Parenting and Lying

[StLucieBengal]

(04-25-2016, 11:34 AM)xxlt Wrote: Many parents lie to their children routinely. There are the well known lies like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and the less well known lies which my vary from household to household (such as mommy was in her room practicing screaming louder than the vacuum cleaner in case she ever needs to call for help while cleaning).

Now the parenthetical example above is sort of understandable, but we could argue that mommy would be better served by telling the child it was none of his concern why she was yelling and leave it at that rather than lying about the screams emanating from her chamber. And the other examples are lies certainly more widely told, but are they told to the benefit or detriment of our children and our culture?

I have heard many adults talk about how angry they were when they realized as children their parents had been telling (with zeal) such whoppers for a long time. Suddenly the people they were surest they could trust the most were no longer trustworthy. And, I have heard many parents fume over their older children (who know damn good and well they are deliberately choosing to lie to the parent(s)) blatantly lying to them. But why should this surprise mom and pop? What is good for the goose is good for the gander, right? If as a parent you have modeled lying as something to not only be done but to be done with zeal and not an iota of shame, how can you be shocked and angered when your children lie to you with zeal and not an iota of shame?

Will one or more (or most) here make the case that somehow this lying to children is a benefit to society or will one or more (or most) condemn the lies and call for a paradigm shift?

You are making the assumption that children are on the same level as parents.    They are not ....   There are some things that children do not need to know about until they are old enough to handle it mentally and emotionally.   

You bring up modeling lying behavior.... It's never permissbale to lie to an adult especially your parents.     
There is adult level and kid level.... Each need to stay in their lane.   

Telling your kids that mommy and daddy wrestle isn't a lie.    It's just all they need to know.   That's a parent staying in their lane and not burdening their child with adult things.