Absurd, and Hopefully Humorous to Some, Hypothetical Question...

[BrownAssClown]

"1.) Katie requires a lot of, shall we say, attention. Like it not, she has needs, and it is now your job to satisfy and meet said needs. At all times, whatever time of day, and whatever your mood, you must be prepared to satisfy her. No outside help, or enhancements, are to be used. You either can deliver or you can't. Maybe you have no problems taking on this role. Heck, maybe you welcome it. Although, maybe you're just taking one for the team too (pun 100% intended). Regardless, this is part of the gig."

I would agree to everything on one condition, when were doing the "deed" she has to wear a bag at all times.