more CLEAN funny pictures and jokes

[Bengalzona]

A tribute to Rodney Dangerfield:

- "I told my doctor that I had suicidal tendencies. He told me from now on I gotta pay my bill in advance."

- "My dentist tells me my teeth are no good, ya know,...so he pulls them and gives me dentures....NOW he tells me I need braces."

- "My neighborhood is rough I tell ya...The Police Station has a Peep Hole in their door"

- "Our house caught on fire in the middle of the night, the kids woke up screaming, my wife says "shhhhh Quiet, you'll wake your father""

- "My wife's a terrible cook , in my house we pray AFTER we eat"

- "Driving down the highway I stuck my head out the window, State Trooper pulled me over and gave me a ticket for mooning"

- "We were really poor too. At Christmas time we couldn't even afford tinsil for the tree. We had to wait for Grandpa to sneeze."

- "I've had a rough day. This morning I put on a shirt, a button came off. I went out to get in my car, the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom."

- "I worked at a club. Going in, you went down two steps.....physically and socially."

- "I could tell my parents hated me, my bath toys were a toaster and a radio"

- "I drink too much, last time I gave a urine sample it had an Olive in it"

- "I called my wife the other day and told her that I'd been thinking about the last time we had sex and I was getting excited. She said, "Who is this?""

- "Last night I went to a discount massage parlor. It was self service."

- "Life is having a mother in law that sucks and a wife that don't."

- "My wife and I were happy for twenty years....then we met."