Posts: 40,628
Threads: 1,062
Joined: May 2015
I recently made a horrible mistake because I misunderstood something my friend told me. He had set me up with a woman he knew from work. We had only had a couple of dates when she invited me to meet some friends of her friends who were taking her out for her birthday. I felt I should bring a present so I asked my friend for a suggestion. He said she like Firkins, but I thought he said "merkins" so I bought her a nice one. Needless to say, she was shocked when she opened it in front of her friends. In fact I did not get a chance to explain the misunderstanding because I had to flee for my safety. Women's shoes can do a lot of damage.
So to try and make it up to her I ordered her a nice oak firkin from The Country Porch and sent it with a note of apology.
Unfortunately she was a huge fan of guitarist Michael Lee Firkins, and did not even know that a "firkin" was a small wooden cask. So she just thinks I am really weird.
I wonder if she kept the merkin?
Posts: 19,118
Threads: 235
Reputation:
177846
Joined: May 2015
(06-11-2019, 03:30 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I recently made a horrible mistake because I misunderstood something my friend told me. He had set me up with a woman he knew from work. We had only had a couple of dates when she invited me to meet some friends of her friends who were taking her out for her birthday. I felt I should bring a present so I asked my friend for a suggestion. He said she like Firkins, but I thought he said "merkins" so I bought her a nice one. Needless to say, she was shocked when she opened it in front of her friends. In fact I did not get a chance to explain the misunderstanding because I had to flee for my safety. Women's shoes can do a lot of damage.
So to try and make it up to her I ordered her a nice oak firkin from The Country Porch and sent it with a note of apology.
Unfortunately she was a huge fan of guitarist Michael Lee Firkins, and did not even know that a "firkin" was a small wooden cask. So she just thinks I am really weird.
I wonder if she kept the merkin?
Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake! 
Posts: 20,263
Threads: 161
Reputation:
55720
Joined: May 2015
Location: Cincinnati
I can't tell if this is real as I don't know what any of those things are.
“History teaches that grave threats to liberty often come in times of urgency, when constitutional rights seem too extravagant to endure.”-Thurgood Marshall
Posts: 19,118
Threads: 235
Reputation:
177846
Joined: May 2015
(06-12-2019, 09:15 AM)michaelsean Wrote: I can't tell if this is real as I don't know what any of those things are.
I didnt either. I thought it was a pair of shoes. However, a merken is a wig for the pubic area. Oh the power of Google. 
It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"
Posts: 6,552
Threads: 88
Reputation:
45451
Joined: Apr 2017
(06-11-2019, 03:51 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake!
Posts: 6,552
Threads: 88
Reputation:
45451
Joined: Apr 2017
(06-12-2019, 09:21 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: I didnt either. I thought it was a pair of shoes. However, a merken is a wig for the pubic area. Oh the power of Google.
It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"
Glad someone looked it up, because I was like what the hell is a firkin merkin!
Posts: 25,899
Threads: 652
Reputation:
243698
Joined: May 2015
Location: Jackson, OH
(06-12-2019, 10:57 AM)sandwedge Wrote: Glad someone looked it up, because I was like what the hell is a firkin merkin!
You know, it's a merkin. It goes around your firkin parts..
Volson is meh, but I like him, and he has far exceeded my expectations
-Frank Booth 1/9/23
Posts: 40,628
Threads: 1,062
Joined: May 2015
(06-11-2019, 03:51 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Morale of the story: if your mind is stuck on firkin a girl, your merkin a big mistake!
Rep.
Posts: 40,628
Threads: 1,062
Joined: May 2015
(06-12-2019, 09:21 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: It's a Fred story. Kinda equal to a Ripley's "Believe it or not!"
Just a little something I came up with while munching on some gherkins.
Posts: 3,124
Threads: 75
Reputation:
19563
Joined: Feb 2017
(06-12-2019, 01:40 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Just a little something I came up with while munching on some gherkins.
Or jerkin your gherkin?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Posts: 3,267
Threads: 195
Reputation:
16836
Joined: May 2015
Location: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!
I like eating at Perkins. Give me the Dirty Dozen please.
![[Image: Zu8AdZv.png?1]](https://i.imgur.com/Zu8AdZv.png?1)
Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female, Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.
Posts: 10,718
Threads: 63
Reputation:
57608
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 14,292
Threads: 294
Reputation:
31588
Joined: May 2015
Wait...a woman actually went out with you Fred? Will miracles never cease.. No accounting for bad taste or is it that "bad taste is timeless"? Anyone remember that bit of graffiti in the Oregon district in Dayton from the 70s and 80s?
In the immortal words of my old man, "Wait'll you get to be my age!"
Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse, but the one comfort we have is Cincinnati sounds worse. ~Oliver Wendal Holmes Sr.
Posts: 6,201
Threads: 13
Reputation:
45971
Joined: May 2015
Location: Good Times
Command landing strips are my "go to" for a perfect merkin gift.
|
![[Image: 4CV0TeR.png]](https://i.imgur.com/4CV0TeR.png)
![[Image: 51209558878_91a895e0bb_m.jpg]](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51209558878_91a895e0bb_m.jpg)
