Super Homer time-killer thread

[*Nately120*]

So I've garnered a reputation for being a downer or calling people out for what I see as being over the top homerism SO I'd like to take this lull in the off-season to open the floor to some of the most gleefully homeristic takes we can have.  And I want to get in on the action, because I long to don the orange-tinted glases.

Is it possible to somewhat reasonably come up with reasons that the 2020 Bengals are in a better position right now and/or in the near future than any other NFL team?  Can we, without resorting to alien abductions or something crazy like that, come up with semi-plausible reasons for this?  Pick an NFL team and let us discuss why only a fool would root for them rather than us.

Let's get homer-ey.  I want in on the wave of black and orange euphoria!