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In light of all the hate and vitriol I have seen since the Bengals 3rd round selection, I have decided that Bengal fans simply don't realize what a cult hero we have in one Mr. Nick Vigil.
![[Image: jpeg]](http://www.sltrib.com/csp/mediapool/sites/dt.common.streams.StreamServer.cls?STREAMOID=LZnOzvqnov8CiCx4aBcZXc$daE2N3K4ZzOUsqbU5sYuszbkjuI2RS1pC0y3DENArWCsjLu883Ygn4B49Lvm9bPe2QeMKQdVeZmXF$9l$4uCZ8QDXhaHEp3rvzXRJFdy0KqPHLoMevcTLo3h8xh70Y6N_U_CryOsw6FTOdKL_jpQ-&CONTENTTYPE=image/jpeg)
He is going to come in here and take the NFL by storm! He will rise to near mythical status among not only Bengal fans, but fans of other teams also. So here is your chance to get in on the ground floor of the movement by joining the Nick Vigil Fan Club.
We will proudly call ourselves "Vigilantes!" (get it?). Your membership dues of a mere $19.99 will get you:
1. An Official Nick Vigil Fan Club T-shirt. It will say "Proud Vigilante" on the front, and "Holding Vigil over the NFL" on the back.
2. An Official Nick Vigil Fan Club faux Nick Vigil rat tail hair extension you can proudly wear at both home and away games.
3. A VHS copy of the movie The Breakfast Club which Nick mentioned he liked to watch on his Twitter feed.
4. An Official Nick Vigil Fan Club "I am a Vigilante" framed certificate to proudly display in your home or office.
5. Your Official Nick Vigil Fan Club "Charter Member" membership card, laminated and numbered, to carry in your purse or wallet.
To join, simply send $19.99 in cash in untraceable bills to Beaker, and make a Chuck Norris Nick Vigil awesomeness statement in this thread. Your membership number on your card will correspond to your post number in this thread. Please, no other types of comments. This thread is reserved for Nick Vigil worship only! Since I am the founding member, and have post #1, I submit the following:
Nick Vigil and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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I dunno.. I think you're reaching just a tad here, but that's ok by me.
To me he sounds like the hard boiled detective, private eye type who drinks to much, but always gets the platinum blonde on a dreary rainy night.
You can cue the bluesy sax music anytime now..
Maybe he should change his name to Guy Noir..
In the immortal words of my old man, "Wait'll you get to be my age!"
Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse, but the one comfort we have is Cincinnati sounds worse. ~Oliver Wendal Holmes Sr.
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(04-30-2016, 12:51 PM)grampahol Wrote: I dunno.. I think you're reaching just a tad here, but that's ok by me.
To me he sounds like the hard boiled detective, private eye type who drinks to much, but always gets the platinum blonde on a dreary rainy night.
You can cue the bluesy sax music anytime now..
Sheesh, some people. You clearly didn't read the thread rules in the first post. I am sorry, I cannot admit you into the club until you submit a proper Nick Vigil awesomeness statement.
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I'm in. Getting in early so I can laugh at the haters when he is a star!!!!!
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(04-30-2016, 12:54 PM)Beaker Wrote: Sheesh, some people. You clearly didn't read the thread rules in the first post. I am sorry, I cannot admit you into the club until you submit a proper Nick Vigil awesomeness statement.
I dunno..saying he sounds like an alcoholic private eye seems pretty awesome in itself..
In the immortal words of my old man, "Wait'll you get to be my age!"
Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse, but the one comfort we have is Cincinnati sounds worse. ~Oliver Wendal Holmes Sr.
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EPIC.
The Vigilante's shall hold a Vigil in the name of Bengaldom.
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(04-30-2016, 01:19 PM)grampahol Wrote: I dunno..saying he sounds like an alcoholic private eye seems pretty awesome in itself..
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, fear of Nick Vigil is called logic.
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(04-30-2016, 01:13 PM)The Real Deal Wrote: I'm in. Getting in early so I can laugh at the haters when he is a star!!!!!
While learning CPR, Nick Vigil brought the practice dummy back to life.
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Vigil eats raw meat and shits vegetables.
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(04-30-2016, 01:20 PM)Nate (formerly eliminate08) Wrote: EPIC.
The Vigilante's shall hold a Vigil in the name of Bengaldom.
When Nick Vigil was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay called "What is courage?" Nick Vigil got an A+ for turning in a blank paper with just his name on it.
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(04-30-2016, 01:24 PM)Beaker Wrote: While learning CPR, Nick Vigil brought the practice dummy back to life.
True, but can he turn sawdust into mighty oak trees regardless of species?
In the immortal words of my old man, "Wait'll you get to be my age!"
Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse, but the one comfort we have is Cincinnati sounds worse. ~Oliver Wendal Holmes Sr.
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(04-30-2016, 01:22 PM)Beaker Wrote: Jesus could walk on water. Nick Vigil can swim through land.
Trojan is now offering their condoms in 4 sizes: Small, Medium, Magnum, and Nick Vigil.
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(04-30-2016, 01:27 PM)BengalChris Wrote: Somehow I just don't see him striking fear in the Steeler's eyes the way Burfict does.
Not quite the awesomeness statement we're looking for here at the Nick Vigil fan club. Try again, you can still get in.
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This thread is too funny.
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Nick Vigil, the hero we deserve, and the one we need.
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(04-30-2016, 01:25 PM)StoneTheCrow Wrote: Vigil eats raw meat and shits vegetables.
Youre in. I await your $19.99.
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(04-30-2016, 01:27 PM)PDub80 Wrote: Trojan is now offering their condoms in 4 sizes: Small, Medium, Magnum, and Nick Vigil.
Youre in. I await your $19.99.
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