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[Bengalzona]

(05-21-2017, 11:50 AM)SunsetBengal Wrote: ..

An actual conversation with my son yesterday:

Son: My friend is a jerk.

Me: Is he acting like a jerk or is he an actual jerk?

Son: How does that work?

Me: Everyone acts like a jerk sometimes. Every once in awhile, we do a jerk thing or two. And people warn us. They say, "You're acting like a jerk!". A "jerk" is someone who does jerk things a lot. When you accumulate enough jerk actions, you are bestowed the title of "jerk". Instead of saying that you are acting "like" a jerk, people will tell you, "You are a jerk".

Son: Oh! I get it.

Me: Now, you can be friends with a jerk. Come to think of it, I have had many friends over the years who are jerks. It all depends upon what percentage of their time they spend being a jerk. There is only so much that you can overlook.

Son: What if they are a jerk all of the time?

Me: In that case, they are no longer a jerk. They are an asshole. An asshole does jerk things all of the time. You cannot be friends with an asshole. Their very nature defies the act of friendship. It's an abusive situation.

Son (laughing): I get it! Thanks!

Me: A butthole is someone who spends the majority of their time being a jerk, but not all of their time. It's a special classification of jerk. Kinda hard to be friends with someone who is a butthole.

Son: (laughs continuously for five minutes)