more CLEAN funny pictures and jokes

[Bengalzona]

Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke. Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt cheek. The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies' buddy says "ya know,I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I aint niver seed nobody do it"

[masonbengals fan]

[*Nate (formerly eliminate08)*]

(08-19-2022, 02:08 PM)Bengalzona Wrote: Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke. Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt cheek. The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies' buddy says "ya know,I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I aint niver seed nobody do it"

Holy shit LMAO!!!

I see Festus and other Haggans saying this in my mind lol

[*Nate (formerly eliminate08)*]

(08-23-2022, 09:31 PM)Bengalzona Wrote:

Nice gal, that would make me feel better lol

[*Nate (formerly eliminate08)*]

(08-26-2022, 12:16 AM)Bengalzona Wrote:

My Dad told me to never pee on an electric fence...

[HarleyDog]

(08-23-2022, 09:31 PM)Bengalzona Wrote:

I’ve had a bad week. Gonna ask for both T&A.

[MileHighGrowler]

(08-26-2022, 12:25 AM)Nate (formerly eliminate08) Wrote: My Dad told me to never pee on an electric fence...

Mythbusters did an episode once about that (it was really about the 3rd rail on electric trains) and my recollection was that it wasn't possible for the electricity to travel back up your pee.  But honestly, there's no reason to pee specifically on something electrified, so I'm not sure I'd chance it. 

[HarleyDog]

Haha. This is for real. When I worked down there in Brookhaven, they even had a breaded shish kabobs. Them some deep-frying folk.

[Benton]

(08-26-2022, 10:52 AM)MileHighGrowler Wrote: Mythbusters did an episode once about that (it was really about the 3rd rail on electric trains) and my recollection was that it wasn't possible for the electricity to travel back up your pee.  But honestly, there's no reason to pee specifically on something electrified, so I'm not sure I'd chance it. 

One of my favorite memories was at a rodeo. A late teen/early 20s guy decided he didn't want to walk around the fenced in parking area and decides to jump over the three strands of fencing. He gets a run, grabs the top line to vault over and... folds like a rag. His feet get all tangled up and he spends a good minute screaming and peeing himself as the electric fence does its job.

[*Nate (formerly eliminate08)*]

(08-26-2022, 10:52 AM)MileHighGrowler Wrote: Mythbusters did an episode once about that (it was really about the 3rd rail on electric trains) and my recollection was that it wasn't possible for the electricity to travel back up your pee.  But honestly, there's no reason to pee specifically on something electrified, so I'm not sure I'd chance it. 

My Dad dared a kid to do it and it wasn't pretty but it was an electrified fence not a train rail so maybe there is a difference IDK.

(08-27-2022, 11:07 PM)Benton Wrote: One of my favorite memories was at a rodeo. A late teen/early 20s guy decided he didn't want to walk around the fenced in parking area and decides to jump over the three strands of fencing. He gets a run, grabs the top line to vault over and... folds like a rag. His feet get all tangled up and he spends a good minute screaming and peeing himself as the electric fence does its job.

Damn, rough night lol

[masonbengals fan]

[masonbengals fan]

[Bengalzona]

A family goes on vacation at a nudist colony.

The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."

"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."

Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."

"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."

"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."

"Why, honey?"

"Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."

[Forever Spinning Vinyl]

(09-08-2022, 06:56 PM)Bengalzona Wrote:

Not that bad of a flick. It had the unfortunate fate of following Ass Fudge 3: The ####ening. I mean, talk about a master . . . um piece. No wonder Ass Fudge 4 is in the .99 cent markdown bin. Does anybody remember the movie Orson Welles did after Citizen Kane?

[masonbengals fan]

[Bengalzona]

(09-09-2022, 03:14 AM)Forever Spinning Vinyl Wrote: Not that bad of a flick. It had the unfortunate fate of following Ass Fudge 3: The ####ening. I mean, talk about a master . . . um piece. No wonder Ass Fudge 4 is in the .99 cent markdown bin. Does anybody remember the movie Orson Welles did after Citizen Kane?

"Comrade Rosebud"?

[SladeX]

(09-09-2022, 03:51 PM)Bengalzona Wrote: "Comrade Rosebud"?

Komrade, you philistine,,,

[masonbengals fan]

[masonbengals fan]

[HarleyDog]

(09-17-2022, 09:47 AM)masonbengals fan Wrote:

Haha. I used to love getting up early and start drinking. Drink till about 2, take a a 3hr nap and start again. Made every weekend feel like a 4 day weekend. Not really, sometimes made them feel like they went by too fast. That was a loooooong time ago when I thought I was invincible.