death on a person is heinous, making such a remark in that context, while dicey, is forgivable in my estimation.  Again, you may disagree.  

I’ve just seen that too much over the years. And it’s makes me ashamed of our fans every time.

[*Awful Llama*]

(09-06-2021, 07:11 PM)Nicomo Cosca Wrote: I’ve just seen that too much over the years. And it’s makes me ashamed of our fans every time.

I will agree to that.  I don't know Mike Brown personally of course, and I have many complaints with how he runs his football team.  But, I don't wish the man harm.  That is bad karma.  

So, to prove I'm not one of 'those people' and am capable of changing my mind with the advent of new information, I have edited my post to exclude that quote.   

[*Nate (formerly eliminate08)*]

(09-06-2021, 07:11 PM)Nicomo Cosca Wrote: I’ve just seen that too much over the years. And it’s makes me ashamed of our fans every time.

Same here Nicomo, the other quotes were just fine. No need for that one.

(09-06-2021, 07:19 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: I will agree to that.  I don't know Mike Brown personally of course, and I have many complaints with how he runs his football team.  But, I don't wish the man harm.  That is bad karma.  

So, to prove I'm not one of 'those people' and am capable of changing my mind with the advent of new information, I have edited my post to exclude that quote.   

Well done Llama.

[*Awful Llama*]

(09-06-2021, 07:21 PM)Nate (formerly eliminate08) Wrote: Same here Nicomo, the other quotes were just fine. No need for that one.


Well done Llama.

Thank you, kind sir 

[Nicomo Cosca]

(09-06-2021, 07:19 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: I will agree to that.  I don't know Mike Brown personally of course, and I have many complaints with how he runs his football team.  But, I don't wish the man harm.  That is bad karma.  

So, to prove I'm not one of 'those people' and am capable of changing my mind with the advent of new information, I have edited my post to exclude that quote.   

[Murdock2420]

(09-06-2021, 07:23 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: Thank you, kind sir 

(09-06-2021, 08:02 PM)Nicomo Cosca Wrote:

I guess when I posted the link I didn't even see that comment or it was such a horrible thing I passed over it. 

The one that called Zac Taylor a sentient Yeti cooler made me laugh so hard I spit out a drink.

[Shake n Blake]

(09-06-2021, 04:32 PM)Murdock2420 Wrote: It's also time for these yearly delights.

Of course the comments are always some of the most amazing things.

Such as: "I could hurl blame at Joe Montana or Joey Porter or Kimo von Oelhoffen or the Silverdome’s turf or the curse of Bo Jackson’s hip for the woes of my beloved Bengals during my lifetime, but ultimately this is my fault. I’m from Columbus. I could have chosen the Browns, or the Bears of my adopted hometown of Chicago. But, at the end of the day, I guess I’d rather pull for the team who skimps on scouting and employs a sentient Yeti cooler as a head coach. Zac Taylor has ten sportcoats in his closet and zero ties."

https://defector.com/why-your-team-sucks-2021-cincinnati-bengals/

These are always freaking hilarious. Thanks for posting the link bc I always forget about it.

Edit: Now that I've read it, it could've done without the shoehorned politics and shots at delicious Skyline chili.

[The Clapp]

(09-06-2021, 07:03 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: It was said in a forum where the idea is to top and out-funny everyone else.  Crossing the line is going to be inevitable.  And, while I would agree with you that randomly wishing death on a person is heinous, making such a remark in that context, while dicey, is forgivable in my estimation.  Again, you may disagree.  

How is wishing death on someone who is known to you, random?

[grampahol]

I guess some people just never learned the difference between being "edgy" and being a moron. As my dad used to say, just because you smell like ape sh*t doesn't mean you're Tarzan.

[fredtoast]

I think it is strange that people think it is funny to hurl horrible insults at people but then act disgusted when someone makes a joke about death.

You are basically saying it is fine to be a complete ass hole but start clutching you pearls when one of the assholes mentions death.

Personally I am fine with people joking. I don't see how you can take some of the comments serious and not others. Maybe too many people are just fine with people acting like ass holes.

[fredtoast]

(09-06-2021, 04:32 PM)Murdock2420 Wrote: Of course the comments are always some of the most amazing things.

Ahh, the annual "biggest victim" whining competition.  I know a few here who should be entered.

[Nicomo Cosca]

(09-07-2021, 09:27 AM)fredtoast Wrote: I think it is strange that people think it is funny to hurl horrible insults at people but then act disgusted when someone makes a joke about death.

You are basically saying it is fine to be a complete ass hole but start clutching you pearls when one of the assholes mentions death.

Personally I am fine with people joking. I don't see how you can take some of the comments serious and not others. Maybe too many people are just fine with people acting like ass holes.

The **** are you on about now? There’s a huge difference between saying someone sucks at football, and actively wishing an old man would hurry up and die because he sucks at running a team. And no, it’s not usually in a “joking” manner.

But I guess you haven’t had anything good to argue about in about 37 minutes, so you must really be jonesing!

[MasonDT70]

I'm curious, is skyline chili just something you have to grow up with to like? I'm not a cincinnati native and the 1 time I've tried it I thought it was terrible.

[Nicomo Cosca]

(09-07-2021, 09:32 AM)MasonDT70 Wrote: I'm curious, is skyline chili just something you have to grow up with to like? I'm not a cincinnati native and the 1 time I've tried it I thought it was terrible.

Tried it how? It’s no good just on its own, but on a 3-way or coney it’s great. It’s not meant to be eaten like regular chili.

[*Nately120*]

(09-07-2021, 09:27 AM)fredtoast Wrote: I think it is strange that people think it is funny to hurl horrible insults at people but then act disgusted when someone makes a joke about death.

You are basically saying it is fine to be a complete ass hole but start clutching you pearls when one of the assholes mentions death.

Personally I am fine with people joking.  I don't see how you can take some of the comments serious and not others.  Maybe too many people are just fine with people acting like ass holes.

Joking about age and death is a pretty standard thing, or maybe I'm just too Irish in that sense.  NFL owners are the closest thing Americans have to a royal family, so seeing teams like the Bears, Lions, Bengals etc who are owned by these absurdly old caricatures of the upper class is ripe for jokes.  Sitting in their owners boxes looking down upon the unwashed masses...the cryptkeepers who inherited the goose that laid the golden egg.


I wouldn't take any of it seriously.