Jim Nantz and Phil Simms

[Fan_in_Kettering]

Jim Nantz is a tool and Phil Simms is a jackwagon. I don't know what bothers me more: Jim's lips attached firmly to Ben Roethlisblubber's backside or Phil's obnoxious pronunciation of "Bingles." Anyway, I got to thinking about the other sport Jim announces -- golf -- and an idea came to me. About 25 years ago Gary McCord, a CBS announcer, was banned by the Masters Committee for saying something about Augusta National's greens being so fast they were "bikini waxed."

The Masters Committee, then a collection of lily-white very rich curmudgeons, didn't take to that very well and ordered CBS to keep Gary McCord off the course during Masters Week -- and like good little minions, CBS Sports complied. Gary McCord still can't be part of The Masters broadcast to this day.

Maybe Mr. Brown can tell CBS Sports that Jim Nantz and Phil Simms are no longer welcome in Paul Brown Stadium. Those guys suck so bad they made me appreciate Dan Fouts.