Why your team sucks

[Bengalzona]

Reading the one for the Raiders, LMAO:

"This is how the Raiders work. They exist exclusively to waste your time. "

"Also, Mark Davis is scheming to ditch Oakland once and for all. If everything goes to plan—Jesus, who I am kidding? these are the Raiders—the team will skip town in 2016 in order to share a stadium near Los Angeles with the Chargers. Just one big stadium full of suck for unsuspecting citizens."

"Here is where I remind you that the Raiders’ original proposed stadium design included an eternal flame in memory of Al Davis, which seems redundant, given that Hell itself is ablaze 24/7. The Davis Cauldron was scrapped from the plans—I assume funds were reallocated for the stadium’s inevitable need for in-house correctional facilities—but the whole saga is a helpful reminder that the only thing worse than having your team run by a living Al Davis is having your team run by a dead Al Davis."

"You can tell Ghost Al is still running the team by its acquisitions over the offseason. Is that Trent Richardson? You know it is. I think it’ll be nice for fans to witness the only thing in existence slower than traffic over the Bay Bridge."