Bold predictions

[grampahol]

(07-05-2019, 10:29 AM)Bengalitis Wrote: Andy Dalton will change his jersey number to #7 to confuse Mike Brown and get an easy extension.

He'll change when he's half the player he was with #14.. Of course he'll have to shrink down to 3'1" and 110 lbs.. 

[samhain]

Glenn gets injured in camp. Doesn't play a game. Hart to LT, John Jerry to RT. Worst OL in football. Hart ranks in the bottom 3 Lts in the league and earns a contract extension bumping him to 7 years at 14 mil per guaranteed. Troy Blackburn pats himself on the back for not having to use the new self-checkouts at Walmart.

Bengals finish bottom 5 in both offense and defense, resulting in this being Andy's last year in stripes. AJ moves on to New England to try to get a title before retirement. Boyd wants the hell out of this shit show and eventually signs with his hometown Steelers.

Louie Anal Rim Job, er Anarumo, gets Leslie Fraziered due to his inability to run the defense, to the surprise of no one. Baker Mayfield literally puts his junk in Louie's face on national TV after a 5 TD performance. Mike Brown finds this arousing.

Jim Turner gets a DUI from a female police officer in Covington. Richie Incognito is in town, and he brought some excellent coke for them to share and they have a night on the town full of junk-grabbing and dick jokes. All goes well until they hit a checkpoint on the way to the 75 on-ramp. He gets the old mace and baton when backup arrives after she reports him grabbing her breasts. Paul Alexander becomes OL coach midseason.

In October, it is revealed that Jonah Williams has actually been dead for 7 months.

Joe Mixon is Bengalized and acting the fool by midseason. Barely totals 600 yards behind the train wreck o-line. Threatens to sit out 2020 if more isn't done to improve the OL before the season. Joe Mixon sits out 2020.

Zac Taylor excites the fan base by announcing he'll hire an all-new staff in the wake of the disaster. With the cupboard bare of ex Philbin-era Dolphins assistants, he replicates the entire 2016 UC Bearcats staff in PBS. Tommy Tuberville is hired to coordinate the offense and organize golf outings.

Bengals finish 2-14. Number 1 draft pick secured. Tua pulls an Eli because he doesn't want to be a part of this joke franchise. The Jake Dolegala era begins.

[*psychdoctor*]

(07-05-2019, 09:37 AM)Wyche Wrote: At this point, unless he falls off a cliff, that's who I want regardless of how the team does over the next two years.

Fromm will more likely be a Bengal.  Not saying I would mine him either.   Maybe Herbert.  

[fortyyearfan]

(06-29-2019, 03:45 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: I got drunk at a game where the Steelers won against us at home (geez, which game was that, there were so many). Anyway, after the game we went to Willy's and there was a steeler fan in there being loud and mouthy and waving a terrible towel. I got pissed (I was younger and drunk) and got up and ripped the towel from his hand and tossed it on the dance floor and started stepping on it. Grinding it into the ground. Then I picked it up and acted like I was whiping my butt with it, threw it back down and stomped some more on it. Then walked away.

I was motivated by all the cheering in that place by the Bengals fans who were cheering me on. Dude grabbed his towel off the floor and left. Several people bought me beer. I would not do that today. At 52, I have a little more sense and a little more leniency for rude people. Specially now that I remember all the stupid things I did in public when I was younger that made people shake their heads.

That's funny man,you have my respect always.

[EatonFan]

The Bengals will play 17 games and ONLY 17 games (not including the preseason)

[grampahol]

(06-29-2019, 03:45 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: I got drunk at a game where the Steelers won against us at home (geez, which game was that, there were so many). Anyway, after the game we went to Willy's and there was a steeler fan in there being loud and mouthy and waving a terrible towel. I got pissed (I was younger and drunk) and got up and ripped the towel from his hand and tossed it on the dance floor and started stepping on it. Grinding it into the ground. Then I picked it up and acted like I was whiping my butt with it, threw it back down and stomped some more on it. Then walked away.

I was motivated by all the cheering in that place by the Bengals fans who were cheering me on. Dude grabbed his towel off the floor and left. Several people bought me beer. I would not do that today. At 52, I have a little more sense and a little more leniency for rude people. Specially now that I remember all the stupid things I did in public when I was younger that made people shake their heads.

Oh c'mon Dawg.. You're not old enough to have ever been young and stupid.. 

[Fullrock]

(07-03-2019, 12:19 AM)Socal Bengals fan Wrote: We will suck for two more years then draft Trevor Lawrence.

Who then tears his ACL and UCL on one play in rookie mini-camp and misses the first two years of his career after reconstructive knee surgery and Tommy John.

[*bengalfan74*]

It's probably already been said I didn't go thru the whole thread but:

Eifert plays a full season.

[ezekiel23]

Tyler Eifert plays in every game this season,and thrives,goes to pro bowl.Dolegala earns backup Quarterback position,Finley to practice squad,Driskel released.

[fortyyearfan]

(07-01-2019, 12:04 PM)bengalguy71 Wrote: Dayton boy here. What bar were you in?

Oregon villiage district,the nite owl.A good friend of mine owned the place and I managed THE SUMMIT three doors down.Those were the days,I loved all of it.Stayed too wasted in those days.but it was a lot of fun.Too old for all that now,IF you were ever in the SUMMIT JOINT,you will know who I am. :andy:

[WestCoastBengalsFan]

(06-29-2019, 03:15 PM)fortyyearfan Wrote: I JUST want 11 wins and a championship win IN AFC GAME and a superbowl victory against the niners.That will make up for the beat down I got in 1981 in a bar in Dayton,ohio against 3 stinkin niner fans.It took all three to get me on the floor and I beat crap out of two of them,They should have known better to come into a bar in Dayton that was owned by my friend and start talking crap.Plus I was toasted on hard whiskey at the time,I no longer drink booze,but those were the days.I just loved all of it. :andy:

Can I nominate this for post of the year so far? 

[NKURyan]

Bengals have two TEs selected to the Pro Bowl.

[ElkValleyBengal]

Ken Anderson and Ken Riley are members of next year's Hall of Fame class.

[BengalFanInNJ]

(06-29-2019, 03:15 PM)fortyyearfan Wrote: I JUST want 11 wins and a championship win IN AFC GAME and a superbowl victory against the niners.That will make up for the beat down I got in 1981 in a bar in Dayton,ohio against 3 stinkin niner fans.It took all three to get me on the floor and I beat crap out of two of them,They should have known better to come into a bar in Dayton that was owned by my friend and start talking crap.Plus I was toasted on hard whiskey at the time,I no longer drink booze,but those were the days.I just loved all of it. :andy:

Yeah, but those 3 girls were pretty tough and had some really long nails. 

[J24]

Other bold predictions
The Defense will be ranked top 5 in yards and top 10 in points
5 members of the 2016 draft class will be consistent starters and have a PFF grade of 70 or above. Jackson, Boyd, Billings, Vigil, and Westerman.
Lawson will lead the team in sacks with 15.
Price will be a PFF top 10 center.

[Thundercloud]

We win a playoff game, and Mike Brown announces that he has now proved his ability to be a general manager, and retires.

[Bilbo Saggins]

Carl Lawson posts 10+ sacks

Joe Mixon will lead the league in RB receiving yards and RB receiving TDs by year's end

Billy Price receives first team Pro Bowl center sort of attention.

[fredtoast]

(07-05-2019, 10:41 PM)samhain Wrote: Glenn gets injured in camp.  Doesn't play a game.  Hart to LT, John Jerry to RT.  Worst OL in football.  Hart ranks in the bottom 3 Lts in the league and earns a contract extension bumping him to 7 years at 14 mil per guaranteed.  Troy Blackburn pats himself on the back for not having to use the new self-checkouts at Walmart.

Bengals finish bottom 5 in both offense and defense, resulting in this being Andy's last year in stripes.  AJ moves on to New England to try to get a title before retirement.  Boyd wants the hell out of this shit show and eventually signs with his hometown Steelers.

Louie Anal Rim Job, er Anarumo, gets Leslie Fraziered due to his inability to run the defense, to the surprise of no one.  Baker Mayfield literally puts his junk in Louie's face on national TV after a 5 TD performance.  Mike Brown finds this arousing.

Jim Turner gets a DUI from a female police officer in Covington.  Richie Incognito is in town, and he brought some excellent coke for them to share and they have a night on the town full of junk-grabbing and dick jokes.  All goes well until they hit a checkpoint on the way to the 75 on-ramp. He gets the old mace and baton when backup arrives after she reports him grabbing her breasts.  Paul Alexander becomes OL coach midseason.  

In October, it is revealed that Jonah Williams has actually been dead for 7 months.  

Joe Mixon is Bengalized and acting the fool by midseason.  Barely totals 600 yards behind the train wreck o-line.  Threatens to sit out 2020 if more isn't done to improve the OL before the season.  Joe Mixon sits out 2020.

Zac Taylor excites the fan base by announcing he'll hire an all-new staff in the wake of the disaster.  With the cupboard bare of ex Philbin-era Dolphins assistants, he replicates the entire 2016 UC Bearcats staff in PBS.  Tommy Tuberville is hired to coordinate the offense and organize golf outings.  

Bengals finish 2-14.  Number 1 draft pick secured.  Tua pulls an Eli because he doesn't want to be a part of this joke franchise.  The Jake Dolegala era begins.

Obviously someone has spent a lot of time working on his fantasy season.

[3wt]

(07-01-2019, 01:26 PM)fredtoast Wrote: 1.  Bengals reach bye week at 3-5.  They have a top 5 offense but 30th ranked defense.  Anarumo is fired and replaced by Marvin Lewis.  With improved defense Bengals finish 10-6, make playoffs, and beat Forty-Niners in Super Bowl.

2.  I get laid.

One of these is pretty unrealistic.   I'm not going to say which one...

[grampahol]

My bold prediction: Someday in the distant future, long after we're all dead and our great grandkids are as well and civilization has completely forgotten we even existed the world will come to the realization there's little difference between a bold prediction and just pulling something out of your ass.. And yet someone will still insist that their predictions are bold while others are just predictions.