05-28-2020, 03:02 PM
Oh, boy, let me take a shot at this one. As several of you know, I lost a 5 month old son in 2013. He was a twin to my middle son.
I look back on that time and I was just numb the whole day, and then when the nights rolled around, I was just crushed and cried - a lot. Don't be afraid to let your emotions out. There's nothing wrong with crying or venting. I would be worried if you lost someone close to you and you didn't break down occasionally. It's natural and it's healthy.
I was lucky to have a 3 year old and his 5 month old twin brother at the time. It kept me so busy that I didn't have much time to think about how my heart had just been shattered. Now, this next part is just how I dealt with it. I prayed a lot. I also talked to my son that I lost. I believe in God and I believe in people going to heaven. If you don't, that's ok, it's all in how you see things. For me, it gave me the comfort and stability to try to deal with my grief.
Eventually the pain will start to become less severe. I still think about my son every day. I can't go to the cemetery to this day because I break down and cry uncontrollably, but I still spend time "talking" with him every night.
There is no right answer and no magic formula, but don't be afraid to talk to someone. You'd be surprised at who comes out of the woodwork and really helps you out. I had a friend that I hadn't talked to in 15 years that called me out of the blue in June that summer (my son died in October). She was like a little sister to me. Turns out that her dad gets diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on September 11 and my son dies on October 19th. Her dad died on January 5th. We got each other through that and we really haven't talked much since, but there's no doubt that she was placed back in my life and me in hers for a reason.
I look back on that time and I was just numb the whole day, and then when the nights rolled around, I was just crushed and cried - a lot. Don't be afraid to let your emotions out. There's nothing wrong with crying or venting. I would be worried if you lost someone close to you and you didn't break down occasionally. It's natural and it's healthy.
I was lucky to have a 3 year old and his 5 month old twin brother at the time. It kept me so busy that I didn't have much time to think about how my heart had just been shattered. Now, this next part is just how I dealt with it. I prayed a lot. I also talked to my son that I lost. I believe in God and I believe in people going to heaven. If you don't, that's ok, it's all in how you see things. For me, it gave me the comfort and stability to try to deal with my grief.
Eventually the pain will start to become less severe. I still think about my son every day. I can't go to the cemetery to this day because I break down and cry uncontrollably, but I still spend time "talking" with him every night.
There is no right answer and no magic formula, but don't be afraid to talk to someone. You'd be surprised at who comes out of the woodwork and really helps you out. I had a friend that I hadn't talked to in 15 years that called me out of the blue in June that summer (my son died in October). She was like a little sister to me. Turns out that her dad gets diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on September 11 and my son dies on October 19th. Her dad died on January 5th. We got each other through that and we really haven't talked much since, but there's no doubt that she was placed back in my life and me in hers for a reason.
