Three Overlooked Things, Week Three

[tigershrimp]

It wasn't overlooked when Unibrow spewed his haterade earlier in the week, but how do you suppose he likes 'em now...?

September 8, 2014: Unibrow completes a fourth quarter, 80-yard TD strike to Douchebag Sr., leaving four minutes on the clock. Dalton nullifies it with a 77-yard rip to AJ Green. Bengals' D holds, forces turnover on downs.
September 27, 2015: Fourth quarter, Unibrow to Douchebag Sr. nullified in short order by a Dalton-Green response TD. Bengals' D forces turnover on downs.

Unibrow has thrown two times as many INTs vs. the Bengals than ANY other team. He has 13 TDs to 18 INTs against Cincinnati, which is wretched, especially compared to his efforts against Pissburgh (17 TD, 6 INTs).

Hate them, Unibrow. It is your destiny.


Next observation is this: Unibrow, much like his namesake's prefix, is single-minded in his approach this season. He targeted Douchebag Sr. 18 times versus 8 other WR targets combined. In the preceding two games, the ratio was 40 to 25. Sixty-three percent of Unibrow's throws to wideouts are to Douchebag Sr.

By comparison, AJ Green thus far has been targeted on exactly 50% of Dalton's throw to receivers. Is a 13% differential any big deal? I think so, factoring their guy's age (36), his plan to retire at season's end, and their other WRs amounted to 40 combined yards. (Marvin Jones and Sanu combined for 122.) With Steve Smith doing so much damage, where's their Marvin Jones? Where's their next season's Douchebag Sr.? See what I'm sayin'?


Finally, I'll add this as a fish-barrel potshot: The Ratbirds are some whiny bitches. Douchebag Sr. has been talking, of course. He always talks. He had stuff to say about the Panthers, now he's calling out his locker room. Unibrow, too.

But get this...! Somebody else is ragging on the Ratbirds. From the outside, no less:

The New England Patriots have no business talking about the Baltimore Ravens. The Ravens are not even on their schedule. Yet a team that is known for saying little, they feel the need to open their mouths these days, most recently about the Ravens.

There have been accusations floating around that the Ravens tipped off the Indianapolis Colts about deflate gate even though there is no proof that the Ravens did such a thing. Head coach John Harbaugh has been pretty adamant about the fact that the Ravens never tipped off anyone. Patriots President Jonathan Kraft felt the need to speak about the Ravens 0-3 start to the 2015 season via 98.5 The Sports Hub.

"It's really too bad about Baltimore," Kraft said to host Marc Bertrand while laughing. Then Bertrand said that he wasn't surprised by the Ravens slow start because of karma...

LMAO! The cheatin'-ass Patriots goin' in on the Ratbirds! "Karma"! Ha! I'm in no hurry for Cincinnati to join the upper-crust drama...but then again, maybe it'd be nice to be in the company of the most feared and hated.

[BernLock]

I feel like this was written by a 14 year old girl who just got dumped

[tigershrimp]

(09-28-2015, 10:15 PM)BernLock Wrote: I feel like this was written by a 14 year old girl who just got dumped

...and ^this^ comment feels like it was written by a fantasy football geek who just lost his allowance on FanDuel. Again.


You're perfectly free to peruse all the "What if we traded X?" and "Don't sleep on Y!" threads. 

[McC]

(09-28-2015, 10:15 PM)BernLock Wrote: I feel like this was written by a 14 year old girl who just got dumped

Not true.  14 year old girls know nothing about football.

[BengalFanInNJ]

(09-28-2015, 09:55 PM)tigershrimp Wrote: By comparison, AJ Green thus far has been targeted on exactly 50% of Dalton's throw to receivers. Is a 13% differential any big deal? I think so, factoring their guy's age (36), his plan to retire at season's end, and their other WRs amounted to 40 combined yards. (Marvin Jones and Sanu combined for 122.) With Steve Smith doing so much damage, where's their Marvin Jones? Where's their next season's Douchebag Sr.? See what I'm sayin'?

They may have one in Breshad Perriman. Who knows? Who cares?

Interesting points nonetheless. They are going to be WR-starved next year especially if Perriman doesn't work out.

[BernLock]

(09-29-2015, 09:26 AM)McC Wrote: Not true.  14 year old girls know nothing about football.

Dang youre right. How about a 12 year old who is just starting to learn how to control her raging hormones

[XenoMorph]

(09-29-2015, 09:36 AM)BengalFanInNJ Wrote: They may have one in Breshad Perriman. Who knows? Who cares?

Interesting points nonetheless. They are going to be WR-starved next year especially if Perriman doesn't work out.

if the season continues as is they might be breaking in a new QB if they go into rebuild mode.

[J24]

(09-29-2015, 04:56 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: if the season continues as is they might be breaking in a new QB if they go into rebuild mode.

Their not giving up on Flaco.

[Hammerstripes]

Baltimore will be just fine. They have too good of a front office and GM to have a complete rebuild mode.

That being said, I feel like the Bengals are miles ahead of them in terms of talent and depth at this point.

[XenoMorph]

(09-29-2015, 05:05 PM)J24 Wrote: Their not giving up on Flaco.

just saying his price tag jumps a ton next season

[Joelist]

The Rats will have to renegotiate Flacco's contract this offseason. Otherwise between him and the dead money they have a BIG cap issue coming up.

They should have around 13 million dead money next season. Without a renegotiation Flacco gets 28.5 million against the cap.

[*Nate (formerly eliminate08)*]

(09-29-2015, 05:09 PM)Hammerstripes Wrote: Baltimore will be just fine.  They have too good of a front office and GM to have a complete rebuild mode.

That being said, I feel like the Bengals are miles ahead of them in terms of talent and depth at this point.

Yeah, i don't think they are going anywhere either. It was a tough matchup for them against all of our weapons
and they should beat a Benless Stealer team on Thursday night. I still think they win about half their games and
barely miss the Playoffs.

[tigershrimp]

(09-29-2015, 11:38 AM)BernLock Wrote: Dang youre right. How about a 12 year old who is just starting to learn how to control her raging hormones

Now that we're practically sworn enemies, let's do the math on the AFCN together. You'll correct me if I'm mistaken.

Pissburgh (yes, I use sophomoric pejoratives against every other blessed NFL team and as many rival players as I can) minus Melonhead Ben. Hm. Michael Vick ready for some AFCN quarterbackin', fine china that he is? Can he even make it 4-6 weeks, starting against a pride-wounded Dumpster Duck D no less? Their O is predicated on Melonhead's meatheadedness. Vick will get lit up. 

Lebeau's gone. Is their D scary? I say it's only as scary as Cincinnati's. I give Cincinnati a +2 advantage here, based on no actual mathematical weighting. Just feels like a +2. Let's call it plus two in the division standings at season's end. The Pissburgh Stoolers will be chasing Bengals all year.


Cleveland? I mean...QB controversy. Cincinnati pounded Manziel like their drunk prom date. He probably trains with a Japanese flag doorag imagining a rematch. And McCown? {shrug} I can't imagine he'd fare better'n Unibrow or Rivers. 

The Browneyes' run D? Dead last. The Browneyes' own rushing attack? 25th.

That's a +4. Sorry, but it is. Maybe even a +5.  


Baltimore. Plus-three. That's giving them more credit than they've earned. 

AFCN
Bengals 11-5
Stoolers 9-7
Ratbirds 8-8
Browneyes 6-10

I believe that to be mathematically correct.