02-23-2016, 06:00 AM
Some thoughts.
Don't waste a lot of time worrying about someone who is rude. They are rude. That is their problem. It is not your problem. Clearly, you are not a rude person. Your problem is only how you choose to react to it. It sounds like you regret how you reacted because maybe you felt you should have asked him more questions. But you shouldn't have those kinds of regrets. His visit caught you off guard and surprised you.
As far as this guy, consider what you know about him. He is a young dude. That says a lot in itself. Chances are that at 25, he is not the most rational dude around. Consider also that he is probably socially awkward. He clearly doesn't know how to handle confrontations. He was almost certainly nervous about meeting you and probably more than a little scared. He probably had to pump up his adrenaline just to confront you. It's important to know that: this guy was probably more intimidated of you and than you are of him.
What else do you know about this guy? Is he married? Does he have kids? Does he work? What kind of job and hours? Do you know his name? Have you talked with him before? Does he seem to have a short-fuse? Do you think he does any drugs or alcohol? Does he look like a guy who worries about things?
Consider what you know about the guy, what you don't know about him or what you may assume and label them as such in your head.
If I were in this situation, I would approach the guy. I'd offer an apology for the music the other night as an icebreaker and see what he says. This can be a tricky conversation. The point of it is to break the ice and find out more about the guy. It is also about letting the guy know that you are mature and approachable so that you he doesn't feel the need to do the gorilla chest-thumping routine whenever your around. In that light, you would want to avoid getting defensive about how loud your music was. Get to know the guy a little. You either find out he is not so bad, or you'll find out why he is so f***ed up.
Then, after I talked to the guy, I'd come home from work and turn on my soundbar at the same level I had it before. If he comes over, I'd tell him that I had set the volume lower. Then I'd ask "What's going on with this anyway? Why does this bother you so much, (insert dude's name)?" If he has a good reason for the request, make him spit it out.
Don't waste a lot of time worrying about someone who is rude. They are rude. That is their problem. It is not your problem. Clearly, you are not a rude person. Your problem is only how you choose to react to it. It sounds like you regret how you reacted because maybe you felt you should have asked him more questions. But you shouldn't have those kinds of regrets. His visit caught you off guard and surprised you.
As far as this guy, consider what you know about him. He is a young dude. That says a lot in itself. Chances are that at 25, he is not the most rational dude around. Consider also that he is probably socially awkward. He clearly doesn't know how to handle confrontations. He was almost certainly nervous about meeting you and probably more than a little scared. He probably had to pump up his adrenaline just to confront you. It's important to know that: this guy was probably more intimidated of you and than you are of him.
What else do you know about this guy? Is he married? Does he have kids? Does he work? What kind of job and hours? Do you know his name? Have you talked with him before? Does he seem to have a short-fuse? Do you think he does any drugs or alcohol? Does he look like a guy who worries about things?
Consider what you know about the guy, what you don't know about him or what you may assume and label them as such in your head.
If I were in this situation, I would approach the guy. I'd offer an apology for the music the other night as an icebreaker and see what he says. This can be a tricky conversation. The point of it is to break the ice and find out more about the guy. It is also about letting the guy know that you are mature and approachable so that you he doesn't feel the need to do the gorilla chest-thumping routine whenever your around. In that light, you would want to avoid getting defensive about how loud your music was. Get to know the guy a little. You either find out he is not so bad, or you'll find out why he is so f***ed up.
Then, after I talked to the guy, I'd come home from work and turn on my soundbar at the same level I had it before. If he comes over, I'd tell him that I had set the volume lower. Then I'd ask "What's going on with this anyway? Why does this bother you so much, (insert dude's name)?" If he has a good reason for the request, make him spit it out.
![[Image: 416686247_404249095282684_84217049823664...e=659A7198]](https://scontent.fphx1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/416686247_404249095282684_8421704982366424390_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=3635dc&_nc_ohc=p8hMrwwk1IoAX8mnFLJ&_nc_ht=scontent.fphx1-2.fna&oh=00_AfBXs4gKHr4knFejO874dfV3zzLd_bq4GiUqHxGWFlwbug&oe=659A7198)
