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**grampahol** · 06-28-2018, 05:13 AM

(06-22-2018, 07:43 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: Don’t be so hard on yourself. Most everyone has shit their not proud of in their past. Everyone handles things differently. We are imperfect. I sometimes get a flashback of something stupid I did last week, or even 20 years ago that makes me cringe in a thought of “wtf were you thinking?” Accept the imperfection for what it is and live today for what it is.

I have remain hard on myself about these things . They nearly destroyed my life and almost sent me to prison on numerous occasions . I have a pretty good life now, but I recognize just how easy it would be to slide back to the old crap I got away with for too long . My son is still doing some of the same crap I did and just now beginning to come to terms with it to turn his own life around .
The easiest thing would be to tell myself I can handle a case of beer every few days or shoot an 8 ball up, but I know exactly where it would lead me to ..I have too much to lose. It's not the money. I really don't care about the money, but I never want my grandkids or my kids for that matter to go through the same kind of bs I put myself through. 20 years in and out of jail and rehab is no life .
The life I lived is not something I'm proud of ,but I'll never pretend it didn't happen or pretend it didn't affect the people I care about.
[Image: pmS7UwmTj]

20 years ago this kind of stuff would have set rotting away in a basement at best. My tools and workshop would have been sold off for drug money .. I like being able to make nice things for people and just give them away because I can. Back then I would have sold it all off and gotten nothing in return.. It's little stuff like this that keeps me from wanting to stay hard on myself .

**HarleyDog** · 06-28-2018, 06:59 AM

I greatly respect your point. Using the past to motivate your future can be a good thing in your situation.

**3wt** · 06-28-2018, 11:05 AM

(06-22-2018, 01:56 AM)grampahol Wrote: No need to apologize . I could give some interesting stories about drunk driving that I won't. As a young man I tempted fate far too often and got away with it until I didn't and even that wasn't enough. Lost jobs, cars, fines, license and respect weren't enough. It wasn't until I just lost the taste for alcohol and sobered up enough to realize just how badly I'd mucked up my life. Absolutely nothing to be proud about. The only good thing I can say about my dui convictions is I never harmed another person. If I had to find even the slightest justification it would probably be my mothers death and myself trying to drink it out of my memory, but it didn't work. She still died and I still have the ugly record that will haunt me the rest of my days..

I share a lot of similarities in your history - and like you I was fortunate enough not to hurt someone. How I do not know. I see it as the grace of God.   I never got addicted, but did dreadful things when I was drinking.   And I have no idea why I did not get addicted to meth and coke. All my friends did and most of them are dead.

I admire your courage and resolve. I'm very glad to hear your son is starting to see the light.   I have two daughters I have great concerns about. Their judgment is so much better than mine was, but the pattern of not being addicted blinds them to both that potential and the damage their drinking episodes is doing.

Anyway God bless and keep you Grampahol.

**bengals67** · 06-28-2018, 11:13 AM

(06-28-2018, 05:13 AM)grampahol Wrote: I have remain hard on myself about these things . They nearly destroyed my life and almost sent me to prison on numerous occasions . I have a pretty good life now, but I recognize just how easy it would be to slide back to the old crap I got away with for too long . My son is still doing some of the same crap I did and just now beginning to come to terms with it to turn his own life around .
The easiest thing would be to tell myself I can handle a case of beer every few days or shoot an 8 ball up, but I know exactly where it would lead me to ..I have too much to lose. It's not the money. I really don't care about the money, but I never want my grandkids or my kids for that matter to go through the same kind of bs I put myself through. 20 years in and out of jail and rehab is no life .
The life I lived is not something I'm proud of ,but I'll never pretend it didn't happen or pretend it didn't affect the people I care about.

20 years ago this kind of stuff would have set rotting away in a basement at best. My tools and workshop would have been sold off for drug money .. I like being able to make nice things for people and just give them away because I can. Back then I would have sold it all off and gotten nothing in return.. It's little stuff like this that keeps me from wanting to stay hard on myself .

I have alcoholics in my family. Very proud of folks who have the courage to deal with this horrible disease.

A kid getting a DUI is nothing more than an opportunity to grow as a person. We have all been there one way or the other.

**sandwedge** · 06-28-2018, 12:24 PM

(06-28-2018, 05:13 AM)grampahol Wrote: I have remain hard on myself about these things . They nearly destroyed my life and almost sent me to prison on numerous occasions . I have a pretty good life now, but I recognize just how easy it would be to slide back to the old crap I got away with for too long . My son is still doing some of the same crap I did and just now beginning to come to terms with it to turn his own life around .
The easiest thing would be to tell myself I can handle a case of beer every few days or shoot an 8 ball up, but I know exactly where it would lead me to ..I have too much to lose. It's not the money. I really don't care about the money, but I never want my grandkids or my kids for that matter to go through the same kind of bs I put myself through. 20 years in and out of jail and rehab is no life .
The life I lived is not something I'm proud of ,but I'll never pretend it didn't happen or pretend it didn't affect the people I care about.

20 years ago this kind of stuff would have set rotting away in a basement at best. My tools and workshop would have been sold off for drug money .. I like being able to make nice things for people and just give them away because I can. Back then I would have sold it all off and gotten nothing in return.. It's little stuff like this that keeps me from wanting to stay hard on myself .

Harley is right, don't be hard on yourself, we all have demons. How we battle them is a true testament to the type of person we are. After 30 years in the Navy, I battle depression and have been known to set up in the middle of my sleep yelling orders. Scaring my wife and step kids.
If it hadn't of been for those kids, who knows...

**3wt** · 06-28-2018, 03:20 PM

(06-28-2018, 12:24 PM)sandwedge Wrote: Harley is right, don't be hard on yourself, we all have demons. How we battle them is a true testament to the type of person we are. After 30 years in the Navy, I battle depression and have been known to set up in the middle of my sleep yelling orders. Scaring my wife and step kids.
If it hadn't of been for those kids, who knows...

I know, right? Kids are game changers of the most wonderful (and perplexing) kind.

30 years in the Navy. Thanks for the service man.

And I've only been clinically depressed once in my life. It was the side effect of a medication. I never knew how tough it could be. You'll be in my prayers.