What to do with your ashes?

[fredtoast]

I am going to be cremated. Trying to decide what I want done with my ashes.

I am thinking maybe stuffed in a dildo and mailed to Scarlett Johansson. There is a nice set called the "21 Gram Memory Box. (21 grams is supposed to be the weight of the human soul.) The carved wood box opens using a gold-plated brass key that can be worn as a necklace. It incorporates an amplifier for playing music (our song) from an iPhone that slots into the base. It also contains a scent diffuser (my favorite after shave) and a small gold-plated urn that holds up to 21 grams of ashes inside a blown-glass dildo.

So what would you guys have done with your ashes?

[Tiger Teeth]

I'm going to be cremated as well. And I don't really care what they do with my ashes. But I must admit, the ScarJo idea is intriguing.

[Bengalzona]

I was going to be cremated and have my ashes incorporated into the plastic exterior of a massive dildo to be given to Scar Jo. But with my luck, it would be lost in the mail and end up with Kaitlyn Jenner.

[HarleyDog]

If my ashes were to be put in an ashtray, in a bar, that would be fitting. Too much smokin and drinking probably got me thereto begin with. Although, I hope my wife puts them on a mantle and comes home everyday and says Hi Mike. Hope you kept the house clean while you were taking the day off?

Only wish 10yrs later I could say something back and scare the holy bejesus out of her.

[Belsnickel]

I want my ashes to be put in a biodegradable vessel and buried somewhere special to me and my family. Where that place is, hard to say at this point. There are a couple of options including the local Scout camp or the university I work at (I have pretty much grown up there and it is the epicenter of so much in my life). There is a riverbank I have spent a lot of time and some other places here and there.

[HarleyDog]

(06-22-2018, 06:08 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I am going to be cremated.  Trying to decide what I want done with my ashes.

I am thinking maybe stuffed in a dildo and mailed to Scarlett Johansson.  There is a nice set called the "21 Gram Memory Box.  (21 grams is supposed to be the weight of the human soul.)  The carved wood box opens using a gold-plated brass key that can be worn as a necklace.  It incorporates an amplifier for playing music (our song) from an iPhone that slots into the base. It also contains a scent diffuser (my favorite after shave) and a small gold-plated urn that holds up to 21 grams of ashes inside a blown-glass dildo.

So what would you guys have done with your ashes?

I'm pretty sure she's been screwed over by an attorney before. Hell, who hasn't? I would plan on a different dead guy ash fantasy. Let me think what might be appropriate?


Anyone have any ideas?

[Bengalzona]

(06-22-2018, 07:11 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: If my ashes were to be put in an ashtray, in a bar, that would be fitting. Too much smokin and drinking probably got me thereto begin with. Although, I hope my wife puts them on a mantle and comes home everyday and says Hi Mike. Hope you kept the house clean while you were taking the day off?

Only wish 10yrs later I could say something back and scare the holy bejesus out of her.

How about being made into a shot glass at the local pub. That way, you can always drink with your buddies!

[HarleyDog]

(06-22-2018, 08:48 PM)Bengalzona Wrote: How about being made into a shot glass at the local pub. That way, you can always drink with your buddies!

I don't want my buddies mouth on me? 

[*Go Cards*]

Want the ashes of my heart and penis to go to my love to do with as she wishes.

Want all the good part ashes left to be spilled out on the Ohio Kentucky border sonce most of my life's has been there.

But the ashes of my ass, feet, my dirty socks, dirty underwear I want dropped from a plane on Sunday at Heinz field on the fans and players during a Ravens- steelers game along with my big jar of pennies.

[SunsetBengal]

Just dump mine into the big vat at the black pepper factory. That way I can continue to spice up the lives of an untold number of people.

[jfkbengals]

(06-22-2018, 09:28 PM)Go Cards Wrote: Want the ashes of my heart and penis to go to my love to do with as she wishes.

Want all the good part ashes left to be spilled out on the Ohio Kentucky border sonce most of my life's has been there.

But the ashes of my ass, feet, my dirty socks, dirty underwear I want dropped from a plane on Sunday at Heinz field on the fans and players during a Ravens- steelers game along with my big jar of pennies.

Soooo......... you're saying your penis is not one of your good parts.

Sorry to hear that.

Mine is probably my best part!

[SunsetBengal]

(06-22-2018, 10:15 PM)jfkbengals Wrote: Soooo......... you're saying your penis is not one of your good parts.

Sorry to hear that.

Mine is probably my best part!

Some of us with large ones find it to be a curse, at some point in time..

[*michaelsean*]

Spread out west like at the Grand Canyon or one of those parks in Utah. Seems cool to be a part of those forever.

[*Go Cards*]

(06-22-2018, 10:15 PM)jfkbengals Wrote: Soooo......... you're saying your penis is not one of your good parts.

Sorry to hear that.

Mine is probably my best part!

Hell no, the damn thing has a mind of its own and always gets me in trouble. 

Still fond of it anyway though. 

[*Wyche'sWarrior*]

Turn 2....Darlington Raceway.

[fredtoast]

Recently a local sports journalist wrote a story about how he had secretly scattered some of the ashes of one of his friends on the field at Neyland Stadium where the Vols play. Next week he wrote a follow up article about all the people who wrote in to say that they knew of numerous people who had had some of their ashes tossed on the field by various athletic department employees, security guards, groundskeepers, and others who had access.

[Sabretooth]

My choices would be to spread my ashes where I had the most fun.

Crabbing on the York river
Bowling in night leagues
Various female bedrooms,hotels,etc
Family get togethers
Card games and cookouts with friends
Working on cars and projects with friends

In hopes of not creeping folks out I would settle for dumping ashes in the bowling alley parking lot or the York River

[HarleyDog]

(06-23-2018, 03:20 PM)Sabretooth Wrote: My choices would be to spread my ashes where I had the most fun.

Crabbing on the York river
Bowling in night leagues
Various female bedrooms,hotels,etc
Family get togethers
Card games and cookouts with friends
Working on cars and projects with friends

In hopes of not creeping folks out I would settle for dumping ashes in the bowling alley parking lot or the York River

Here's my take on the matter. Kinda sucks to be honest. I know I joked earlier, but, even though I'm dead, I really fear being discarded as I never lived? I've done a lot of good AND a lot of bad. But I did leave a footprint of progress. It's disappointing sometimes thinking (And I tend to overthink a lot of things) about being forgotten. But hell, I'm never going to not be forgotten. My great grandkids wont GAF about me or what I did. Unless I did something that gave them praise for being related, I'm a goner?

Shit, reading this? I think I'm afraid to die? 

In the back of my mind, I always wanted to be something great to remember. I wanted like my wife to bury me in a glass coffee table or something and hopefully strip naked and sit on my face. But in reality, she will probably remarry, and I will end up with balls pressed against the glass.

Shit, why wouldn't I be afraid to die? That's bad shit right there! 

[Sabretooth]

(06-23-2018, 03:42 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Here's my take on the matter. Kinda sucks to be honest. I know I joked earlier, but, even though I'm dead, I really fear being discarded as I never lived? I've done a lot of good AND a lot of bad. But I did leave a footprint of progress. It's disappointing sometimes thinking (And I tend to overthink a lot of things) about being forgotten. But hell, I'm never going to not be forgotten. My great grandkids wont GAF about me or what I did. Unless I did something that gave them praise for being related, I'm a goner?

Shit, reading this? I think I'm afraid to die? 

In the back of my mind, I always wanted to be something great to remember. I wanted like my wife to bury me in a glass coffee table or something and hopefully strip naked and sit on my face. But in reality, she will probably remarry, and I will end up with balls pressed against the glass.

Shit, why wouldn't I be afraid to die? That's bad shit right there! 

With all the strong positive feelings you've shared over the years I hope she knows how valuable she is in real life.

[Tiger Teeth]

(06-23-2018, 03:42 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Here's my take on the matter. Kinda sucks to be honest. I know I joked earlier, but, even though I'm dead, I really fear being discarded as I never lived? I've done a lot of good AND a lot of bad. But I did leave a footprint of progress. It's disappointing sometimes thinking (And I tend to overthink a lot of things) about being forgotten. But hell, I'm never going to not be forgotten. My great grandkids wont GAF about me or what I did. Unless I did something that gave them praise for being related, I'm a goner?

Shit, reading this? I think I'm afraid to die? 

In the back of my mind, I always wanted to be something great to remember. I wanted like my wife to bury me in a glass coffee table or something and hopefully strip naked and sit on my face. But in reality, she will probably remarry, and I will end up with balls pressed against the glass.

Shit, why wouldn't I be afraid to die? That's bad shit right there! 

You're not going anywhere for a while.  You're to ornery to die anytime soon.