12-08-2017, 07:43 AM
(12-06-2017, 10:05 PM)BenZoo2 Wrote: Dear Santa,Dear BenZoo2,
I've been a good boy this year. I go to work, take care of my family, pay my bills and taxes. I don't abuse drugs or alcohol, try to raise good kids and be a good neighbor. I watch my local nfl team (even attended a game), manage all my fantasy teams and watch the red zone channel every Sunday.
All I want for Christmas is for the brown family to sell the team to a competent owner who will keep the team in town. And maybe season tickets. With a parking pass.
Thanks Santa, you're the best!
Alright you jolly fat %#^}. Since you didn't grant my main wish, can you throw the following stocking stuffers my way?
1. Mike brown retire, Katie surprises us by running things differently
2. Marvin is not brought back. Replaced by a coach that can beat shitsburg and win playoff games
3. A team that looks to improve itself via all means possible, including free agency. They don't have to be the biggest spenders, but stop with the bargain bin shopping. Exhibit A, sign Andrew Norwell.
That's all. Surely a man of your stature can make that happen?
P.S. And a Ben-gal cheerleader, in full costume, under the tree?
What you ask for is unrealistic. I realize because I have a magic sleigh people believe me to be a miracle worker, but your request is outlandish. I am not in the business of miracle work of this magnitude. I will however discuss this with the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy to see if we might be able to accomplish the following:
1. Re-sign Marvin Lewis to 2 year extension to continue to build your character.
2. Draft another non essential 1st rounder to allow you the opportunity to gripe about the wasted pick and wonder if the guy will ever dress for a game his first and second year.
3. Allow Gunther to remain on the staff in order to maintain a defense that allows gaps in the middle of the field large enough for my sleigh and all my reindeer to land on all 3rd and longs.
4. Most of all, I will make sure you get to see Mike Brown live well over 100 as the Bengals continue to be the Steelers whipping boy for the immediate future. With that said I know you are doubting this reality due to shelf life of Big Ben, but have no fear I will make sure they hit on next franchise QB this year in draft. He will not have red hair BTW.
Love Santa
Pittsburgh's #1 Fan
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